Simply heartwarming. You've perfectly captured those early moments of parenthood.
Author's Response: Thanks, that‚Äôs what I was trying to do. -N-
All I could go was "aww". The end was brilliant, this is the first time Harry has a real family. He does have extended families, but this is his own. And it came through well.
Author's Response: Thanks for the review. As you say, this is his own family. It makes a difference. -N-
You're really a talented writer and I've read all your stories about h/g but this is the most beautiful and heart warming story that you did (so far)...Ty for giving us wonderful stories of the
Author's Response: Thanks. There is probably more personal experience in this story than in many of my others. I'll certainly never forget the hand-crushing incident. -N-
Soraya (xxbabewithbrainsxx) told me to read this story after I'd mentioned a similar idea in a story she beta-ed for me, though since that was something my mum told me, rather than actually experienced, yours was obviously way better. (Reviewing interrupted by dinner so this review will be far less coherent than I had hoped- sorry). The part where Harry looks at his son and talks about how it feels to fall in love, when he thought Ginny would be the only person he would fall in love with- from what I've read of your writing it's much more introspective than your other stories, and I think it's beautifully worded. Harry is no longer just Harry but a father, and that makes him stand for something else but it's also the Harry we know and love from the books. I'm not explaining myself very well, but this story is about fatherhood and love, rather than Harry and what happened next, which I think is really powerful. And you can tell it's really you talking rather than Harry. It's annoying when author's do that too often, but here it slips in perfectly. Alex
Thanks for the review.
This story is, Iím certain, the most personal thing Iíve ever written (Sleepless Night is second). I hope that I havenít stretched Harryís characterisation, but I believe that parental love is a powerful emotion when you first experience it. When the lump in the belly suddenly becomes a tiny little person the confusing emotions experienced are overwhelming.
Harry in the books is certainly not self centred, in fact he always seems to be trying to look after others and Iíd like to think that this would be his reaction. Warning, not all blokes feel like this (one of my workmates regards kids as an inconvenience). -N-
Author's Response: Thanks :-) -N-
Very cute. You nail emotion pretty well, in all of your stories.
A slight bugbear though, i think sometimes, you use a slightly more verbose term, when something clearer would do, and would obscure your meaning less, if you get where i'm coming from. As an example, i think you use 'conglomerate' near the end of this, and it seems as though it's perhaps overdoing it... Perhaps. (I speak as someone who's been told pretty much this by various people in regard to stuff i've written....!)
B'yeah, that's a very minor point i wanted to bring up. What i do love about your stuff is, it really revels in the idea that, now the canon's finished, it's our world to play wth. Great stuff.
Thanks for the review.
I should follow my own advice and eschew ostentatious sesquipedalian circumlocution. :-) Actually, that is completely the wrong word there. Iím pretty certain I intended to type congregate. It seems that coming back to a story over a year later allows me to spot my errors. I have fixed it and I will look at the entire story when I get the time.
Not only is it our world to play with, but JKR has told us (in quite some detail) where itís headed. What could be better than trying to follow a plot outline by JKR? -N-
Aw! This was so sweet! What I liked about this the best was the way it flowed and how Harry told the tale. Ginny was so funny and the Healer was wonderfully understanding. I think this says a lot about Harry and Ginny's relationship, especially as Harry has two loves, now.
All in all, tt was a very original idea, a great sequel to It Takes Two, and a fabulously fresh take on the phrase, "Love at first sight". It really means something this time. I don't believe in love at first sight -- not romantically, at least. I think that kind of thing can only be at times like this, parenthood.
Of course, the ending was the best bit. I laughed at the "tiny quantity of runny green excrement". Ha! Very tactfully put. But is babies' first poo really green? I'll have to ask my mum.
Thanks for the review. I can still remember the time (I almost literally) ran into my girl in a bookshop doorway. Love at first sight? No, but I was definitely very interested (red hair does it for me every time). There is a lot of me in this particular story. Newborn baby poo is closer to green than brown, but that may vary with mumís diet. (My girl works with prenatal and postnatal mothers.)Neil
What a precious story! I was definitely crying near the end of it. The way you describe Harry's feelings for his little son are so real and beautiful. The ending was absolutely perfect as well! That's exactly what little babies do! :) I also loved that Ginny was angry during her labor. I'm glad you didn't gloss over that part like some stories would have. My husband and I don't have any chidlren yet, but I hope that our experience will be just as wonderful as Harry's and Ginny's. Wonderful story! Well done! :)
Author's Response: Thanks for the review. There is a lot of personal stuff in this story (more than I care to admit). The emotions (and the pain and anger) were as accurate as I could make them. I think of this as the middle one of my three ďPotter familyĒ stories. The others are It Takes Two and Sleepless Night. -N-
I really love this. You really captured baby love well. I personally haven't experienced it - I'm far too young for babies - but you showed it in a way that a person who wasn't a member of the parents' club could get it.
I liked the use of the shorter paragraphs. It drove home the points you made better than if it had been one continuous ramble.
Author's Response: Olivia Thanks for the review. This is one of the shortest things Iíve written, and it was simply and attempt to capture the emotions of baby love. Iím happy that you think that Iíve succeeded. Neil
It's so beautifully written. You have captured the tenderness of fatherly love so well.
Author's Response: Thank you. This is the shortest thing I've ever written. But it doesn't need to be any longer. N
That was beautiful! You've captured Harry's feelings at the birth of his first son wonderfully. You used his voice well, also - it was all very 'Harry.' I liked Ginny's characterization too, and their interaction was great, even the swearing. ;)
I think my favorite lines had to be:
I fell in love with a schoolgirl. I married an International Quidditch player. Tonight, for the first time in my life I will share my bed with a mother.
That's just briliiant, beautiful, perfect!
The end was very cute, very touching. Really, this was all just lovely. And in my very humble opinion, I still think it fits the prompt of surprise love, because just about everything about having and falling in love with a new baby is a surprise.
Great job!! ~Gina :)
The swearing was (in my opinion) essential.
The lines you quote were my favourites, too. Thank you.
Great story, you go from strength to strength.
Small point, I think new born babies have blue eyes that change to their final colour in a few weeks.
Author's Response: Thanks. Most (not all) ethnic European babies have blue (or grey) eyes. Iím fairly certain that the chance of James being born with brown eyes is about 2% (not much, but itís good enough odds for a work of fiction Ė look at it as being 20,000 times more likely than a million to one chance (-: ). Fred and Roxanneís chance is a LOT higher. -N-
I like this one, Neil, and I think it was a great choice to use parental love for "love at first sight" even if it doesn't work with the challenge. Harry and Ginny were both characterized well and fun to read. Good job!
Author's Response: Thanks. This was fun to write, though itís certainly not a love story in the traditional sense. -N-
You are fast becoming one of my favorite fanfic authors. Lovely story. And anyone who has had ever had a baby knows of that surprise love the first time you hold them - how can you instantly love someone so much? You not only captured that, you capture all the HP characters so well - this is how I see Ginny and Harry. Please keep writing! Love to see where you take my favorite books - and you do it in canon, the icing on the cake!
Author's Response: Thank you. It is a bizarre time; frightening, distressing, wonderful and surprising for the father, and rather more painful and exhausting for the mother. -N-