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Reviews For A Moment, A Love

Name: Filius_Flitwick101 (Signed) · Date: 11/27/10 5:01 · For: In Which Lily gets to Wear the Lucky Duck Pyjamas
eeeee!!! M on tenterhooks!


Name: CoolCatElly (Signed) · Date: 09/09/10 17:43 · For: In Which Lily gets to Wear the Lucky Duck Pyjamas
O.o

She's having TWINS!?

That was a big surprise. I felt so sorry for everyone here. You definitely sorted out any character problems you were having, because I couldn't find anything wrong with Ly.

xxx


Name: summerlily42 (Signed) · Date: 09/08/10 18:41 · For: In Which Lily gets to Wear the Lucky Duck Pyjamas
Did not expect that one!!! Nice surprise! Hm.. I could see a miscarriage going on somewhere, just to add drama. Or what about Lysander leaving her? No! I don't want that to happen! haha nice job.


Name: RupertsPheonix (Signed) · Date: 08/16/10 14:58 · For: In Which Lily gets to Wear the Lucky Duck Pyjamas
i like this quite a bit. :) I'll be interested to see everyone's response (family-wise, that is). :)

Good job!


Name: h_vic (Signed) · Date: 08/14/10 13:07 · For: In Which Lily gets to Wear the Lucky Duck Pyjamas
I must have said this before, dear, but you write teenagers so convincingly. Your characters and the interactions between them feel very real. You've done a good job with Lily: she's likeable yet flawed and a product of her family yet her own person. I really like how she has her mother's fire and her father's disregard for rules (although just sometimes that can feel a little forced, I think, like in the opening chapter with the nail varnish where it seems odd that she wouldn't at least get why McGonagall would have an issue with it; I like it when her rule-breaking has a purpose like getting alcohol from Hogsmeade, but the way you've set her character up, delinquency for its own sake doesn't quite seem to suit her, to me at least).

The story is well constructed to in the way that you introduce the readers to Lily and her life and make us care about her before you bring in the issue of pregnancy, because so many fics dealing with things like teen pregnancy just rush in headlong without really setting up a strong foundation for the characters.

I love the relationships with her friends. They feel real, and affectionate and unforced. I'm a little less convinced so far though by her relationship with Lysander. I feel like I haven't got a particularly clear idea of who he is yet. He's a nice boy, but beyond that, I'm not really sure I can see any real depth to him at the moment or what makes the pair of them tick as a couple. Part of it may be because, as yet, I can't see what makes him Luna's son rather than just a random next gen character, if that makes sense.

A lot of that may just be due to him having not had much 'screen time' yet, and I'm sure that he'll become more fleshed out as the story progresses. I have to say though that he did feel a lot more human after seeing his reaction to Lily telling him she's pregnant – just swearing seemed a very genuine and likely response.

You've certainly succeeded in hooking me with this story. I find myself wondering if they can make it work (and I'll definitely keep reading to find out) and particularly how their parents will react (I'm particularly intrigued to see Luna's reaction because I just can't picture it at all).

I think it's a brave plot to take on, because it's such a difficult situation to relate to in so many ways, but I think you are doing a great job so far, Jen.

~Hannah


Name: fairy_lights27 (Signed) · Date: 08/06/10 21:37 · For: In Which Lily gets to Wear the Lucky Duck Pyjamas
GASP
She's having twin babyz!!!!!


Name: boqiex3 (Signed) · Date: 08/06/10 13:53 · For: In Which Lily gets to Wear the Lucky Duck Pyjamas
TWINS! I was NOT excpeting that! Keep up the good work! Excited for mummy's and daddy's reactions!!


Name: muggler180 (Signed) · Date: 08/06/10 8:20 · For: In Which Lily gets to Wear the Lucky Duck Pyjamas
great chapter I can not wait for the next chapter


Name: nevilleherosnape (Signed) · Date: 08/06/10 7:15 · For: In Which Lily gets to Wear the Lucky Duck Pyjamas
Mum's gonna freak! Can't wait!


Name: September December (Signed) · Date: 08/06/10 0:45 · For: In Which Lily gets to Wear the Lucky Duck Pyjamas
Hahaha! Twins, that insane. Poor Lily. :P


Name: locanena (Signed) · Date: 08/05/10 23:38 · For: In Which Lily gets to Wear the Lucky Duck Pyjamas
love it!


Name: Abigail Weasley (Signed) · Date: 08/05/10 23:34 · For: In Which Lily gets to Wear the Lucky Duck Pyjamas
TWINS? Really? That has to overwhelming, but I can see how it can happen: twins run in both their families. Why do I have a feeling the 'lucky ducky pajamas' had something to do with doubling the baby count? (I know better than to think that, but it was just a thought that crossed my mind while reading.)

I really like this story. It's definitely different than what you normally read in Harry Potter verse. In fact, if I didn't know any better, given the lack of insight on the subject I'd almost swear every character remained a virgin until marriage, but as hormonal teenagers are it can't always happen that way and you're proving just that.

I really love Lily's personality, her voice. It's not far from how I perceive myself, so it's definitely something I can relate to, personally.

The only thing I really disliked about it was how far a long it was until the discovery of her pregnancy. Not all symptoms happen to every woman during every pregnancy, but in general the signs usually start appearing right away. I can see her ignore some things like tender breasts and cramps, but usually morning sickness starts earlier than three months. That, and a miss period would have been a wake up call for me, but again, that's just me.

Keep writing!


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