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Reviews For A Moment, A Love

Name: Sabriel Rose (Signed) · Date: 11/22/10 11:20 · For: In Which Lily Beats a Few Bludgers
It all addsto thestory. Loving it BTW


Name: Sabriel Rose (Signed) · Date: 11/22/10 11:12 · For: In Which Lily is a Delinquent
Awesome! Such a comfortable read, what I mean is you set the scene really well.


Name: Georgina1994 (Signed) · Date: 11/21/10 23:02 · For: In Which Lily has Some Untimely Encounters with Various Hufflepuffs
please update its getting reallllly goood :)))


Name: manatee (Signed) · Date: 11/20/10 19:13 · For: In Which Lily has Some Untimely Encounters with Various Hufflepuffs
PLease post more!!!!!!!!!!


Name: Filius_Flitwick101 (Signed) · Date: 11/18/10 1:51 · For: In Which Lily is a Delinquent
Gross-get a lyf!


Name: Maple_and_PheonixFeather (Signed) · Date: 11/13/10 13:15 · For: In Which Lily has Some Untimely Encounters with Various Hufflepuffs
Wow, I love this fic so much! I love how your characters all have a specific character and the overall flow is just fantastic :D


Name: avaantonia (Signed) · Date: 11/11/10 13:43 · For: In Which Lily has Some Untimely Encounters with Various Hufflepuffs
this is an awsone story! please continue! wonderful writing


Name: iluvcrookshanks (Signed) · Date: 11/07/10 15:52 · For: In Which Lily Beats a Few Bludgers
Wow!! I loved this story! This is my second time reading it today!!!! I really love love stories!


Name: iwishicouldwrite (Signed) · Date: 11/05/10 15:24 · For: In Which Lily has Some Untimely Encounters with Various Hufflepuffs
really interesting story! Update soon!


Name: morriganreighn (Signed) · Date: 11/02/10 16:46 · For: In Which Lily has Some Untimely Encounters with Various Hufflepuffs
Absolutely wonderful so far...cant wait for the next chapter.

Morrie


Name: hermioneweasley19 (Signed) · Date: 10/31/10 18:55 · For: In Which Lily is a Delinquent
Such a good story! Can't wait for the next chapter :)


Name: CoolCatElly (Signed) · Date: 10/26/10 9:20 · For: In Which Lily has Some Untimely Encounters with Various Hufflepuffs
Hi there Jen!

I really love how far this story has come. It’s one of the few next-gen stories which have really gripped me, and each and every character is so well-developed and unique. This chapter was another great example of that. Something I always adore is a flawed hero, or in this case, heroine. Your Lily has so many wonderful characteristics – she’s smart, feisty, and full of life and sparkle. And yet here we see some of her biggest flaws exhibited: her jealousy, selfishness, her temper. You know that as an author you’ve done something right when your readers want to strangle the heroine for her own good. :-D

The last chapter was very bitter-sweet. I loved the way Lily tried so hard to hold on to normality and yet, things are so different now that that’s easier said than done. I think we’re probably going to see that more and more from now on – everything falling slowly out of her control. It’s going to be really interesting to see what happens in future chapters.

I think the way you’ve handled the whole theme of teenage pregnancy has been very mature and also realistic. I think it has become something of a norm these days for people to think that being pregnant as a teenager means you have to A) hate the idea and want an abortion, B) suddenly turn into this brave martyr who vows to love and protect the baby with your life or C) Go the Juno-adoption route. Lily isn’t any of these. She goes through all the normal stages I think someone in this situation goes through, and we’ve already seen her come so far in this story through the whole young mothers’ group to deciding to keep the baby. She did seem to go backwards a bit in this chapter though – something I’m not sure I liked, and yet I don’t feel that it was unrealistic. *sigh* When will she ever really grow up?

This chapter was very dialogue-driven, and it really goes to show that you don’t need vast amounts of narrative to get a point across. I felt so hurt by Freya’s comments, and the encounter later on with Lysander was just horribly sad. I do wonder whether it was just Lily’s hormones which made her so rude to Freya at first though – it seemed to be a little bit extreme, even for her, though her reaction afterwards was to be expected. I also wanted to touch on Lysander. Is it just me or does he seem a little... weak. I get the feeling that he’s happy to submit to any orders he’s given, as we can see with this whole “well I’m off to Egypt” thing. I wish that we could see a few more admirable qualities in him. To be honest at the moment I’m not really sure why Lily fell in love with him – what makes them a compatible couple? At the same time, he is really just acting like an immature school-boy isn’t he? To think that he can just leave the girl he made pregnant when she’s at the most vulnerable time of her life.

The only other critique I have is the feeling that sometimes we’ve facing a bit of character-overload. I can only admire you for creating all these characters, but sometimes I do forget who’s who, especially since they aren’t referred to constantly. Lily’s group of friends are all wonderful, but now and again I have to go, “oh, Alice... who’s she again?” if you understand what I mean. I would have liked to maybe see a bit more emphasis on Lily’s friendship with the girls, especially Erin, though I understand that you need to steer away from that sometimes to keep the story moving forwards.

Then of course, I have to mention that one of the highlights of the story throughout for me has also been the way you manage to interject humour into it, without going overboard so that it affects the overall tone. The story is a wonderfully entertaining mixture of comedy and drama – something which is really hard to pull off. The Frog bit in this chapter really had me giggling...

All-in-all, you know that I really adore this, and I have to say congratulations on being featured!

Xxx
Elene


Name: xxfuseboxx (Signed) · Date: 10/25/10 15:15 · For: In Which Lily has Some Untimely Encounters with Various Hufflepuffs
its soo good :) i've been waiting for this chapter for a while, and i finally read it! its really great, keep it up :]


Name: nevilleherosnape (Signed) · Date: 10/25/10 10:58 · For: In Which Lily has Some Untimely Encounters with Various Hufflepuffs
w.o.w. I like this alot! It's really funny that she reacts to Freya just as I suspect she would react to the best friend if it had been a boy! Although knowing her dad and Aunt Hermonie, you'd think she would have learned a few things! Can't wait for more!


Name: BookWorm530 (Signed) · Date: 10/24/10 13:49 · For: In Which Lily has Some Untimely Encounters with Various Hufflepuffs
OMG I liked Lysander until now...he is being so selfish! Standing up for Freya over the mother of his future children and he is leaving for a month, eek! Hope he changes his mind...thanks for continuing this entertaining story!


Name: summerlily42 (Signed) · Date: 10/23/10 11:04 · For: In Which Lily has Some Untimely Encounters with Various Hufflepuffs
Poor Lily. I'm starting to feel her pain and annoyance with Lysander. Great chapter to a great story!


Name: locanena (Signed) · Date: 10/23/10 10:24 · For: In Which Lily has Some Untimely Encounters with Various Hufflepuffs
write more! good she should stand her ground. i think she beak up with him, if he's questioned her about the babies then he doesn't deserve her and the babies. She needs to be strong for her kids.


Name: Georgina1994 (Signed) · Date: 10/22/10 23:35 · For: In Which Lily has Some Untimely Encounters with Various Hufflepuffs
Yaaaay it's up!!!! Definatley worth the wait :)


Name: Georgina1994 (Signed) · Date: 10/15/10 23:13 · For: In Which Lily Attempts to Be a Normal Teenager
hurry please with the next chapters :)


Name: BrunetteGinny (Signed) · Date: 10/11/10 8:29 · For: In Which Lily Attempts to Be a Normal Teenager
Ummmnnn.... I LOVE IT


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