Ooh, mega angstry Ron/Hermione.
I always did theorise how screwed up Ron would have been if Harry had somehow died (you know, like I thought he would've). Every time he was a selfish wank, like in GoF, it would all crash in on him.
You know, I really like reading pre-DH pieces to see how some of us thought it would turn out. I personally had always pegged Ron as the one who would snuff it. First off, I wanted Harry with Hermione, or at least Hermione not with Ron. Second, he annoys the sh!t out of me.
Anyway, after miles of digression, I know you claim to not like how this fic was written overly much, but I really like the feel of it. It's not wildly introspective, especially for a first-person. It fills in gaps without being an information dump.The style also happpens to fit the mood rather well.
You will be seeing me again soon. Ta!
Author's Response: You know, I actually agree with you - I figured Ron would be the one to die (well and Ginny for that matter, but that's because I'm evil and I figured that everything had to be stripped away from Harry for him to be able to bring himself to kill - I thought there'd be a PS parallel with Ron sacrificing himself and Hermione being forced to bow out gracefully to leave Harry alone at the end, with Ginny as the final push over the cliff edge - I've got a feeling we've discussed that before?), but that aside, I wanted to explore the idea of Harry being the one to die because, to be honest, I figured there'd be more angst that way as clearly Ron would cope far worse than Harry as the one left behind. It's not the style or even the feel so much that I'm not happy with; it's just the simple fact that as it's one of the earliest things I wrote it's just not as ... polished, I suppose, as what I've written later, and it just all feels a little clunky and lacking in fluidity to me, but thanks for the lovely comments on it, because it's great to know that I avoided the over-introspective or info dump traps even then. This is admittedly one of the better of my earlier fics, hence why it has seen the light of day again, because a number of fics haven't, and are relegated solely to the depths of my writing LJ! O.o
Quite a depressing story, but nicely written (I know you said you wrote it a while ago and your writing has improved, which I agree with - it's more subtle now - but this is still great). I liked how you didn't reveal the characters until the end, initially I thought it was Ginny but as I went through I picked up more of Ron and Hermione's characters. Great story!
Author's Response: Thanks for the lovely review. I'm glad that you liked how the characters weren't revealed until the end - I really wanted to highlight some of Ron's better qualities that don't often get acknowledged through the parallel with Harry.
Amazing... Good first fan fic. Had me teary eyed and felt the grief of those who suffered.
Author's Response: Thanks, sorry I made you teary though.
Wow, even though it's totally au now the final books out, it's amazing!
The way you write flows so well, and I was convinced it was Ginny talking about Harry, until the last couple of paragraphs. Very well written :)
Author's Response: Thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed it. The parallel with Harry was exactly what I was aiming for to draw out Ron's heroic side.