Hi there! I don't know if what I'm about to say is good news or bad news to you. But its definitely bad news to me.
My self-esteem just went down the drain. You see, I've been trying, really trying to make a next generation fan fiction. I've already titled it 'Catch a falling star' but then this-- this absolute promising story comes up. I mean, how could you?!
Lol, am I going too far? Sorry about that. Anyway, I have to say I love the way you write. It's not awkward or repetitive. Good job! :) I don't have a way with words but I just really, really like how you wrote Albus. But I highly disagree with having science as his nemesis! You know why? Because I LOVE IT. I breathe it. I sleep with it. Har, har.
You'll update fast, right?
Oh, no! Don't let me kill your own story! Last September, I said something along these lines in a review of my own, and the author of that fic told me that I should write my story no matter what, because every story should be told. I'm going to pass that along to you. It doesn't matter how good you think it is or isn't. In fact, in my own first story, I got a pretty bad review after my second chapter, but I didn't stop writing. Now, nine months later, I have 16 stories published on this site, one of them actually longer than Goblet of Fire, and numerous short stories.
Keep at it. I guarantee that you'll never be sorry that you did.
I do try hard not to repeat words and phrases, but still not seem like I'm talking out of a thesaurus. It takes a lot of practise, but like all writing skills, you'll learn by doing.
Albus is my absolute favourite character. Even though he spent a grand total of ten minutes in the series, I know him in my mind like people know close friends or even siblings. Even though it will probably take a couple of years to finish this story, with how long it's gearing up to be, this was definitely one tale that needed to be told. I adore Next-Generation, as it's the proverbial final frontier in the Potterverse, and I'm really glad that you enjoy my rendition of this untapped resource.
And as for science, I love science, but Al is more of a maths man in my head. He likes clear cut things with a definite answer that he just needs to find. This is why, further in his life, he pursues a career that allows him to utilise that particular strength of his.
And as for updates, this is one story that I'm writing as I go. I've never done that before, as my last story, I wrote half of it before I ever started submitting. I think once every two weeks or so is probably a decent timeframe for updates, possibly three weeks, depending on how many other projects I have going on.
Thanks for reading and reviewing, and I'm always excited to have new readers aboard. Take care and happy reading.
Wonderful chapter! I can't wait to read the rest. However, I'm confused -
"He could not even count how many of his primary school classmates had assumed that he was smart or talented at anything because his dad was Harry Potter, but, alas, he was not. "
Wouldn't he have gone to a Muggle primary school, as he mentions it at the very beginning? So his classmates would have been Muggle children; they would not have known about Albus' family's fame?
One of the things that I always saw as a plothole in the Potterverse, or at least something that was never really brought up, is how wizard children learn how to read, write, do basic maths, and so forth. Plus, it just seems dangerous and impractical to send wizard children to a Muggle school. Therefore, I have concocted a remedy for that.
Wizard children have their own primary school! They learn the basic subjects that most people need to know, like reading, writing, maths, science, and even basic magic control so they don't maim themselves with accidental magic. It may not have existed when the Trio was at Hogwarts, but I believe that it should exist. Henceforth, in my personal universe, it does. It gives children the same opportunity to build social skills with other kids their age without risking injury or exposure of the magical world to Muggles.
Hope that's cleared up, and I think I'll make an addendum in the Chapter Notes, just in case the inference isn't clear enough.
Thanks for reviewing, and I hope you enjoy the rest of the story (when I write it, lol).
Yay! I'm really looking forward to this fic. :D I think it's an excellent premise, and you've characterised the three kids just wonderfully. Especially Lily - I've always pictured her as the most spoiled of the three, and it would definitely make her a bit bratty. And being a middle child myself, I can definitely identify with Albus. I like how you've made them just like typical children who are horrible to each other - it bothers me when authors make the Potter kids all kind and sweet and best friends to each other.
This is going to be VoJP compliant, isn't it? I'm already excited to see the R/S, even though I know it's going to be mostly Albus/unrequited love. >.>
I love the title, as well - it's one of those ones that I wish I had thought of first. XD
This is a bit of a hopeless review, but I couldn't not give you one after such a promising first chapter. I can't wait to read the rest!
I have preconceived notions about each of the Potter children, and I won't delude myself into thinking that most children (especially other people's children) are heathenistic lil bastards. These three are no different. James is an absolute terror until he's in his early 20s (aka - when he grows up and has someone to set him straight), and Lily is a bit of a princess. I guess that Harry probably spoils the children because he had nothing as a child, and Ginny does as well because she grew up so poor. That makes for an entitled ass of an eldest son and for a 'me me me' baby girl. Albus, though, is the one in the middle that just lets the sibs have what they want. This predisposes him to bad influences and introverted behaviour.
And yes, it will be VoJP compliant, so there will be some heavy drama before the ships in that story surface here. I had about a half-dozen plot bunnies about this particular period of time, so instead of writing a few short fics, I'm just going to do one ginormous epic one. It'll take a couple years to finish this story, but I think I will just because I feel like it's a story that must be told.
The title...lol. I just scrolled through the prompts to see if I got any inspiration. That popped into my head, and the alternatives were worse. Hence the birth of a (hopefully so) legend.
Thanks for reading, and I hope it can exceed your expectations.
Lovely start to what I'm sure will be a lovely fic! I need a new series to follow and I think I have just found it! Looking forward to seeing more of
this, Ive been looking for a good next gen fic for ages. Thanks for an awesome chappy, I will try to review all of your chapters. :)
Yay, another reader!
I'm a pretty faithful updater. Since the first seven chapters are for an activity on the beta boards, the updates will come fairly fast, but after that, it'll settle down to about one every couple of weeks. I hope you're down for a long haul, because this one will probably be upwards of 50 chapters. I adore Albus Potter as a character, so shaping his youth is something that I look forward to doing very much between other projects.
Thanks for reading, and I look forward to further reviews. :D
Hey Jess, this is a nice little start. It doesn't bother me a bit that you don't use all the dialogue from the epilogue... how boring would that be? We've already read it, right? This was just right to keep canon-compliant and still open the window of Albus' head to us.
I like the metaphor of the aquarium--Harry looking right into his son's mind. Really nice.
I was sad when the chapter was over... now we have to wait to see where the anxious lad will end up. ;) Really nice.
Thank you. :)
I didn't want to use most of the dialogue in the epilogue, because, frankly, it's probably my least favourite part of all the books. It has the feel of fan fiction almost, and I was fairly certain that I could maintain its spirit without boring everyone to tears. I know, it seems wrong for Harry to use Legilimency on his children, but that's only because, down the road, he's going to teach them how to use it for themselves. He has a marked parenting style in my mind, and it has all to do with teaching them the things that he wished he'd known at their age.
I'm glad you like it, and it's probably going to be a really long story (maybe even up to 50 chapters), but it'll probably be at a once per two weeks pace. Thanks for reading.