I can't believe I haven't reviewed this! *hits herself in the head* This story has just been lingering in my mine for like two days now and I just had to read it again! Well, I read it like three times for that's not the point...

And you have to do a second Andy Carlton story! I will volunteer to draw them again! Please! *jumps up and down like a maniac*

Anyway, I've reviewing for your awesomeness! Also that I love Andy and Rooney.

Cookies and cream,

August

Author's Response: AUGUST!



Nice to see a review from my favourite artist. :D Glad you liked it. I was despairing. eek! OCs are a hard sell. >.> BUT! I will think of another story for Andy. He's a cool kid. Or, you can read my Florean Fortesccue fic. Hehehe!



~Natalie.

What a unique style this fic is written in…but it works. The shift from past to present tense was slightly unnerving, but I very quickly realized that Andy went from going, “See, this is what you need to know,” to, “I am deciding to pocket my wand and I’m ringing the doorbell and this is happening RIGHT NOW.” I think the only reason I kind of blinked a bit was because the transition happened within a sentence rather than at the break right below it. But the present tense for the rest of the story was nice.

The words and tone that was used for the rest of the story was phenomenal. It captured this spirit of young adolescent boys, and for some reason, I pictured it taking place in like, the sixties and seventies. I have no idea if that’s what you were going for, but the bullies wearing the baseball caps, and the language Andy used in his own internal dialogue just gave me that sense. I think the most vivid image was Roony showing up with his Lab, in the park, and the “Stuff it, or your friend gets it!” sort of talk. Am I making any sense? Oh well, that’s just the impression I got. It very much felt like it was not written by, but written from the POV of a 12 year-old boy, which is hard to do sometimes, so kudos!

I wasn’t sure where the story was going in the beginning, but it became very easy to follow once the story settled in the present tense, and it moved along after the first conversation with Roony. I’ve got to be honest and say I’m not sure all the background information (like, “Hey, this is what a Muggle is!”) at the beginning was strictly necessary for the story, but it did help give the sense of his age and his enthusiasm. And I do feel that the rest of the background information (hey, I am Muggle-born, my best friend is not, etc.) about Andy himself was.

As with all of your stories, the characters, even through EVERY SINGLE CHARACTER (with the exception of the brief mention of Fortescue) were completely original, were all those that became developed and fully characterized by the end of it. I had a grasp on not only Roony and Andy, but their relationship, and I would have read more chapters in this story if you had decided to continue it. I already knew I liked Andy from reading about Fortescue, and I think I made the same comment on that story. You have an incredible knack for that, and I personally believe it stems from choosing these brilliant moments that help wonderfully illustrate their characters through their actions and interactions in addition to their words. This is no different – the boys worked together impulsively to prank the bully, and it helped them build a rift in their friendship. I was giggling and didn’t stop reading to write down anything for this review because quite frankly I didn’t want to.

Right at the end, you have Roony “blushed” rather than “blushes”…I think it should be the latter as everything up to this point is present-tense. And the last sentence is kind of awkward…it might read better as “We have each other back” rather than “got”, but neither of these detracts from the story in the least.

Overall, my twin, fantastic story and it was simply a joy to read! You are putting out too many stories for me to keep up with! :)

~Amanda

Author's Response: Hey twin!

I knew that tense shift was going to be confusing, but that is how I wanted to write it. I wrote the fic as though Andy was telling you what was going through his mind, just like you pointed out. One minute, he was bored; the other, he wanted you to know what had happened the previous year.

I also debated a lot over whether it was necessary for Andy to give us all that background info, but then, I decided that for someone like Andy, who was a bit like Colin Creevey, he’d be pretty enthusiastic about it all. And then, just like a twelve-year-old, he would lose interest in it, and then think about how bored he was.

I’m relieved you thought the tone of the story suited adolescents. I tried hard on that one. :D As for the baseball cap, hm…I had it beta-ed by Carole, and she reckons that in the nineties, baseball caps were quite common. Besides, Big Joe needed one to hide his abominable hair. Lol.

Thanks for pointing out the blushes/blushed part. Eep! That was an error. And thanks for the wonderful review! I touched the friendship between the two a bit in the other fic, and I knew I wanted to write a story on that. However, the poor readership and abysmal number of reviews made me wonder if I’d gone somewhere wrong. But this made me cheer up a great deal!

Love, Natalie.