I really loved this fic. It's incredibly considering it's your first Marauder fic - you wrote the characters with such ease and gave insight into all the minor characters as well as Remus and Lily.
I liked your take on the James/Lily story - that Lily realises that she has misjudged James for all these years and graudally has to reverse it... it reminds me a bit of Pride and Prejudice (which the Lily/James story has always reminded me of anyway) and I think it's great that you didn't go with cliches when writing these characters.
Lily's outburst at Remus was fantastic and really showed up what I see as Remus' main flaw - his lack of self belief. It was very IC for both of them. You really did draw these characters perfectly!!
Just a few grammatical nitipicks -
He looked so small to Lily, like a child, but his face. Did you mean to write "but for his face"? Because that would make more sense. And... I think there was something else but I've forgotten it lol.
Anyway, great fic!!
You know, after I wrote this fic, I almost didn't post it. Most of my MNFF friends are Marauder aficionados, and I'm the polar opposite; I don't even read the category. But I posted it anyway, and I was surprised how well people liked it. I never bought into the idea that Lily hated James -- just that she thought he was a bit of a self-centred tool -- but finding out what he was willing to do for his friend made her see that, yes, he's a toerag, but not such a bad one. They had to start somewhere, so this is what I chose. Plus, the fic propmt for which I worte this was supposed to be inspired by movie canon, and I picked PofA where Remus told Harry that his mum was there for him.
Anyway, this is probably more of an earful than you were expecting, but there you go, hehe. Thanks for reading and reviewing, and I will make the correction you pointed out.
I like this fic =) It's a good way to show Lily how James is not always the over-inflated humongous bighead. =D
Thank you. In my little brain universe, it isn't some monumental thing like being Head Boy and Girl together and James suddenly being responsibe; it's Lily's perspective being retuned to seeing him behind the scenes and what kind of person he is under the puffed-up exterior.
Thanks for reading and reviewing. I thought at first...how random for this story to get a review. But seeing as you've just reviewed All the Time in the World, it made more sense. I'm glad you seem to like my work. Just as a warning, though...you might want to steer clear of anything written before Non Compos Mentis. Yeah...lol.
Take care and happy reading!
Pwnsome, and the complete opposite of AU. You deserve a cookie. *Hands over a cookie* ^^
Haha, thank youi. I accept your cookie with gratitude. :D
this was good, generally. Some things I think could have been better developed, for example, Lily's remark about her belief or lack of belief in God seemed kind of like it introduced too much side story to be explored in a fiction of this length. But, Remus was well done, as was Lily in general.
"Several things had happened that morning: she learnt of Remus’s disease, she grew closer to him, and she knew for sure now who, between Severus and James, was the better man."
This epitomizes the fic and shows wondefully how Lily is coming to see both James and Severus.
I'm glad you generally approve of this story. I consider myself what one might call 'Marauder impaired'. Basically, it's an era in which I do not specialise or spend a great deal of time. It's just not my thing, but this little plot bunny just needed to be written, or my muse was going to go on strike.
I see what you mean about Lily and the reference to God, but, as a Muggle-born, she was probalby raised in a Christian household, so phrases like 'OMG' would probably have stayed with her for some time. Even though she knows differently in the magical world, there would be, IMO, that latent idea of an omnipotent power above in her mind. I just figured that this would be something more or less obvious to a reader.
I'm really glad you liked it, as it was my first attempt at writing the older Potter tribe (even when they weren't together. I always conjectured what made Lily change her mind about James, and I figured that it had to be something profound like this.
Thanks for reading, and take care!
I thought you did a fantastic job for your first Marauder Era fic! As my name suggests I am absolutely crazy about the Marauders and this was very enjoyable to read. Keep up the great writing! :-)
I must confess, the reason why it took until my 20th fic to write Marauder Era is because I stopped reading it long ago. I just couldn't take the shippy nonsense where Lily just decided that she didn't hate James anymore, was always secretly in love with him, or something like that. I just needed to know that there was a legitimate reason for her to reassess his character. This is what I chose. :)
I've been commanded to write more of this era, and I might even add more to this particular fic and/or timeline. It's all sort of playing out in my head now, and once my muse takes hold, she only lets me write what she wants. Consequently, you might be seeing more from me soon. hehe
Thanks for reviewing, as I do so love them, and take care. I hope to see you again soon.
Helloo... Dun Dun Du-u-u-un! Yes, I'm here to R&R. Right let's kick off.
