This is a nice little heart to heart.:-)
*points to name* The moment I saw the title of this story I got really excited. :)
I loved this little one-shot, the dialogue was really well done, and very realistic.
Author's Response: I worked really hard on trying to get the dialogue to flow right, so I'm glad it paid off!
I really enjoyed this piece. Molly’s characterization was wonderful, especially since you showed us a lovely soft side to the overbearing, over protective mother. All we normally see is the shrieking and yet we don’t get to see that it comes from a place of love, and I think you’ve illustrated this wonderfully.
However, there were a few things that I wanted to pick at. First, although I think that this was meant to just be a short-and-sweet scene, it did seem to be lacking in foundation. One-shots are usually slack on the plot building and that works because most readers views the pieces as scenes rather than entire stories, but I think this story would have done well with more plot backing it up. You laid out a lot of points (Molly’s apology for her actions, the children never spending time together, Hermione warming up to Ron so early), but only incorporated them through dialog, so I was left with a rather unfulfilled feeling. I think that if you had explored these aspects more, given them more meat, they would have ultimately come across with more emotion and impact.
Also, I wanted to comment on the conversation as a whole. As with the plot, it was rather quick, and I think that with such a fantastic premise here, it would have been all the more enjoyable had there been more to it. The conversation as it is is touching, seeing it from Molly and Hermione’s point of view, and amusing as all hell for the reader, knowing how awkward Hermione must have been. If you had illuminated perhaps the body language of both of them, incorporated more narration as to how both women were acting outwardly, we would have been able to connect further than we were interpreting these things for ourselves.
Speaking of amusing, both of their sentiments toward Ron were adorable, and hilarious. =D You really captured the nature of the relationship between mother and her son’s romantic interest. More so, though, did I really get a feel that it wasn’t just two women, but two witches. There was some sort of atmosphere about the setting, or maybe the conversation, that really tuned in to the less-than-normal circumstances the magical community lives in.
Over all I really enjoyed this! It was an entertaining insight into Molly, and the premise was extremely cute.
Author's Response: I'm trying to work on fleshing out my writing. This one-shot is a prime example of why I need to do so, isn't it? I'm glad you still able to enjoy it despite this major weakness. Your comment about me capturing the spirit of the magical community really made my day. So often in reading HP fanfiction, especially stories that are about ships, I feel like a real sense that it is set in a world other than our own is lacking. Thank you so much for taking the time to write an in-depth review, Ari. I'm sorry I hadn't taken the time to write a reply sooner.
It was a charming piece of fluff, and not a topic usually attacked by fanfiction. But I did like your explanation of Mrs. Weasley's reconciliation to Hermione, and I liked the insight into Ron's feelings (as only his mother could have). I felt like the end was a little rushed though, almost like you were hurrying a little to finish the story.
Author's Response: I don't think there's much higher praise for an author than to say (in a positive way, of course) that their story is not in commonly covered territory, so thank you. As for the ending, my favorite beta will tell you that endings aren't exactly my strong point. :o
I loved this little one-shot! The characterization of Molly was perfect, and I could literally see their conversation unfolding in front of my eyes - something that rarely happens, I assure you ;) Amazing job! I can just see Mrs. Weasley sitting around one day and thinking about how she hasn't been the nicest person to Hermione and simply resolving to fix that, haha. I think you captured her oh-my-little-boy-is-growing-up feelings perfectly! :)
Author's Response: It occurred to me once that Mrs Weasley wasn't too friendly too Hermione at the end of GoF, but they seemed to get along just fine by the time Harry arrived at Grimmauld Place in OotP. I figured something must have happened for them to work it, and the rest grew from there. I'm so pleased that you could actually see the conversation happening. It warms the cockles of my heart. As for the part about Ron growing up, I hadn't originally thought of including it in this story, but it seemed to fit. I'm glad you thought so, too. I can't tell you how much I appreciate this wonderful review, Apurva. It's brought a big grin to my face. *squishes*