Oh, poor Hermione....Good story, though. It explains why she hates getting in trouble (Miss "Killed Or Worse Expelled"...no wonder she's always on Ron and Harry.)
P.S. She's my favorite. Hermione, I mean.
He he! That made me laugh! Very good! Often people overlook the fact that Hermione probably did have a panic attack if she got in trouble before school, which is why she was so uptight at the start of first-year!
SO, so so good and funny! It was hilarious! I loved it so much!
HAHA this was SO FUNNY. The phrase "eleven-year-old" was slightly overused, but as it was only to cut down on the amount of "Hermione"s it's understandable.
So.Funny. Oh and by the way? Brilliant. I always noticed that gaping plot hole, too. I'm glad someone did something about it--not least somebody with an expansive, and amazingly humorous, imagination for the situation.
Author's Response: Wow, I seem to have made quite a fan of you, and I always love me some praise!
I've always been curious about this anomoly as well... Like James being Head Boy, while Lupin was the Prefect, I always thought that this was a Flint.
Your explanation is very believable and hyperventilating with fear over having broken a rule, is just like Hermione.
I'm not so sure that I can see two full-grown wizards being that scared of a witch who hasn't even started Hogwarts yet, but that's just my personal feeling.
I would have liked to see some sort of foundation for the way Hermione acted on the train. In your fic she decides never to break a rule again, which is just like her. However, I can't help but wonder why she would as good as brag about it on the train? She didn't seem ashamed then.
Could you explain why Hermione thought that they wouldn't take her alive while she didn't know that the visitors were from the Ministry? I was unsure about this...
'... and ven one for her parents entitles ...' instead of 'then' and 'entitled' were among the typing errors I noticed. We all make them. Also, I think it's rigid, not riged, but you should check.
The idea of McGonagall turning the table into a St. Bernard is hillarious. I wonder if she has an affinity for them? -grins-
Thanks for an enjoyable story!
Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it, typos and all!
Hey Molly! I really liked this story. It's a good portrayal of Hermione in her childhood. Her characterisation is good-- I like the part where she practices her piano for exactly twenty minutes a day. So typical! And it's nice to know that Hermione, like the rest of us, does get into trouble once in a while. The ending was particularly cute, with Hermione going into her mentally blank state. I would imagine her doing that if she broke a rule without intending to. And this was the law. LOL.
However, I do have a few nitpicks. There's a particular paragraph where you seem to have made a few mistakes.
Hermione exactly what they were talking about.
I think you have forgotten to type a 'knew' over here.
She remember they well...
You have two typos here. It should be she remembered them well.
And lastly-- ...they had been laying, gathering dust...
I think that should be 'lying'.
I guess you should just do a bit of a scrutiny check on the story for typos. Otherwise, it's wonderful! :)
Author's Response: That's for the advice. I'll have to fix it all.
Haha, that was fun to read.
I had wondered about that plot hole too, but I just assumed that Hermione was let off because she didn't know til the end of the year that it was illigal.
I don't know if Hermione would have reacted that strongly- I mean later in the series she breaks thousands of rules and most likely several laws and she doesn't seem overly upset. But I suppose when one is eleven... I know I was afraid of law officers when I was eleven and I didn't ever break the law!
There are several places where you forgot to put in a word.Example: upon see her father’s utterly perfect, you forgot to put in the word glasses. I could still understand what you meant but it was a little confusing. I do that too sometimes, so no biggie, but I just thought I'd point it out.
Altogether it was a thouroughly enjoyable read. I loved reading your work.Thank you for writing it! And for sharing it with the rest of the world.
Author's Response: I am a bit embarrassed about how many typos this story has. It was my first story without a beta, and I am thinking of getting a beta to help me edit after the fact.
First, thank you for sharing an entertaining story with us! I can certainly see this happening.
Two points, though:
1.) I find it hard to believe that Hermione is the only Muggleborn witch to have attempted magic before reaching Hogwarts. In fact, I would think that Muggleborns would be PARTICULARLY prone to it, as the entire issue likely seems very exciting, and they are unlikely to know about the Statute of Secrecy.
2.) There was one rather serious typo: "and you certainly are going to be sent to prison,” Mrs. Jans said in a frightened..." I believe you might want to add a not in there - "you certainly are not".
Overall, a good story!
Author's Response: Yeah! Time for rebutal! Let's see...first, just because a little kid has a wand doesn't mean they know how to use. And J.K. has mentioned that Hermione is one of the most powerful witches in her generations. Maybe successful wandwork before actual education is quite rare. And I also agree that Hermione was unlikely the first case of this, but more likely that Hermione is just the first case of such a sitution during the time the two Ministry officials have been employed. It's more a rhetoric thing than anything. As to the typo, I will fix that right away!
Hahaha you are so imaginative! thats probably it of course.. what was i thinking? :)
Author's Response: Ah, plotholes upon plotholes upon plotholes! And so many more to go!
this was a very cute story except for one thing... witches and wizards who are not yet at Hogwarts are allowed to do magic! it says so in the Deathly Hallows. (Lily and Snape) The ministry only keeps track once your at hogwarts! fred and george tried to perform the unbreakable vow on Ron when he was 5.. fred and george must have been about 7. or when they turned his teddy bear into a spider at the age of 3.. fred and george were only 5 at the time. but good story!~!
Author's Response: Well, now I has more things to think about. If wizarding children really have this small window of oppurtunity where they can use magic without punishment, can't you see kids from wizarding families taking complete and total advantage of this. Even the older siblings could pay their siblings to use spells for them. I feel like the Ministry of Magic would have figured this out by the time of the Harry Potter books. Maybe there is some sort of temporary tracking spell just to keep track of the wand before the actual Hogwarts tracker is placed. Maybe the wands themselves have tracking spells placed on them when eleven-year-olds buy them that wear off by September 1st, when the real Ministry tracker takes hold. This plot hole is a lot more complicated than previously thought.
thanks for writing this! I always did wonder how hermione hadn't gotten in trouble for doing magic before first year :)
Author's Response: Yes, now how many are left at this point?
Cute! I liked it. I always wondered too how Hermione got away with magic outside of school.
Author's Response: I know! But I suppose now I have to write a story for every plot hole in the series!