Your characterisation is great. Even though it's mainly a Lily Remus interaction, you've managed to convey a lot about others in this short story - Snape, Sirius, Dumbledore, Pomfrey and even Peter (she didn't spot him before but he's still in the room - I liked that, it shows his relative insignificance which is important because looking back no one gave Peter much relevance. Lily's ponderings about James are lovely, and I like the fact that she walks by the lake to clear her head. Their conversation at the end was spot on - HA, I enjoyed her teasing of him and him being totally befuddled by her presence. Lily reaching out to Remus and assuring him she'd be there for him was gorgeous and made me go 'ahhh' (in my head, you understand, otherwise my kids think I've gone nutty)
Okay, I do have a nit pick ... query, call it what you will. I don't understand why Remus is in such a bad state. In POA, he tells Harry that before the other three became Animagi, he would bite tear and claw at himself because he was shut away, but after they became Animagi, he didn't suffer nearly as much. Because he was with them, he kept his mind and thus was out and about - not confined. I believe he'd still be in some pain from the initial transformation, but not to the point of collapse. I'm assuming from your story, and the fact that he wasn't back at the Shrieking Shack, that something must have gone wrong in their nightly jaunt, but it wasn't explained. This bugs me a bit ... your punishment is to write what happened and why he's in such a wretched way.
The only place he could get away from it was the park nearby where Tuney and me played every day. Grammatically speaking it should be 'Tuney and I', but as it's speech I'll forgive Lily her error *snarky*. Yeah, that's just me, I'm afraid and years of my parents shouting at me for saying me instead of I.
I did enjoy the story, Jess, and it sets up the possibility of a friendship with James and the other Marauders perfectly. Hope you write more. ~Carole~
Ah, the Marauder Queen has descended. Hopefully, you left the Daleks at home. :D
This started out as a drabble for the monthly, but I realised after I started writing it that it was far to complex and had far too many facets to leave at 800 words or less. I really wanted there to be some kind of relationship between Remus and Lily, and I really wanted to keep away from that staid, old 'Lily is a shrieking shrew and James is a git' thing. Sure, James, from what little we saw of his school self, was a git, but that wasn't the sum of him. Remus would know James's better qualities, and as a good friend, he would be willing to go to bat for his mate.
And as for Remus being in a bad state, I theorise that it took years for the Marauders to master their Animagus skills. This is early in sixth year, so, in my mind, it's still early in the other boys' involvement in Remus's transformation. It would take time for these new animals to build trust with a rampaging werewolf, and that's why they're so knackered in the first place. Remus just wore them the hell out. That's all, really. I probably could and should have explained that in the first place, and I just might do that anyway.
And, just a quick jab at 'Tuney and me' versus 'Tuney and I': I is only used if the phrase is at the beginning of a sentence, according to the crazy bitch I had for an English teacher in year 8. The rules may be different in UK vs. US English, but I really don't know. If all else fails...BLAME THE BETA!!! lol Now, I really want to know.
This little jaunt into the Marauder's world was quite fun. When one isn't mired in the muck of James/Lily and not engrossed in the idea that each of these characters are what someone else made them to be, not who I want to shape them to be, it's quite enlightening. I see a lot of how I see Harry in my portrayal of Lily. As we know, Harry hated Malfoy intensely. However, when all was said and done, the Malfoys (well, Narcissa and Draco, at any rate) were shown to be merely pawns in the Dark Lord's game, and Harry didn't let them pay for that in the end. He went to bat for them. Inversely, Lily initially thought that James was only considerate of his own agenda, but when she saw what he was willing to do to help a friend, she saw that he was much more than that. She believed in his ability to be a stand-up human being. That's what I wanted for this story more than anything.
Thank you for reading. I know it had its rough patches, but all in all, it was what I wanted it to be, and that was a gateway. I probably will add more to the events in this story, or maybe even more to this story itself, but there is just so much to be told about these characters and how they came to be who we know.
P.S. - No animagus orgies here!
I love it!! You know I am slightly obsessed with James and Lily right now and this was a lovely look at their relationship through the character of Remus. I am also loving Remus at the moment, and you wrote him so well - so careworn, so sad. Great insight into his character when he said he was not bothered by people hating him, but by people fearing him. I loved how he initially reacted to Lily with anger, but she put him in her place. Now he has another supporter. Lovely! And then the way he helped Lily see James in a slightly different light - very nice! And the dream comment was perfect. Ah, I love a good Marauder story. Was there another Marauder thing you were working on as well? It's good to see you posting again! As always, I loved reading your story! ~Gina :)
Remus and Lily's relationship has been ignored throughout fanfiction, and I don't know why. You'd think, out of all the Marauders, Remus is the one with whom Lily would probably have the most in common. A platonic relationship between them only makes sense, especially if Lily knew how much he had to endure and still put up a brave face. That seems like the type of person that she would like.
And, yes, I have another Marauder bun in the oven. I'm going to finish it as soon as I get my monthly stuff done. Thanks for reviewing, as always, and I'm glad you enjoyed it. :D