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Reviews For A Moment, A Love

Name: muggler180 (Signed) · Date: 09/13/11 13:26 · For: In Which Lily Gets into Trouble with Several People
I loved it. Good for Lysander i hope it resolves though. Please update!


Name: fuishiongirl (Signed) · Date: 08/20/11 18:19 · For: In Which Lily Gets into Trouble with Several People
i like the story. i cantwait 4 the next chapter.


Name: andre322 (Signed) · Date: 08/08/11 16:29 · For: In Which Lily Gets into Trouble with Several People
Please update


Name: musicmoondance (Signed) · Date: 08/01/11 7:38 · For: In Which Lily Gets into Trouble with Several People
for some unexplainable reason i hated it!!!


Name: grangergirl35 (Signed) · Date: 07/17/11 17:20 · For: In Which Lily Gets into Trouble with Several People
Interesting story. Update soon!


Name: Lost_Robin (Signed) · Date: 07/13/11 14:00 · For: In Which Lily Gets into Trouble with Several People
Please update soon! I'm really curious what happens next.


Name: RavenclawDiamond (Signed) · Date: 06/25/11 16:22 · For: In Which Lily Gets into Trouble with Several People
Ahh, much love for this story...very good :) looking forwards to the next installment x


Name: summerlily42 (Signed) · Date: 06/17/11 11:13 · For: In Which Lily Gets into Trouble with Several People
I'm glad Lysander stood up for himself! But I hope everything works out for them...


Name: inspirations (Signed) · Date: 06/06/11 8:50 · For: In Which Lily Gets into Trouble with Several People
Hey Jen,

My favourite thing about this chapter has to be your portrayal of Lysander and Lily. Every couple has arguments, and it adds a sharp touch of realism to their relationship to see them on the outs with each other. I particularly like that we see an angry Lysander, because we’ve seen a volatile Lily before, but Lysander has always seemed so measured and calm. You’ve shown he’s reached a breaking-point, in a way, and that makes him more relatable to me. He’s got to be under a lot of stress even if he wants the babies, and the manifestation of stress shown through the anger is perfect here, because everyone wants a successful life of their own too.

Developing on the conflict, the underlying reasons behind it also make these two easier to relate to. I think, when your seventeen, the last thing you’re thinking about is the prospect of children. You just want to enjoy yourself, and this is shown in Lily at the beginning of the story -- and I’m loving seeing her develop over the course of this story. She‘s growing up more and more as she confronts her responsibilities, etc., and becoming more and more likable as a result. Equally, at seventeen, you’re thinking about your career, because that’s really when you start to make major decisions about life. I love that Lysander is clearly thinking about that. So, in short, I think you’ve done a great job of showing the dimensions of both character’s lives, and how their views of themselves and the environment around them are evolving.

Also, and I feel like I’m rambling a bit on the characterisation -- sorry. But, but, but -- you really have got such a perfect McGonagall. I can’t not comment on her. She sounds exactly like the McGonagall Harry knew -- and I think a lot of that is down to how severe you portray her, how she addresses Lily as ‘Potter’. But then she softens towards the end and calls her ‘Lily’ -- and I remember how she used to behave that way around Harry too.

And my final point has to be on this line: ‘say-anything-and-I’ll-castrate-you’
. Just LOL. I love Lily’s one-liners. This is a really excellent story, Jen -- it doesn’t matter how far apart the updates are like with some stories: I still read this one as soon as I see it and I enjoy it every time. Great work :) xx


Name: BookWorm530 (Signed) · Date: 06/02/11 14:15 · For: In Which Lily Gets into Trouble with Several People
Men are such pigs. Being pregnant is a physical and emotional rollercoaster and Lysander just ditches Lily for 3 weeks...unacceptable! I hope this time apart helps them grow closer and learn more responsibility. Everytime Lily is with McGonagall it makes me laugh...Harry Potter is the hero of the wizarding world but he has a badass, rude daughter and McGonagall taught them both! More please!


Name: MerrryD (Signed) · Date: 05/31/11 8:11 · For: In Which Lily Gets into Trouble with Several People
You know, I’ve been meaning to review this story ever since you first started writing it.

I think the real strength of this fic is Lily. She isn’t a standard heroine by any means and that makes her all the more relatable. She isn’t perfect, she’s loud and bold and a bit of a troublemaker. She can be a bitch, but she’s completely loyal to her friends and her family and Lysander. It’s obvious that she’d do anything for any of them.

Her voice is strong and brilliant. I can really feel her coming alive on the page…er, screen. This really shows how much your writing has improved from When Worlds Collide. In the beginning of WWC, Rose seemed a little bit like she could have been anyone else. In A Moment, A Love, Lily owns it. Her character is so viable, I almost feel like I could have a conversation with her.

Lysander fighting back was awesome. One, because relationships should be more equal and two, because that shows some underlying turmoil within him. I’m sure he didn’t intend to yell at Lily, but it was easier that addressing his guilt at getting her pregnant and then leaving her.

Also, the strength of their relationship shines through the yelling. The scene in McGongall’s office—Lysander going along with Lily’s story, and then him walking her back to Gryffindor tower. It’s obvious that he cares about her and wants to make sure she’s safe, but he’s kind of running away from his problems at this point. They do seem like a couple that can last. I’m rooting for them!

Another thing I really love about this story is how determined your writing is. You seem to know exactly where you’re going and everything moves at this smooth, fast pace. I don’t know if you’ve planned at all, but it definitely seems like it! Sometimes, when an author doesn’t know where his/her story is going, you can tell from the voice and the pace of the story and it really detracts from it. So, I highly commend you for the way this story flows. :D

*squishes*

--Mere


Name: nevilleherosnape (Signed) · Date: 05/31/11 7:37 · For: In Which Lily Gets into Trouble with Several People
I feel a bit of growing up happening here! Great chapter and overdue for lysander to give her a one/two!!


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