Ahhh! well that makes more sense. In that case, I applaud you. I don't think it OOC that Hermione would fantasise, however I would have thought she'd be more likely to fantasise about Ron or Lockhart (which is icky, but is possible)
Mind you, now you've explained that you were taking the mick out of the poor Tom Felton in leather trousers fans out there, and the Harmony lovers - then I get it. (I was wondering why you'd written Dramione - very OOC for you)
Fantasies about getting caught are common, I guess, but getting caught on the off chance by one professor (or Filch) is one thing - getting discovered by a group of snot-nosed first years is too hideous to contemplate.
I thought the end lines were after she'd returned to bed for the night and was sighing because her overlooked dance was over.
Tell me, did it alter your perception of Draco as a possible love object (not just for Hermione) or are you of the opinion that he won't love anyone but will make a safe marriage for dynastic purposes? (Not sure what you vp is on Draco in general - just that you dislike the Draco is 'hawt' line that runs free in fanfiction. ~Carole~
Author's Response: I'm not a big fan of the pairing labels people use all the time - Dramione, H/Hr, those ones - because I find it narrows the kind of stories you can tell. If, for example, you write something that puts Hermione and Draco together in any context, you're automatically in favour of them being together, even if the story you've written is being critical of the pairing. The fandom - most fandoms, really - is so focused on pairing characters up... I was more trying to say that's the silly part, rather than pick on one specific pairing (although Draco/Hermione is the low-hanging fruit, if I wanted to). Like... in the end, Hermione isn't paired with anyone. What she's imagining is inconsequential. When she's done, she just turns over and goes to sleep. Tha's kind of how I feel about character pairings in general - fun to play with, but nothing to lose sleep over.
About Draco... I think his attractiveness and his aristocracy both are played up too often. I think he's a very pitiable character - there's a person buried deep inside the baggage from his father, it's just that we (via Harry's perspective) rarely get to see any of it. I'm quite interested with the relationship he has with Pansy, especially with the extra-canon knowledge that she's not the woman in the epilogue. I'm not adverse to Draco finding love - I just think it's better if he's a human with vulnerabilities, rather than a perfect love god straight from the pages of a cheap romance paperback.
This is an interesting story providing an insight into Hermione that we really don't see in the books (but do seem to see in fanfiction - and the films)The writing is very sensual and the imagery is startling, but I can't help feeling that Hermione is OOC. I can imagine her wanting to come up to the Astronomy tower and be alone, perhaps indulge in a dance and fantasise, but knowing that Draco AND Harry are watching her doesn't really work - unless (and forgive me, 'cause I could well be wrong) she's imagining the whole thing and it's part of some deeper fantasy of hers. I think I would have enjoyed the story more if that had been the case, or it had been about another girl (Lavender or Hannah, perhaps)
The other thing that always strikes me about stories set in the Astronomy Tower is that it's the last place anyone would want to go for a moonlight dance/assignation. At night, Professor Sinistra holds all her classes - you can't study Astronomy during the day. In truth, Hermione, Draco and Harry would have bumped into groups of first years being herded up to their lessons.
Draco/Hermione is a powerful fanfiction subject and I think you tackled the very 'verboten' ness of it well. And, as I said, the writing and imagery were beautiful. ~Carole~
Author's Response: It's absolutely the case that Hermione is imagining the whole thing - none of the story is 'real' except the last three lines. Is Hermione out of character, from what we know about her? Perhaps, but maybe we're all a little out of character in our fantasies. That's what a fantasy is, after all - where you imagine you're something you aren't. So for Hermione, to imagine herself desired by two(!) boys and to be brave enough to reveal a deeply sexual side of herself to them... she'd never actually do that in a million years, but she might be able to imagine doing so.
I set this story in the Astronomy Tower for exactly that reason - it's a fanfiction trope for couples to sneak up there to have their trysts, but nothing of the sort is ever mentioned in the books (students are more likely to duck into an unused classroom), and as you say, there's lots of traffic up there because of the Astronomy classes. However, if there was maybe a part of you that wanted to get caught...
Draco/Hermione is one of the pairings I have a very hard time wrapping my head around, so I guess that's one of the reasons I kind of made fun of it with this story, given that Draco's just a prop (Harry too, for that matter) - Hermione's not even really thinking about Draco himself, per se, but rather the effect she's having on him in her fantasy. I've skimmed over more than enough stories where Hermione becomes captivated with the fanon leather-pants version of Draco (often despite how much she hates him) before descending into lurid purple prose - I just wanted to put the shoe on the other foot for a little while.
Beautifully written. Very powerful. I love it.
Author's Response: Thanks! I think it's a subject that's a bit underexplored - everywhere, not just fanfiction - although I can't possibly imagine why that would be...
Author's Response: :)