Reviewer: Kerichi
Date: 11/01/10 6:22
Chapter: Chapter 1

The title drew my curiosity. What would a Dementor's Kiss be like? I enjoyed your take on it, and the couplet rhyming scheme.

How could one imagine a Dementor's Kiss.

Being sucked of all joy, happiness and bliss.



The first two lines set the theme and tone of the poem wonderfully, but the next line jarred with its shift from third person "one" to second person "you." If the poem's meant to make the reader feel like the person who's receiving the Dementor's Kiss, the first line and the second to last lines don’t fit. The first because of pov, the second because of tense: “would you” instead of “do you.”

 

As much as I liked the way you described the effects of the “Kiss”, there are contradictions in logic. If you have no thoughts, there would be a macabre “peace of mind.” You would be incapable of nightmares, reliving failures, or contemplating how you’ll spend the rest of your life.

 

The last line needs a question mark, but the question asked is poignant and thought provoking and an excellent end to the poem.

 

Reviewer: Virgil
Date: 03/19/10 21:50
Chapter: Chapter 1

This is really quite moving. One error that I caught: "It is to much to bare." should be "It is too much to bare." Probably just a typo.
For such few words, this poem really makes one think!
~Virgil~

You must login (register) to review.
Information
Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.


We have stories and authors in this archive.

:

RSS
Choose Theme:
SOCIAL MEDIA
     
MOST RECENT
Cera Hipkiss is (Apparently) Annoying by Kceratops 6th-7th Years
As Cera Hipkiss begins her sixth year at Hogwarts, she is pretty used to feeling...
Harry Potter and the Sorting Hat's Choice by EmmaGM 1st-2nd Years
The smallest detail can influence thousands of lives. An other universe story...
Tom Riddle and the Cave of Living Waters by alittletiefling 6th-7th Years
What would happen if Tom Marvolo Riddle had been adopted by well-meaning squibs?...
FEATURED
Where Light and Shadow Meet by Ennalee 1st-2nd Years
All his life, Percy has built and gathered, painted and carved, and now everything...
Different in the Morning by Gmariam 3rd-5th Years
Seventh year is almost over, and after indulging in the kitchen a bit too much...
Rid of Me by littlebird 6th-7th Years
Hermione gets the cat, the flat, the food, and the furniture. Ron gets the family...
CATEGORIES