Really great writing.
Wow. This is so beautiful.
You capture the spirit of the characters from the books so amazingly!
Author's Response: Thank you!
About halfway through -- one of the best descriptions of grief I've ever read. Sorry that you also know that's how grief is. Amazing that despite that, the story is hopeful and healing.
Author's Response: Thanks so much for the kind words. I think one of the good things about our own baggage is that it's a truthful place from which to write. I'm glad you enjoyed the story--thanks for taking the time to leave a review!
That was amazing! Loved how Hermione was worried about what Fred thought about her and all the memories she had. It was such a great idea and you had me crying when she was talking to George and when she was with Ron! You are a really great writer.
Author's Response: Aw, thanks so much. I'm glad you enjoyed the story, even if it did make you cry. :( Thanks for reading and taking the time to review. ~Lori
While wandering around the world of Harry Potter fan fiction, I came across this. I just have to say what a wonderful little gem it was. Thanks.
Author's Response: Thank you so much. I appreciate you taking the time to leave a review. :)
Why did Fred have to die! I tried to avoid thinking about it when it happened in the book, but your story had me bawling like a baby. I'm glad my roommate wasn't here, because I'm not sure I could have explained why I was crying so hard :)
I am very impressed in how accurate George is in this story. He can still make others smile- he's not ok yet, but he will be in time, I really love that the "sparkle of mischief" in his eye hasn't died for good.
I can understand where Hermione's coming from, feeling like she doesn't deserve to be hurting, but that she missed out on what could have been by being too uptight.
I think the subject of grief was handled very well, staying true to both the characters and reality. And as always, I love the way you bring the characters alive, till I can really see and feel them.
Author's Response: LOL... aw, I feel bad about you bawling like a baby. Well, sort of, but I confess it's also pretty satisfying. ;) Hehe. It's not easy to write something that evokes that kind of emotion, so it's good to know it was effective. Your trolling of my author page the last few days has really been a nice little treat for me. Thanks so much for the kind words and encouragment--I appreciate every review more than you know. Take care, and have a great weekend! ~ Lori
An Amazing story. I especially liked Hermione's conversation with George.
Author's Response: Yay, I'm so glad you liked it! Thanks.
The stuff you wrote about grief was as good and to the point as anything I've ever read on the subject.
Author's Response: Thanks you. I have a little experience with grief--glad it's proving good for something. ;) Thanks for the review!
Really beautiful story...I had tears in my eyes when Hermione and George were talking.
Author's Response: Aw, thanks so much. I'm glad to know you could connect with it. :)
Oh man, did i cry. Brilliant.
Author's Response: Thanks so much!
Author's Response: Thanks!
I think my largest decision of the day was to read or not to read a canon-based story. Of course, when canon seemed the decent thing to do for the night, your author page was one of the first that popped into my head. So, I picked a story of yours that I was fairly certain I’d never read before and clicked on it. Silly me, I found that I indeed had read this before and had just forgotten and not reviewed. For shame! However, after another close read of the story, I would dearly like to rectify that matter.
There are so many beautiful elements to this story. First off, as usual with your work, the characterisation was flawless. I don’t know if anyone has a better grasp on the Weasleys and Hermione other than JKR herself. Your use of imagery is sparkling and vivid, to the point where the tangible was being moulded into the abstract, yet they melded perfectly. And, naturally, the sheer magnetism of your writing style is so wonderful and engaging. I can’t tell you how jealous I am of your ability to wrap me up into a word blanket and show me this little slice of what cannot be anything other than pure fact.
First off, the most stunning part of the whole story was the melancholy voice that underlined Hermione’s narrative. It really brought out so many facets of her character. One thing that I think people miss about Hermione is that she does have the ability to laugh at herself when she knows she’s being difficult. For instance, in SS/PS, she told Harry that he was a great wizard — greater than her books and cleverness, specifically. And, just like then, in this story, when she saw herself as more of a hindrance to the twins than a friend, it reminded me of that very canon instance.
Another brilliant part of how well you have drawn her was when she observed that she wasn’t sure where she really had stood with Fred. Most people would have assumed that they were friends because she saw Fred more than 90% of her classmates. Yet she, ever sharp individual that she is, had the ability to see that their interactions weren’t indicative of the common view of friendship. Just like when Hermione noticed that Cho spent a lot of time crying and upset and why that was, when Harry, her boyfriend, didn’t particularly notice or have much idea. As in that case, she had a similar crisis about her true place in Fred’s life and in his death. While it was true that it was moot in the end, it fits her so well that she questioned it at all.
