A missing peice behind the scenes that displays a great judge of character. This piece of work could very well fit into my Hary Potter world. I can now see what I was missing before! Great piece of work!!
Author's Response: Thank you very much. Glad you enjoyed the story. ~Carole~
Oh, it's so sad! And strangely, beautiful, though I'm not usually into femmeslash. What inspired you to write about this pairing?
Author's Response: Um, not sure really. I had an idea about Amelia and Bellatrix being at school together, and I always knew what I wanted the end to be, and the story just sprang from there, I suppose. Thanks for reading and reviewing. ~Carole~
This was a fantastic read! I've been reading quite a few of your fics lately, and I've been consistently impressed. You are really talented! This was a really beautiful story with a heartbreaking ending. Great job! I can't wait to read more.
Author's Response: Thank you very much. This was a story that I wrote very much with that end in mind, so I'm glad you appreciated that. ~Carole~
I have never read anything so heartbreakingly beautiful.
Author's Response: Oh! Thank you very much. The end makes me cry a little bit, I must admit. ~Carole~
awesome. really engaging and elegantly written. my heart raced throughout the entire story.
Author's Response: OOH, thank you very much. It was a hard story to plan, but once I started I found it difficult to stop writing. Glad you enjoyed it ~Carole~
Author's Response: Interesting?
That was amazing I like this other more fun side of Bellatrix. But it stays true to her character too great job!
Author's Response: Thank you very much for the review. I do like to think that there's a side to Bellatrix - before she met Voldemort - that wasn't totally evil. Manipulative - yes, but not completely bad. ~Carole~
Wow, Carole, you really brought this pairing to life. It is so very believable. Of course, it's beautifully written but you have also caught the emotions so well. Very powerful.
Author's Response: Thanks Julia, I was trying to convey a certain amount of emotion so I'm pleased this came across. ~Carole~
Well, I of course HAD to come read this the moment I saw the name 'Bellatrix' on your LJ, and in a femmeslash fic no less.
I'm going to start by saying that, as a whole, this wasn't a bad read at all. The way you write the sexual scenes ... was more explicit than I expected, even for a PRofessors rated fic, but at the same time you left out just enough so that it didn't make the reader uncomfortable. Really lovely job with that. The way you have the characters interacting and reacting to each other was well done as well; you built up the relationship rather fast, but you also gave background in the way they interacted and the things they said to each other. It was a nice balance.
I also thought the relationship itself, as a femmeslash, was well done as well. It didn't seem overly dramatic, awkward, or forced at all; the best thing about a really well written pairing of any kind is that it flows, and the way you wrote the pairing itself, the characters notwithstanding, had a natural feel to it.
Now Bellatrix I can't imagine being in love per se, so I did like that it seemed, to me, to be a lot more about lust and adrenaline than love, which seemed much more like Amelia. The balance there was nicely done and I'm glad you acknowledged that.
I have to say this, though: I was rather disappointed in your Bellatrix, to be completely honest. Bellatrix as a character fascinates me; she's insane, completely mental, but she's also got a lot of intensity and just ... fire. I caught a sense of that here, its true, so I wasn't completely disappointed in that sense. Still, though, most of the time she just didn't feel like Bellatrix and there were several places where the thought Bellatrix wouldn't do that or Bellatrix wouldn't say that ran through my head.
There were quite a few places, but the biggest example that sticks out in my mind of the latter thought I just mentioned was here:
“I’d rather patrol tonight; then I’ll have the weekend free. Please, Amelia.”
I just ... cannot, under any circumstance, hear Bellatrix Black/Lestrange saying please to anyone, especially a Hufflepuff, except maybe the Dark Lord.
Speaking of Hufflepuff, that was the other thing that got to me. Even if I thought there was a slight trance that Bellatrix, of all people, could forget prejudices, the haughty nature that makes her Bellatrix was missing, or at least severely lacking. There were times when I caught a small sense of it, but not enough. Her arrogance and the sense she has that she is above all others is a large part of her characterization that shouldn't be so secondary in writing her.
Amelia, on the other hand, I thought you handled much better. She's easier, true, but we also don't really know anything about her at all. You gave her a very believable background and personality; she felt very real. I especially liked that you made this from her point of view, rather than Bellatrix's, because I think that lent a lot to your story because Amelia seemed more invested in the relationship than did Bellatrix, which I think suits both of their characters well.
All in all, the story itself was nice, but I think ... I, personally, might have enjoyed it more had you used a character other than Bellatrix. In any case, though, it is your story and of course you don't have to agree with me, but that is just my opinion.
Author's Response: Thank you for the review. I'm glad you enjoyed the smut - I quite like writing it - ha ha. Okay Bellatrix, I know she's a fascination of yours, so I shall explain my reasoning. I was trying to portray a girl who at 18 may not have been quite as unbalanced and could possibly have not been a Death Eater if she'd chosen a different path. She was still incredibly sexual, and cruel but perhaps if she hadn't met Voldemort she wouldn't have been quite so unbalanced. That's my reasoning, and I know, from reading your fics, that it's not yours, but I needed a less crazed version of Bellatrix because Amelia would have run a mile - despite the fascination. The scene where she says 'Please' to Amelia is really manipulation, because she knows Amelia will fall for it. I think her arrogance is very much a part of who she is, and she wouldn't have toyed with anyone but the Head Girl who was also a pure-blood. Yes, Bellatrix does think herself above most people, but the Bones family are also important purebloods in that society - I don't think they were on different levels as it were. Anyway, ta for the review, I appreciate it, Nikki. ~Carole~
So, I've already praised this so much in that draft I sent you, but I just to reiterate what I said.
The pairing made so much sense. Bella seems to be a very sensual person by nature, while Amelia Bones as a lesbian...I have suspected that before, and it sort of fits. In any case, I thought the portrayal of Bellatrix in your fic was excellent! And, of course, you wrote a good/tragic history for Amelia Bones.
I especially loved the ending. I think this is something which we usually see in your fics. For that Back To Hogwarts entry, for the Seamus/Lavender one, and for this one, you write the story in a linear progression and at the end, what went before was more like an extended flashback. The ending always show a form of irony, and it never fails to touch me the contrast of what was and what .
All in all, a great entry for the challenge. Good luck!
Author's Response: Thank you, Natalie. Hmm, I'm wondering whether I do this flash forward thing a bit too much, but I'd already worked out that I needed to do it with this story long before I wrote the Molly one |(and Seamus/Lavender too). Thank you for all your help with this; it meant a great deal. Amazing beta, Natalie. ~Carole~
Ooh, my first Femmeslash!
This story is passionate, feisty, raw, and heartbreaking all at once. Poor Amelia for having to live her life alone, and poor Bellatrix for having to kill the one she really wanted to be with.
This doesn't feel like normal slash at all; it gives me the 'this really could have happened' feeling, which is a super, mega bonus.
Very nice, and I'm glad to see you beat this one into submission, considering the amount of angst it caused you, lol.
Until we meet again!
Author's Response: En Guard! Thank you, Jess for my first femmslash review. Yeah it caused me grief but the Bellatrix is like that. I'm really happy that you said it felt as if it could have happened because I think that's what I was trying to convey both with this and my Oliver fic. Ta lots ~Carole~