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Reviews For No Contest

Name: Trucker (Signed) · Date: 04/03/10 13:26 · For: No Contest
I've never been so tempted to steal a paragraph as I am the one about Grief. Wow!

And Hermione's recognition that she had actually been a friend to Fred and missed him for herself... are you a grief counselor? So much wisdom in such a short piece!

Author's Response: I laughed out loud at your question (a dark, ironic kind of laugh). I am not a grief counselor, but I have kept a few busy over the years. I will own up to having a lot of experience in the area of grief, which I'm sure is why I am often drawn toward writing about it. And now that you mention it, it might explain the George kick I've been on lately... hmm. Hermione's thoughts on the subject are just based on how things have seemed to me, going through them. I'm glad you felt it rang true, though. Thanks for the review!

Name: Gmariam (Signed) · Date: 04/01/10 19:18 · For: No Contest
Lovely! That was just so sweet, so heartfelt. Excellent writing! It really flowed well, and there was a great balance between description and dialogue. You captured your characters' grief perfectly with both their thoughts and their actions, and knew exactly when to throw in a lighter moment. This feels like canon, and I really, really enjoyed reading it. Good luck in the challenge! ~Gina :)

Author's Response: Thanks so much, Gina. I tend to struggle a bit in the description area, so I'm glad you think it balanced out all right. "Feels like canon" ...that really makes my day! Thanks again for taking the time to respond. I'm glad you liked it.

Name: nevilleherosnape (Signed) · Date: 03/31/10 14:26 · For: No Contest
*Tears* and smiles!

Author's Response: Thanks!

Name: Kerichi (Signed) · Date: 03/31/10 13:49 · For: No Contest

You're not a poser, you're a writer of a lovely story, in a lump-in-your-throat, misty-smile sort of way.

I enjoyed your descriptions, from the vivid sunset to the chair stamped with George's personality. I found it very realistic and touching that Hermione would transition from feeling Fred's loss for others to realizing her own personal sense of loss. There are many levels of friendship, and although she and Fred weren't close, they were still friends. He touched her life and she misses him. 

Hermione's realization about grief was moving. The only thing that jarred was the tense switch. The pov is third person, so it should've been "grief was" instead of "grief is."

Another thing I noticed was the dual use of "yard" in the first paragraph. I think if you edited yard to "garden" the first few times, and then changed "stood a couple of yards back" to "metres back" it would remove any possibility of confusion and, as a bonus, read more British. :D

Hermione worrying for Ron and him worrying for her, and the way they both took action was very sweet, as was the ending. 

Thank you for ending with a smile. :)


Author's Response: Thank-you so much for your suggestions; I have made the necessary edits and agree that it now reads much better. I'm glad you suggested "metres." We don't use the metric system for measurement much over here in the U.S. and I don't know if that is a foot or a mile. ;) Thanks so much for this lovely review. I am quite a fan of your writing, so it means that much more.

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