George in this story was just so unmistakably him. Every line, every quip, every gesture, just spoke so much of how I saw him in the series. Yet, you managed to postulate such a convincing scenario about how he might have mourned Fred, using both what we know for certain and that little person inside your head that just seems to get the Weasleys. In particular, where he said, “I have magic powers” when Hermione asked how he was able to make her feel better in her grief when he was so very stricken himself, I totally wanted to giggle and hug George all at once. The way you structured his attitude and demeanour during the rest of the story really gave him life and body when he said this.
Even the role-players in the story were fabulous. In particular, I think Ron was well done. He was in just the right place that he should’ve been at this point after the Battle. He was just starting to build on his feelings and relationship with Hermione while simultaneously carrying around the albatross that is watching a sibling being murdered. From Hermione’s perspective, I can actually see that battle in his head, the one that is happy that they’re finally going somewhere besides in circles, but feeling sick for thinking he was allowed a bit of joy without Fred there to share it with. Every subliminal message, every buried meaning, built this very well, and in the end when he was freaking out over her being gone after dark, showed how masterfully you did this. So, so good! And even Harry’s brief appearance was good, because he’s in his own little world and has every faith in Hermione to be able to keep herself safe and sound. It fit splendidly.
Your gorgeous use of characters almost made me forget about your utter drool-worthy use of imagery. Every descriptive sentence built toward the story and tied into the theme in some way, with not a wasted word. I appreciate this quality so much because it is something I wish I could do. So often, it’s tempting to use that poetic, sing-song language to put surface emotion onto weak prose (and I am guilty as charged), but for you to super glue it to the actual plot itself is pure deliciousness. In the first paragraph, you use vivid, bright colours to describe the vista, and then there was that alarmingly lurid chair, both of which were things that associated my brain to the twins.
I freely admit that, while the summary uses the phrase ‘rambunctious joy’, the eleven letters part made my mind quickly assume that the story was AU and that Harry had died. I’ve no idea why, but it’s actually what hooked me onto the story. But when I saw that it was about Hermione and Fred’s dynamics and how she saw herself, it was so much better than what I had expected. I mean, how many people think about how Fred saw Hermione? How many actually take the time to explore the characters’ relationship in a story and enrich canon so wonderfully? Well, I hope no one else does, because this story is damned near perfect in the sense of what you set out to do.
There is so much that can be said for how you wrote this story. It’s in a limited narrative, yes, but it’s so much more than that. It’s like dropping an Extendable Ear into Hermione’s head. It feels so richly and truly her, and every thought and carefully placed word adds to that. For instance, when she tried to suss out how the Weasleys saw her, since Harry was the ‘fun’ one and she the ‘responsible’ one because he used his Triwizard earnings to fund WWW. But the truly great part was next, when she still added that she’d thought she was right to do so then. It is a classic example of her logic asserting itself firmly, even though it didn’t make her the most fun or exciting person to be around. The narrative was just so indelibly her that it was fantastic.
There was one small slip-up in the voice of the following passage:
He tried to smile at this, but it was always hard hearing Fred and himself complimented as one person. It made him hurt more, but at the same time, it was a kind of comfort. George had learned one thing since May: Grief had no rules, and plenty of contradictions.
This paragraph is quite distinctly in George’s point of view, whereas the rest of the piece is all Hermione. It is a bit jarring, trying to figure out whether Hermione is a super genius about people’s emotions or if the point of view had changed. I adore the message, especially the last line that grief had no rules, but it didn’t fit into the rest of the story quite as well because of the voice slip-up. However, a little bit of jiggery pokery could easily put that as Hermione observing his facial expressions and knowing what was going on in his head. Just a suggestion.
All in all, the way you built the characters and surrounded them by such lovely prose is a testament to the brilliant author you are. I’m so glad I’m a dunce who can’t properly read a summary, or else I might not have clicked on this story first. I’m constantly amazed by how little you think of the way you write when you have stupidly beautiful things like this on your author page to prove just how wrong you are about this. Please, please never stop writing the Weasleys. I know they aren’t my favourite Potter group, but you truly do them justice. And the more people who read this story and ones like it, the better the whole Potterverse will be.
