I can honestly say this is probably the best LilyJames fic I have ever read. I choked up several times, and this entire thing was just.. amazing. A true masterpiece.
Thank you so much for writing
Author's Response: Thanks very much! I'm so flattered -- I'm glad you liked it :)
the ending was particularly sweet. It is a lovely story and I'm very happy I tool the time to read it.
Author's Response: Thanks! I'm happy you took the time to read it, too!
This was beautifully written. I think that you got the characterization spot on with Lily and James.
It was really intersting to see Harry's life from such an abstract POV, but you did an amazing job on it.
The ending...I had to try very hard to stop myself from crying since my mom just called me into her room to show me something, and it would've looked odd if I walked in wiping my eyes and saying, "This fic I just read was so incredible it made me cry."
The description is what got me to read it, I was looking at it and I've read some of your other fics and decided to read it, you're a marvelous author.
Author's Response: Thank you so much! The ending does sort of tug on the tear ducts, I know ;) I'm glad you liked it and that the summary was able to pull you in -- summaries are always tricky balancing acts.
This story was amazing, I have actually read it a couple of time and each time I end up with tears in my eyes. I enjoy reading all your stories keep them coming.
Author's Response: Thanks very much! I'm glad you like this and all my stories -- rest assured, I don't plan on stopping any time soon :)
THAT WAS GREAT!!!!
Author's Response: Thank you!
I absolutely love your stories, and this one is perhaps my favourite one. The end never fails to give me tears in my eyes. Keep up the good work, is all I can say.
And if I could offer a suggestion for a story, I would love to read about an afterlife meeting between Lily and Molly. I have always wanted to read about such a meeting as I imagine it would be quite emotional for the both of them.
Author's Response: Thank you! :) I'm particularly fond of this one, so I'm glad you like it so much! And a meeting between Molly and Lily would certainly be an interesting fic . . .
I don’t usually go for James/ Lily fics as a rule of thumb because they seem to be rather cliché, but this one caught my eye. Yes, I’m not going to lie. I’m short one time and I prefer the one shot category when it comes to crafting reviews for others, but I landed on yours. What attracted me? Well, for starters, there is this line:
Insipid. Depraved. Vindictive. Selfish.
This is certainly a different way to present an overused idea. Grammatically, some people might jump on this line for not being that well done, but let’s forget those grammar snobs for a moment, shall we? I have to say that I prefer this line on the simple fact that it carries a message and drives it home with neither James nor Lily as appearing both angst, or, God forbid, landing straight on a pet peeve of mine, and that is presently any character as a victim of gooey romance. The beat and rhythm of this line drives it home. You’ve pulled this fish in with a single hook. Well done.
"and now he's angry that he has to pay the hospital bill because he sent my ill baby into the snow! The audacity!"
Right. I have to throw this is here as a nitpick. In Britain, they have what’s called a socialist government, or rather, if we aim to be politically correct, a monarchy. What does that mean? They do not pay healthcare bills, and everyone sort of does this thing where they ‘put a donation in a pot’, like the churches. All right, so it’s not like that, but everyone helps everyone else out universally, but I hope you get my point. That’s a poor analogy, isn’t it? My point is this: neither Vernon nor James need worry about footing the bill here.
"Honestly, love, I have a feeling that would have happened either way. Kid's a hero through and through. Like his old man, actually." She shakes her head at him, grinning, and lets her gaze fall back on her son. "Don't worry so much," he tells her. "He's asleep, safe and sound, and so are Ron and Ginny and everybody at Hogwarts — because of our boy.
"Don't worry, Lily. Be proud."
This is a passage I wanted to go after. You do this quite a few times, and it’s rather confusing. Not that I can’t follow the speech, for I can, but perhaps this would be presented better as an action. Let’s see if I can explain that better so it actually makes sense. Okay, when you consider a narrative, right, there are both description written in prose and that written in speech. I’m attacking style. As I say, it’s not grammar. Dialogue needs to be more sparingly, perhaps, to make a point where there is actually something to say, yes? Your format of ‘he said, she action, he said’ within these paragraphs makes me think that you needed a break within speech, and that’s good, but perhaps show more with actions or thoughts. Just curious as to why you choose to separate the action from James.
