MuggleNet Fan Fiction
Harry Potter stories written by fans!
(Signed) · Date:
06/17/10 22:33 · For:
Nice! I love it!
Author's Response: Thank you!
(Signed) · Date:
06/15/10 17:05 · For:
while rather brief, there is a lot of good in this story. I think you have the emotions right, on Harry's side, at least, and maybe there is enough of something in Snape to smile just a little bit at Harry at this point. I like the way you did not explain too much about the alternative action with Snape and Voldemort, and now that you mention it I have to wonder why a man with a Basilisk and a snake didn't go after a dragon as well in canon...
Your diction in the first few paragraphs is not as smooth as in the later ones. I think the prose quality improves as the story goes on.
You also ended it well. And Bless you for not making Snape too warm and fuzzy to be believable. Or Harry too eloquent.
Author's Response: Thank you so much for the constructive feedback. I really appreciate it. Originally the story I wrote was much longer, but I wanted to keep everything as believable as possible with respect to J.K. Rowling's original characters. I could not thus create a longer story because of the context of the Deathly Hallows. This was extremely difficult to write because of Snape's personality. While originally I did not think that it would be possible to write a story about Snape and Harry with anything except animostiy, readers really don't have any idea of how Snape would behave towards Harry after the war. Thus, this is the element that rescued the storyline. Nonetheless, had his smile been any more than 'barely discernable' it would never have been believable, and I am so gratified that you found it so. Thank you!