Reviews For A Moment, A Love
Reviewer: Filius_Flitwick101
Date: 11/27/10 5:01
Chapter: In Which Lily gets to Wear the Lucky Duck Pyjamas

eeeee!!! M on tenterhooks!

Reviewer: CoolCatElly
Date: 09/09/10 17:43
Chapter: In Which Lily gets to Wear the Lucky Duck Pyjamas


She's having TWINS!?

That was a big surprise. I felt so sorry for everyone here. You definitely sorted out any character problems you were having, because I couldn't find anything wrong with Ly.


Reviewer: summerlily42
Date: 09/08/10 18:41
Chapter: In Which Lily gets to Wear the Lucky Duck Pyjamas

Did not expect that one!!! Nice surprise! Hm.. I could see a miscarriage going on somewhere, just to add drama. Or what about Lysander leaving her? No! I don't want that to happen! haha nice job.

Reviewer: RupertsPheonix
Date: 08/16/10 14:58
Chapter: In Which Lily gets to Wear the Lucky Duck Pyjamas

i like this quite a bit. :) I'll be interested to see everyone's response (family-wise, that is). :)

Good job!

Reviewer: h_vic
Date: 08/14/10 13:07
Chapter: In Which Lily gets to Wear the Lucky Duck Pyjamas

I must have said this before, dear, but you write teenagers so convincingly. Your characters and the interactions between them feel very real. You've done a good job with Lily: she's likeable yet flawed and a product of her family yet her own person. I really like how she has her mother's fire and her father's disregard for rules (although just sometimes that can feel a little forced, I think, like in the opening chapter with the nail varnish where it seems odd that she wouldn't at least get why McGonagall would have an issue with it; I like it when her rule-breaking has a purpose like getting alcohol from Hogsmeade, but the way you've set her character up, delinquency for its own sake doesn't quite seem to suit her, to me at least).

The story is well constructed to in the way that you introduce the readers to Lily and her life and make us care about her before you bring in the issue of pregnancy, because so many fics dealing with things like teen pregnancy just rush in headlong without really setting up a strong foundation for the characters.

I love the relationships with her friends. They feel real, and affectionate and unforced. I'm a little less convinced so far though by her relationship with Lysander. I feel like I haven't got a particularly clear idea of who he is yet. He's a nice boy, but beyond that, I'm not really sure I can see any real depth to him at the moment or what makes the pair of them tick as a couple. Part of it may be because, as yet, I can't see what makes him Luna's son rather than just a random next gen character, if that makes sense.

A lot of that may just be due to him having not had much 'screen time' yet, and I'm sure that he'll become more fleshed out as the story progresses. I have to say though that he did feel a lot more human after seeing his reaction to Lily telling him she's pregnant – just swearing seemed a very genuine and likely response.

You've certainly succeeded in hooking me with this story. I find myself wondering if they can make it work (and I'll definitely keep reading to find out) and particularly how their parents will react (I'm particularly intrigued to see Luna's reaction because I just can't picture it at all).

I think it's a brave plot to take on, because it's such a difficult situation to relate to in so many ways, but I think you are doing a great job so far, Jen.


Reviewer: fairy_lights27
Date: 08/06/10 21:37
Chapter: In Which Lily gets to Wear the Lucky Duck Pyjamas

She's having twin babyz!!!!!

Reviewer: boqiex3
Date: 08/06/10 13:53
Chapter: In Which Lily gets to Wear the Lucky Duck Pyjamas

TWINS! I was NOT excpeting that! Keep up the good work! Excited for mummy's and daddy's reactions!!

Reviewer: muggler180
Date: 08/06/10 8:20
Chapter: In Which Lily gets to Wear the Lucky Duck Pyjamas

great chapter I can not wait for the next chapter

Reviewer: nevilleherosnape
Date: 08/06/10 7:15
Chapter: In Which Lily gets to Wear the Lucky Duck Pyjamas

Mum's gonna freak! Can't wait!

Reviewer: September December
Date: 08/06/10 0:45
Chapter: In Which Lily gets to Wear the Lucky Duck Pyjamas

Hahaha! Twins, that insane. Poor Lily. :P

Reviewer: locanena
Date: 08/05/10 23:38
Chapter: In Which Lily gets to Wear the Lucky Duck Pyjamas

love it!

Reviewer: Abigail Weasley
Date: 08/05/10 23:34
Chapter: In Which Lily gets to Wear the Lucky Duck Pyjamas

TWINS? Really? That has to overwhelming, but I can see how it can happen: twins run in both their families. Why do I have a feeling the 'lucky ducky pajamas' had something to do with doubling the baby count? (I know better than to think that, but it was just a thought that crossed my mind while reading.)

I really like this story. It's definitely different than what you normally read in Harry Potter verse. In fact, if I didn't know any better, given the lack of insight on the subject I'd almost swear every character remained a virgin until marriage, but as hormonal teenagers are it can't always happen that way and you're proving just that.

I really love Lily's personality, her voice. It's not far from how I perceive myself, so it's definitely something I can relate to, personally.

The only thing I really disliked about it was how far a long it was until the discovery of her pregnancy. Not all symptoms happen to every woman during every pregnancy, but in general the signs usually start appearing right away. I can see her ignore some things like tender breasts and cramps, but usually morning sickness starts earlier than three months. That, and a miss period would have been a wake up call for me, but again, that's just me.

Keep writing!

You must login (register) to review.
Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.

We have stories and authors in this archive.


Choose Theme:
Epithalamium by Squibstress Professors
Minerva McGonagall is a bright, talented witch with dreams of becoming the first...
A Ship to Wreck by FloreatCastellum 6th-7th Years
And good God, under starry skies we are lostAnd into the breach we got tossedAnd...
The Apothecary and the Bane by Icarus Unbound 1st-2nd Years
The apothecary receives a visitor in the wizarding slums of London.
Twilit Confessions by ahattab33 3rd-5th Years
After returning from Australia with the Grangers, Ron realises the moment to...
Soul Sister by hestiajones 1st-2nd Years
Ted and Andromeda have just eloped. So, they dance. A songfic featuring...
Time and Tide by minnabird 6th-7th Years
Filius has seen her all his life: the Woman. She has been drifting through time...
Footprints in the Sand by Equinox Chick 6th-7th Years
It was a summer like any other for Danny. He worked at his parents' Bed and...
Consolation by Gmariam 3rd-5th Years
For years, Remus Lupin found comfort in the arms of Rosmerta Richardson...until...
Dangerous Liaisons by eternalangel 6th-7th Years
It was a dangerous game she was playing; Dorcas Meadowes knew it, but the exhilaration...