"And Draco — what sort of ass-cracked name is that?"
She frowns. "What sort of word is ass-cracked?"
Okay. Shouldn’t this be ‘arse-cracked’? In the second sentence, not the first one. Isn’t that a Muggle expression? Wouldn’t Lily be more familiar with it than James? It’s a funny line, though. I like how you have them question each other.
It's quiet for a long time. "Jamie," she finally says, her voice so soft and sweet it makes him ache, "Do you think he can handle this? Can he face what's waiting for him? The pain and the danger and . . . and all of it?"
I can’t see her calling him ‘Jamie’, ir any other nickname, for that matter. Oh, well, I can see her continuing the ‘Potter’ reference when she gets angry or something, but we have no evidence of this move. Inserting nicknames for the heck of it irks me. It’s not cute. It’s a carried over Marauder cliché, honestly, and they did for completely unified reasons.
"Oh, for the love of God, don't tell me you're still on that kick! Get over it, woman! He doesn't like her that way."
Ha! Beautiful. The rest of it seems to rely too heavily on dialogue, really. While that makes for a quick read, I have nothing to say, other than perhaps you needed a bit more. I expected more out of the ending, really, but it’s lovely how you followed through with pieces of the canon and mirrored them here. It feels a little rushed at the end. But, if I were thinking from your POV, maybe this has to do more with the fact that you really wanted a tie-in. Nice story.
Author's Response: Thank you for such a detailed review! This story isn't really an in-depth one, and I can understand what you mean about it perhaps being too rushed or too dependent on dialogue. I wanted it to be quick snit-bits; it wasn't supposed to go too deeply or too involve too much action; I'm sorry if you didn't enjoy it as much because of that. And I'll definitely have to go back and fix that bit about hospital bills. As for the nicknames -- I personally give people nicknames a lot and rarely call the people I'm close to be their straight name (I'm the only member of my family who still calls my brothers, even though we're all now grown, Nicky and Georgie rather than Nick and George) so I tend to have characters in my story give affectionate nicknames. I can understand why it would seem cliche and not canon, though, and it's probably something I should fix. You make an interesting point about the dialogue and the action/narrative situation. I always love thoughtful reviews like this that really examine the language :) I'm glad you decided to give this story a chance even though you're not generally a James/Lily fan, and thanks again for the review!
wow I loved this…the characterization of lily and James is perfect…I loved part ii. where James is talking about Harry playing quidditch its so cute how proud he is of harry. …part vii. also cute and funny : ) and x. was the best it made me cry brilliant work :D
Author's Response: Thanks so much! I had a lot of fun writing a proud!James, so I'm glad you enjoyed that :) And I was tearing up a little myself for section x.!
This was soo good :D Excelllent...really moving.
Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you liked it!
I am really glad you accidentally opened it. I enjoyed this story so much, James and Lily have always been two of my favorite characters and I believe you did them justice. I can actually see them reacting in those ways.
I love the little story in the beginning I thought it was a great way to start. You made me cry and you made me laugh, all in all wonderful job.
Author's Response: I'm glad I accidentally opened it, too! ;) I'm pretty fond of James and Lily, too, so I'm glad you think I did them justice! Thanks for the review.
This story is so cute! I cried a little at the end when Ginny died. It was so sad.
My favorite part was this:
"I think you're missing the main point," he interrupts. "THEY FLEW OUT ON A DRAGON!"
It is so funny! I could imagine that happing if James and Lily were watching him.
I like the idea for this story. I've read others like this, but this one is the best by far. The characterization of James and Lily is great. They are funny and serious at the same time.
I like how you added the Weasley's deaths in this too. I think that's what made this so good. Ginny's reaction while watching Harry is great. It's so sad and powerful.
This is written so well. I just keep reading it over and over again. The title is also amazing. I smile when I see if because it is kinda funny, but it still fits with this semi-sad story.