Author's Response: So, I decided I should make sure I respond to this amazing review before it's one year anniversary. The thing is, I've reread it now, am again just blown away by it, and have no idea how to respond except to say thank you, thank you, thank you. I can't tell you how many times I've felt in a slump with my writing, or been discouraged that something wasn't working out, or been bummed about not having any reviews for a month, or whatever.... and I've come straight to the review to remind myself not to give up, that there is a writer as gifted as you are, Jess, who thinks I wrote something good. I love the Weasleys and I love writing them, but I think it's always risky because they are the stars of canon and there is so much already there that it would be easy to slip up with the characterization. And when that happens, everyone can see it because we all know them so well. Thanks for what you said about my characterization here. Problems like the one you mentioned (thanks for pointing that out, btw) are easy to fix, but botching up who Hermione is... well, that's a bigger problem, isn't it? This story is a good reason to keep on writing for challenges. I would never have chosen this scenario in a hundred years, but then we had to write how a majjor canon character deals with loss, and I was on a Hermione kick at the time. (I know, when am I not on a Hermione kick? Hehe.) But who did she lose really? She lost a lot but it isn't just a person, as it would be for, say, George or Molly. I think she would be impacted by Fred's death, and I think she would wonder what she meant to him, especially as she is so surrounded by the Weasleys and the gaping hole his death would bring to their lives. It was so much fun exploring and writing this, and I never would have done so without the challenge. And though it didn't place, I find myself still rather fond of it, as its different from everything else I've written. Thank you a million times over for reading my story and for taking the time to think through it and leave such a thoughtful, encouraging, helpful review. You aren't the spew queen for nothing, and you aren't my friend for nothing either. <3
That was fantastic! I don't think I've yet read a story that made me feel...not good, I suppose, but...okay...about Fred's death. I mean, you see the happy ending where George has Angelina and the kids. And you see the different ideas people have for just how crazy George goes during the mourning process. But this really dealt with him, and not just him, getting down to what would really help them accept Fred's death. The emotion was brilliant, and I liked your characterization of Hermione. Wonderful!
Author's Response: Wow, thanks so much. This was for a challenge, actually, and the prompt said we had to write a major character dealing with the death of someone close to them. I thought the obvious choice was to write Ron or George or one of the parents grieving Fred, but then decided to try something a little different. (Any excuse to write an angsty Hermione. Hehe.) Thanks so much for reading this and taking the time to review. I'm thrilled you liked it.
Awesome! I didn't even think about what would have happened after the final battle at Hogwarts. The epilogue in DH was a bit random and out of place. Nice to have a little fill-in!
Author's Response: I love speculating on all the ways the characters could have made it from the end of the battle to the epilogue. This was for a challenge, I picked the prompt in which a major character had to deal with the loss of a loved one. Thanks so much for reading and reviewing. I'm glad you liked it. :)
I, too, am surprised it doesn`t get more reads. It`s so touching. And you`re welcome about the `Americanism`. I`m fortunate that I was born in England and still have many relatives there. I have come to know what they would say, and what they wouldn`t. cj
Author's Response: Thanks again!
Wow. Hermione was not the only one with tears pricking at the back of her eyes! I enjoyed that; I was very moved by your narrative. Only one small thing detracted from it at all, and that was George saying, "You're welcome." Brits do not usually use that phrase (unless they're like my aunt who spends enough time with my children and me to start using it now!), and might just nod, say 'no worries', or 'don't mention it'. Well done, though, despite that Americanism. cj
Author's Response: Ooh... one of my favorite kinds of crit: helping me deal with my glaring Americanisms. I'm getting better in general, but they still show up here and there. I've changed it now--thanks! And thanks for the review. I'm attached to this story, and sometimes feel sad it doesn't get as many reads. Glad you liked it!
I just love your stories about Ron and Hermione. I am new to the site and have been reading mostly Ron and Hermione stories and yours have been the best.
Author's Response: Oh, thank you so much! R/Hr are my favorite, too. Thanks for taking time to leave me a review!
i really like this one. truthfully, i never gave too much thought about the relationship between hermione and the twins. not too mention, i never really pondered the people under the humorous facade when it came to fred and george. i was close to tears actually, when i read the part when hermione realized that she cared for fred individually, and the part about grief was breathtaking. good personification! this story really made me think about how grief can transform a person, their family, and the people surrounding their family. great job!
Author's Response: I'm glad it was thought provoking. I never considered Hermione's perspective before either, to be honest. The prompt was a for a major character dealing with a a death. I wanted to do it with Fred's death, and Ron and Molly and George are the obvious choices... just felt like doing something different here. I might have chosen Harry, but didn't feel like digging into the Harry guilt... haha. Thanks for reading and reviewing. I appreciate it!
What a sweet story. I had never thought of Hermione's pov when it came to losing Fred. You did a wonderful job - well written, in canon, beautifully descriptiive. I may have to put you on my list of authors not to read at work - I ended up teary over this one! Debbie
Author's Response: Haha... don't mean to get you into trouble at work. I really hadn't thought of Hermione's experience either, to be honest. I just knew I wanted to use the "grief" prompt, and that I wanted to do something unusual. This is what came of it. Thanks for the encouraging words... I'm so glad you enjoyed it.