I thought it was very good
It was a lovely little story and I love the way that your James seemed so child-like and almost innocent. However I do have to comment that this story could of and should have been a lot shorter, it was a great, fantastic plot, but there wasn't really anything else there. If you could strip it down, make it shorter, I think it would be even better. Really nice job.
ohhh! This is good! Great job! ;)
Good first chapter! But wasn't it a little short even for a prologue? Still, 10/10
Awesome story!! Very original idea, you don't see to many original HP fanfics, they're all more or less the same. Great story! :)
Thats a kind of sad story...but still very good...Keep writing more stories!!
nice fic so far, read your info too-français, eh ? Jour agréable ŕ vous, nutshell. story-10
Aww! Too bad about what happened...then again...If harry got hold of a time turner back to the marauders age and killed peter...nah...maybe...was I rambling again? Nice story!!!!10
I loved this story, it nearly made me cry :) I also loved 'The Ever Secret Diary of Sirius Black' and I hope you write more chapters for it soon!!
Pretty good story.
Loved it! Hope you write more stories in the future
Author's Response: Wow, thanx hun. Check out The Ever Secret Diary of Sirius Black for more. It's loaded with junk like this. ttfn -Ama
Hello again Ami! Sorry to nit-pick but I just noticed a few spelling errors: "the Wuidditch pitch" -> "the Quidditch pitch" "the Maraduer’s nightly" -> "the Marauder's nightly" "from bellow the" -> "from below the" This chapter was very good in the way it described James' feelings to seeing the older Sirius. Plus James' hope to die before the age of forty made me feel sad just thinking about the horrible fate that is in store for our beloved Marauders. Personally I don't think you could or should add anything more to this story, you ended it in exactly the right place so putting anything more in would probably detract from what James had done and gone through. So this is a very good story, I've told a friend about your stories but she is lazy as anything in regards to reviews so I shall probably have to persuade her to do them, if that's what you want :) ttyl -Mic
Author's Response: Thanx for the nit picking, really helped alot. Luv you lots Mic! -Ama
Once again, very good. A few things that I would like to point out: "“Mums the word Minerva dear.” Smirked James." I think that it would look/ read better if you wrote it- "Mums the word Minerva dear," smirked James. I also think 'the forbidden forest' is written as 'the Forbidden Forest' because it's an actual place name, but I could be wrong... This chapter was well written, so because of this I was feeling frustrated at McGonagall's disbelief of James too! Haha, this was good because it made me feel more from where James was coming from and I understood his actions and words more.
Very nice opening to the story, now I want to go and read about what is the reasoning behind James getting a time turner- I definately wouldn't have trust him with that! Nice comment Kettleburn made to McGonagall about her getting fooled by Sirius' "angelic face" but you already know how that I like Sirius, and any mention of him is a good one ;) The description of the cold morning and the dialogue between the two professors was very descriptive and believable, hope you keep it up in the next chapter!
That was really cool!
please keep writing its really good!
An excellent idea for a story. I was happy to see a different sort of storyline. The way you've written it (I don't know if this was done purposely or not) seems to me to buld dramatic tension. So, far I like it(add more please!)and I can't wait to see what happens next. But, I, personally, think it would be interesting to have a little more insight on James, possibly? Just a suggestion. Keep up the good work!
Interesting concept, and a good start. Please continue! One thing: McGonagall seems to speak a bit too casually at times; I think of her as a bit more formal...
Author's Response: I'll try to up McGonagall's vocabulary, tis a hard thing to enhance for one of such... je ne sais pas... hmm. Oh well. Hope you like my next chappie.