Author's Response: Thank you so much! You always leave the most detailed reviews, which are always the best! I really liked writing the whole thing, but the end was with Ginny was probably my favorite! I'm glad you liked it. I know it's been done before, so I consider it high praise that it among the best :)
I love it! A view into what Lily's views where on Snape would have been awesome, but this is still wonderful!!
Author's Response: Thanks! Yes, there was definitely a lot more that could have been included, but I thought it was best to keep it simple.
Wow! At first, there was something about your story that seemed a little cliche; the premise is not new, for example, and I wasn't pulled in at the very beginning. However, I really liked that you had Ginny join James and Lily first. I thought that really made your story better, and made the ending much more interesting.
Author's Response: I can imagine someone might have done something like this before. I'm glad you ending was different and you enjoyed it! Thanks for the review.
Oh my God, you made me cry! It was written so beautifully!
Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it! Thanks for the review :)
I'm running out of adjectives, so I will just say how much I enjoyed this. I haven't read a lot of James/Lily (though I always mean to)... I so loved them in this. What a comforting thought, to know how they watched over him.
Really good title, too. Even before I saw that you wrote this, the title caught my attention.
Author's Response: I'm really attached to that title, so I'm glad you liked it and it caught your attention! Thanks for the review! I love James and Lily, so it's always good to know that I can write something people who don't always go for James/Lily read and enjoy :)
This is the second time in two days that you’ve got me teary-eyed. : ( : )
Ah…Lily/James has been my all-time favourite OTP, and the way you’ve written this story is the exact reason why. I simply love the chemistry between them. Their reactions had me laughing and tearing up alternately. And although there were parts I would have liked to see, like Harry seeing them in the Mirror of Erised, I still think this was perfect in terms of story-telling. I did see a few typos and errors.
"And then, then, he pushed the broom just a little bit faster — the perfect amount, really, not too much or to little, and —"
It should be “too”.
"Jamie," she finally says, her voice so soft and sweet it makes him ache, "Do you think he can handle this? Can he face what's waiting for him? The pain and the danger and . . . and all of it?"
“Do” should start in the lower case.
"And it did wonders for my self-esteen," he says matter-of-factly, not fazed by the look on her face. "And it made me a more considerate lover when you did finally succumb to my charms."
“Oh, shut-up," Lily huffs. "I'm trying to —"
Why is “shut-up” hyphenated?
“Ginny is talking animately now, Harry raptly listening, and then they both start laughing.
Do you mean “animatedly”?
“And then he survives the killing curse, and hides his survival, and now he's facing Voldemort again, and this time, there is no fear or hesitance in his step or gaze or words. It's all come down to this single moment.”
I think “killing curse” should begin with caps.
All in all, another great one-shot! Keep them coming.
Author's Response: Thank you for pointing out all those typos! I've fixed them. I'm glad you liked this and enjoyed the chemsitry between Lily and James -- they're one of my favourite pairings in all fandoms, so it's good to know when I do them justice :)
This story was amazing! I was in tears by the end. It was nice to see Harry's life through his parents life. Perfect balance of comedy and seriousness and sadness. Great job
Author's Response: Thanks! I had a lot of fun writing the funnier parts, so I'm glad you liked those as well as the sadder, more serious ones. :)
I loved it; I thought it was wonderful. I enjoyed reading it. It would be interesting if you did include the parts about Sirius, Remus and Snape, only because I am curious what you wrote. Thanks for writing!
Author's Response: Thanks! The scene with them only dealt with what Lily thought of Tonks and then there was a greeting to Sirius, who has a guest appearance. I was afraid it would take the focus from the simple idea of James and Lily keeping watch over Harry, though.
Wow!!!!!!!!!! What an emotional roller coaster you created.
Author's Response: Thanks! I did cover a lot of emotions, didn't I? I'm glad you liked it!
I love your stuff and this is no exception!
Brought tears to my eyes. Well done!
Author's Response: Thanks! I'm glad you liked it!