MuggleNet Fan Fiction
Harry Potter stories written by fans!
(Signed) · Date:
08/19/11 8:04 · For:
Wow, well done. I love the simplicity of it, so short but yet you manage to convey all that feeling and more. It really flowed, and the ending seemed perfect. You really did this darker side of Sirius's experiences justice. Good job, I really enjoyed this.
Name: Hermoine Jean Granger
(Signed) · Date:
10/01/10 10:51 · For:
Name: the fetal positon
This is such a heart-wrenching piece to read through; a small description of his day is more than enough to really pity his condition at Grimmauld Place. I particularly liked the beginning where you allude to his days at Azkaban. The talk of the different shrieks that he's accustomed to, and the wretched life that he lived there are put into words in a remarkably believable manner.
Sirius also knows there are good screams, but he can’t remember what they are like – they seem like a life time ago, when the sun still shined.
This line sums up his life post Pettigrew's faked death, I think. I can't imagine how awful it is to first stay at Azkaban, then find yourself cooped up in a place that's as worse as that and which has bitter memories associated. "While the sun shined" - that phrase says so much to me - in the physical as well as an emotional realm, it holds so true.
The constant contrast between noise and silence was another thing that really appealed to me in the fic. I enjoyed that you made it a fundamental basis and talked of his emotions through the interplay of noise and silence. The screams of his mother, the screams that haunted him in Azkaban so starkly contrast with the silence and quiet he's living in when at Grimmauld Place(sans the occasional shrieks of his mother, obviously).
The feeling of being trapped - both at Grimmauld Place and at Azkaban - is something that this story has a strong undercurrent of, and I like it for that. The feelings that you express in words aren't direct, on-your-face emotional, but I felt that this style of subtle and strong was a major plus point.
The characterisation of Sirius was amazing - he's written in accordance with canon and believably. The dry tone with its dark humour and sarcasm makes me sympathetic towards Sirius and the lack of life that's there in him.
I was, however, irked by the 'i's in the introduction. I felt the effect would be the same whether capitalised or not, and it didn't really make sense to me as to why you wrote it in small letters.
The ending, with the reference to the metronome was fantastic - it really signified what he was feeling so perfectly. Sat in the quiet room, with the unwavering throb of the metronome is as far from the screams of Azkaban as humanely possible, but Sirius finds that he can understand it just as well. I think this was my favourite line in the entire story - well, this or the last conversation between Remus and Sirius which just about managed to make me shed a tear or two.
This was brilliant!! I'm going to check your author page for any other stories, because I sure love your style of writing.
Author's Response: Wowww, thankyou for the awesome review! I'm glad you enjoyed it :) The metronome was just an idea that I put in on a whim when I was writing it, so I'm glad that you think it works!
(Signed) · Date:
08/30/10 9:21 · For:
I really liked this. Sirius's character is heartbreaking, and you captured his tortured self well. I especially liked the idea of the metronome counting away as the world ends. Very nice imagery. :)
Author's Response: Thankyou, I'm glad you enjoyed!