Actually, didn't Harry have a similar conversation with Ginny. He thought she'd be safer if the Death Eaters didn't know she was his girlfriend.
She's lucky it all worked out for her in the end. It doesn't always work like that for all of us.
Author's Response: But it didn't. Ginny had to go through a year of not seeing Harry and fighting the Carrows, only for her own brother to die at the battle. So it didn't really work out for her in the end and I have no idea who you mean by "all of us".
I think I did read this ages ago under the other title, but didn't review, so am leaving one now!
I really love the way you described every little gesture, and particularly Ginny's voice. It's obvious how upset emotionally she is, but you keep her language calm and controlled. And I love your characterisation of Harry. It's just so perfect, from the reference to him trying not to laugh to him being awkward and telling her the truth in as gentle a way as he can, and then completely messing it up by kissing her. And I also think it's sweet that you don't think Ron would have told his brothers about Ginny and Harry. It's a small detail, but it shows that he thought their relationship meant a lot too. Even though we know they end up happily married it still manages to be sad and poignant without ever seeming overblown. It's a really lovely story, and yes I think "Out Of My Life" is a much better title.
Author's Response: Oh, I'm so glad you liked it, Alex! To be honest, this is probably the only story I've actually kept from my 13-year-old days. I had about three or four others and I deleted them all from SIYE and FF.net, the only two sites which would accept such rubbish. :D I was never satisfied with JKR's version of the breakup and do like this one better, but the only thing is, in my version Ginny's a far weaker character. I'm really glad you liked my description -- in my current writing it's far better though, in my opinion. Harry's characterisation is something I wasn't sure I had, so I'm flattered you think it's perfect. Ron keeping their relationship from his brothers is something in my personal canon and I think that's more likely to happen than just blurting it out once Harry and Ginny are finished. Thanks so much for the review, Alex! ~Soraya~
Hmm, this is an interesting scenario. Had this particular scene not been cemented into canon as something else, it would be completely believable to me. In fact, I had to peruse HBP just to make sure that it was like I remembered it and not thus, so I'd say that you posited a very nice scenario.
I really like tweaking canon to make it better, because there are points, no matter how much we adore the Potterverse as JKR has created it, that certain moments lack luster and the 'wow' they were meant to have. For instance, I thought Harry/Ginny was a stupid idea becuase it just didn't make sense because Harry spent more time pining for Cho freaking Chang than he did for Ginny, and they were supposed to have this great, forever kind of love from that? That's why, even as a Harmony shipper (only in certain situations, as I do believe in Ron/Hermione), I enjoy reading some Harry/Ginny, because good writers fill in those gaps and make the romance make sense. I'm not biased against any ship, really, save for Dramione and Snamione, because just...wtf.
Your writing is very good, and your grammar/flow/word choice is well done. It's very easy to read and I didn't find any mistakes at all, which is refreshing (and with the amount of reading I know you do, you already know that).
That's it for now, so I hope this review brightens yoru day as much as yours did for me. Have a lovely afternoon/evening/whatever would be appropriate for your time zone.
Author's Response: Well, actually it's morning down my end :D I'm really chuffed you read one of my stories, being one of my favourite authors on MNFF and a big name on here too. To be honest, this was just a bit of musing and God knows how it got on paper (or computer screen) because now, when I look back on it, I don't know what to think. I know what you mean about Potterverse. JKR said so herself that she's not all that at writing romance. But I do think that H/G made sense because Ginny spend so much time pining for Harry and he was just too stupid to see it. It was only when he kind of realised that she was a girl that he actually started to ntoice her. The fact that you're not a H/G shipper yet still read my story and didn't find any mistakes at all amazes me, because I'm sure that there are loads of mistakes in there. And I don't mind Dramione, just Snamione because I HATE Snape regardless of what he's done. At least Draco's good looking :) Thank you for your lovely review. It made my day! ~Soraya~
Author's Response: Thank you!
the part about forcing harry to have coffee made me laugh. lol.
Author's Response: Thanks for reading and reviewing and I'm glad I made you laugh. ~Soraya~
i liked it but of course more would have been better
Author's Response: Thank you for saying that you liked it. I know, my stories seem short but this particular one is one of my first fics. I've considered continuing this although to be honest it's on permanent hiatus at the moment. If inspiration does strike, rest assured I'll post it ASAP. Thanks for reading and reviewing! ~Soraya~
Delightfully heartbreaking. If I didn't know better, I might think it was the way JKR had written it. But I think I would have liked it better if you had ended it on the line "out of my life". But I loved it. A lot. :D
Author's Response: Thanks! I don't think I'll ever be as good as JKR, but I'm very flattered! An excellent suggestion, which I might add to the end, as is the phrase "delightfully heartbreaking". :D