you succeeded in capturing the feeling of "snow-hushed" nicely. Very sad, and yet calm at the same time. Seems to provide a good picture of the grief after the final battle.
I have no idea about meters or rhymes; when it comes to technical matters of poetry, I utterly fail. But I do love what this poem is about, and how it has been written.
Snow is something I have mixed feelings towards. On the one hand, it inspires feelings of romance (probably because I have seen far too many Bollywood movies where the "heroes" and "heroines" prance about in snow-clad places and sing love songs). And yet, it is so cold and impersonal and quietening. Therefore, the adjective "snow-hushed" instantly makes me gloomy and sad.
I like how the next para subtly changes from the world of the living to the dead, while still keeping the connection of snow. Here is impersonality and quiet of a different sort.
Even though the word is absent in the last para, the mood is still there. Heavy and cold and quiet is the grief which the living contain for the dead. I particularly love the last two lines:
But if their lives were not in vain why is it then We feel their weight still heavy?
Mmmm... I am not a good critic for poetry, and I may have interpreted the whole thing incorrectly. But I think it is poignant without being maudline, and very beautifully written.
That was lovely. I am a rhyme-and-rhythm girl myself, yet found I was mesmerized by the easy flow of this poem. The final question in particular was very striking and powerful. Great job (as always!) ~GIna :)
Author's Response: Thank you. This one was written a litte on the back of the Haiti disaster and something that I heard on the news from a rapper who came from Haiti (how uncool am I that I don't remember his name). It was provoked by the fact that aftermaths, no matter what they follow, always have the same overtones of loss and despair, sometimes not tinged with much hope.