I know that a story's good when I cry a little over it. You used such an emotional situation to your advantage and filled the gaps perfectly. Can't wait to read more!
Oh my God, this is so so terrible to read (not your writing by the way, which is brilliant). Breaks my heart over again.
Oh, so sad... But you did it so well... :'(
*sniff* I've just looked at this again and it's just so good, so sad. It made me tear up again just looking at it. I'm off to the QSQ nominations with it - wonderful story!
this story is very sad. i like it a lot. poor remus and tonks =(
Emma. This is so fantastic.
Your use of second person was perfect for this story. Like, it was so unobtrusive like the point of view can be sometimes. I barely noticed in while reading, and it helped draw me into the story.
Your Tonks was spot on. I really felt for her here. I've never really liked Tonks as a character - I'd say she's in my top three for least favourite - but I could see what she was seeing and feel what she was feeling, and helped me understand her possible motives when she came into the battle instead of staying with Teddy.
The only part I wasn't happy with was Bellatrix. I was fine with her until we got to the 'Not good enough, my dear niece' bit. I get that she's mocking Tonks here, but it doesn't seem like her to use 'dear' or 'darling' at all, even sarcastically. I'd expect her to put emphasis on words like 'niece' or 'sister', as if she can hardly stand to call them that. And would she know about Teddy? I can't think of any canon reason she would, whether written in the books or insinuated meetings (and it's not like Andromeda's going to send an owl off to her estranged family about her new grandson).
Emma, this was lovely. I'm very glad I read it. :)
Wow. Just, wow. You know, I don't tend to get emotional about stories, I really don't. I've written a few good tear-jerkers myself, but don't tend to get all sniffly when I'm reading fanfic much. But this one - oh my gosh, this is just brilliant. Really brilliant. I'm so glad I finally came around to read it, even if I have tears in my eyes. *sniff*
The other thing I realized as I was reading this was that I have hardly ever read a story about Remus and Tonks. I just haven't, for no particular reason. And now I am so struck by how absolutely tragic they are. How hard it must have been for them to go to the battle. How it might have gone.
This is canon. I absolutely believe Remus heard the news and went straight to the battle. Of course he would! And I sort of hate Andromeda for calling him out on that. It's his duty as a member of the Order. He *has* to fight for a better life for Teddy.
But I've always wondered why Tonks went. She just had a baby, for goodness sake! This is perfect. She went after Remus, she went to get him. Ah, that's just so sad, to think that they didn't go together!
And then for her calling out to him to be the cause of his downfall. Oh oh oh. And then Bellatrix! Ah! I hate her for doing that, I really do. And yet, now I'm sure this is all what happened.
I love the use of second person. I wonder how it would feel if it were first or third person, but there is something about imagining myself as this new mother that is very effective. The flashback in italics is fantastic. And the end - guh. The last three lines are just perfect. Heartbreaking. Stunning.
I don't fangirl much, but I am so impressed with this story. I am going to remember this one. I think I am going to look for more Remus/Tonks stories now that you have peaked my interest. And I'm adding you to my list to see what you come up with next! Really amazing job, Emma! ~Gina :)
Author's Response: Ginaaaa :)
Actually, this was the first Remus and Tonks fic that I've written, let alone read, really. So my feelings are like yours - I never actually realised just how tragic they are as a couple and a family. I never really got the appeal with them. I think Fred's death overshadowed theirs for me.
Mmm, Andromeda. She knows that it is Remus' duty to go fight, but she's just protective of Tonks. She knows what could happen, so she comes off as a bit tough. I always wanted to know why Tonks went too, and this way, it's a bit more understandable for me.
I'm glad you enjoyed the second person narrative! I don't think I could have written it in any other POV, but I'd be interested in seeing someone else tackling it from first or third. Oh, it's great that you liked the flashback and the ending!
Thank you for all of your lovely compliments, Gina! This was such a fab review. You really made my day :)
oh, that was so good! i never really thought exactly how tonks and remus died at the battle. so sad, but i think you did them justice. :)
Author's Response: Thank you for taking the time to read, and leave such a lovely review! That was a great compliment. I'm glad you enjoyed the fic :)
Oh, Emma. This was just heartbreaking. I am not usually a fan of second person (to say the least), but I think you used it well here. Lovely story.
Author's Response: Lori! Thanks so much for coming by and leaving me such a nice review. I hope I'm beginning to change people's minds about second person, ha ha :)
Aww, Emma, that's very very sad. You've killed my OTP again *sob sob*. Very well-written. You seem to have got a handle on Tonks as she's torn between love for her husband and love for Teddy. I think there's a third thing that would pull at her, which is that she's an Auror and thus she has the dubious honour of being bound to fight. Does that make sense? I would have liked to have seen that explored a bit more, although you did touch on it briefly when she wanted to go instead of Remus. Brilliant moment there by the way. Oh, and their kiss. Quite perfect.Understated yet so very deep and true.
