I tried hard not to cry because I am in study hall right now and this is a sad sweet story.
Augh! There is too much pain and sadness! I will unashamedly admit that I like Severus way better than James, and also that I think Lily should have picked Sev! Of course, this is probably because I've seen the pain and anguish of an abandoned Snape... I loved this story! Great job. :D
thats all i have to say.
so cute =^.^=
and very good. =)
I love it. A small part of me vaguely wondered if Jo Rowling had ever made Snape see Lily in the mirror, even if she had never written it into any of her books. To me, Snape's love for Lily is one of the best plots in the whole series, and I loved that you wrote a fic of him seeing her one more time.
Oh my god this is so sad it reminds me of the scene from A Very Potter Sequel where Snape looks into the Mirror of Erised to see Lily waving back at him
Was it Ariana that dumbledore saw? Who else?
Author's Response: I intended it to be Ariana, Aberforth, and his mother (because had he not been so absent while home he might have been able to prevent his mother's death).
i stumbled across this story on google. i read this story and i was thinking how this plays in such a huge factor in severus's character. great job.
That was a really interesting concept--and very creative, too. I automatically assumed that no one except Harry and Dumbledore had seen the mirror when it was at Hogwarts, and I like how you showed its effect on Severus as well. At first, it seemed as though you were leading up to Snape finding a portrait of Lily, but I'm very glad you went in the Erised direction.
I have just a few nitpicks, though. I think you maintained Severus's character very well throughout the piece, but the line "'It…hurts so much,' he cried. 'How do I live knowing that she is gone?'" seems a little out of character to me. Even when we view Snape's memories in The Prince's Tale, he is rarely that open with his feelings. I don't think he would reveal so much of what he is feeling to Dumbledore.
I like how you had Snape ask the same question to Dumbledore that Harry asked in book 1, but I can't see him using the same words as Harry. Snape calling Dumbledore "sir" in this passage, though he may have done it before, doesn't seem right to me. Maybe it's because when Harry asked the question, he was asking in a tentative tone, and Snape using the same words implies he was also slightly anxious. I can't imagine Snape being afraid of Dumbledore--not when they're on the same side.
That being said, I love how Dumbledore answers the question truthfully, and I love your wording with his reply. But instead of saying "the old man wiped the water from his face," I think the use of the word "tears" would make the sentence flow better. It's a little confusing if "water" is used, because it implies that his face is wet through some outside force, and not tears. It also makes it less dramatic and tragic, because having a "wet face" isn't nearly as theatric as having a "tear-stained face" You did use the word "tears" in the few sentences before describing Dumbledore, though, so I can understand why you didn't want to put the word twice.
The ending of your story was sweet, with Severus finding out that Lily *did* care about him all that time--even carried a picture of him in her pocket when she died. That part was a little unbelievable to me, though. Lily seems very angry in The Prince's Tale after Snape calls her a Mudblood. At the time of her death, she was in the Order and fighting the very evil that Snape stood for. I can't imagine she'd feel nostalgic and carry a childhood picture of him around. It would be more understandable if the picture was found in the attic, amongst a bunch of old albums. It might not have the same effect, but it makes it more realistic and leaves the mention of Lily more in character.
Overall, this fic was very sweet. I don't usually like Snape/Lily fics, but this one was very nicely written. You added just the right amounts of tragedy and hope, creating a beautiful story.
Author's Response: I really appreciate your feedback, and most of what your critiques were very helpful. What i was trying to do with the childhood picture was a little too complex for myself, I think; I wanted to show that Lily did not care to remember Snape past that point, and that she wanted to remember what he was instead of what he became. I probably could have phrased it better, but thank you for your review all the same.
That was a tearjearker. I liked it.