You hoped with all your might that your child would not be punished for his parents' foolish mistake. I was a bit confused with this bit. Were you saying that teddy's conception was a mistake (quite likely) or that Remus' parents made a foolish mistake that led him to becoming a werewolf. I'm presuming it's the former which makes sense, but just wondered if I'd made an error.
The end was gut-wrenching. Neither could keep their promises, poor Teddy indeed.
Author's Response: Caroleeeee. Thank you so much for leaving such a fab review - all of your lovely comments are greatly appreciated :)
I do see what you mean about Tonks' duty as an Auror, and you're right, it's something that I should have more than likely touched on a bit more, but she seemed to utterly preoccupied during that scene in the books that I didn't feel as if it was high on her list of priorities, if you get me.
Oh, and for your question. Yes, I did mean that Teddy's conception was a mistake - not in the usual way that people take it, but in the risks associated with Remus' lycanthropy, and whether or not that would be passed down to Teddy. Glad to clear that up for you :)
That was such a great angsty fic. I usually hate them, I'll be honest - but this one is so well written, with the characters that I love the most (Tonks and Remus and Teddy) - that it was brilliant all the same. The characterisation of Tonks as a loving mother and Andromeda was absolutely fabulous and I loved the 2nd person POV. It was spectacular in every way and I'm going to look at your other stories right now. :)
Author's Response: WOW. Thank you so so so much for all of your absolutely lovely words! You've really made me happy :)
Thanks for taking the time to read and review, and I hope you enjoy my other stories :)
Lol @ your chapter notes. :D
This was an interesting portrait of a hidden moment in time. I really like how her mind beats that solid tattoo of 'don't die, don't die'. It really lends desperation to the story. You know how I feel about second person PPOV, and I'm still not sure about it here, but you at least have the gift of being able to remove the repetitiveness from it that makes it intolerable in lesser hands.
Very sweet story, my dear, and a very good return to the Most Recent list.
Love you bunches!
Author's Response: Jessssss *squeeshes*
Thanks so much for the review! I do see what you mean about the POV, but you know me, I can't help but write things in 2nd person these days :P
Glad you enjoyed it! Loves you too :)
I wrote my own version of this event but it was never validated... But this was really well-wriiten, and I loved it:). Remus and Tonks' deaths always make me miserable.
Author's Response: Thanks for taking the time to read and review! I'm glad you enjoyed the fic, even if it did make you miserable ;)
*sniff* Emma, you've made me cry, too. That was so sad... and so well written! I'm not SPEW worthy so sorry for the squee/sob review but I loved it!
Author's Response: Juliaaaaaa! Psssh, I love any kind of reviews! Thanks so much <3 :)
Now, if you must know, I hate Tonks as a character, and I despise things written in second person, but those are just my personal preferences. However, the mention of Tonks so keyed into the nature around her is fascinating. This drew me in immediately. You incorporate the canon well, and the repetition gets certain flair to the panic your character is feeling. I was thinking of that ‘Good girl,’ line the other night, and, I must say that I’m still rather confused (though this is no fault of yours) whether Aberforth was addressing either Tonks or Ginny. The quoted lines here really help to set up your scene, and you have kept the quick flashiness of the ‘Battle of Hogwarts’ chapter; that’s not an easy feat. I an, however, wondering why she’s just now pulling out her wand in the middle of all this chaos. Wouldn’t Mad-Eye tell her off for that?
It’s going to be hard for this not to sound like a preference thing, for I did just admit it, but this might have been better written in the third-person, present-tense. You are trying to get the reader to imagine himself as Tonks, yeah? Well, I’d argue because this is so fast-paced and carries a confusing air about it, this would have a wider range there. Walking through the battle as a character is interesting is interesting, but it is limited and might close off to the empathy or panic the reader is supposed to feel. Plus, if you’ll suffice my grammar for a moment, you are essentially limited to ‘you’ and ‘your’ as the writer. That’s just something to think about along the way. However, putting myself in Tonks’s shoes, this element about her truly struggling with who to save as an Auror is a mark on the conscience
The flashback here is rather touching. The mother/child is universal. It’s written in a simple matter, as a glimpse, and it isn’t fraught with clichés. It’s not a flowery romance, but the character of Andromeda is quite interesting. She’s wise. The woman sounds as though she speaks with experience, and she has a point. Tonks says that the war has started? Hasn’t the war started a long time ago? This is a battle, not the war, albeit the finishing piece to be played, but isn’t that what they’ve done all along? Your Bella is quite interesting. The theme of ‘promise is kept throughout. One last thing that I would say is Tonks probably would not have thought that she aimed a pretty good jinx in the middle of a duel. She wouldn’t have thought like that when she was faced with Bella; it would have hardly mattered, for she would have been focused on the next attempt and just getting back home.
It’s a nice glimpse into the canon that was hardly touched, Emma, so good job there.
Good use of second person. Emotions are very real. Good story all around.
Author's Response: Hooray, first review already!
Thanks so much for all of your lovely comments, and taking the time to read and review. It's much appreciated :)