Very sensitive.....yu even understand Dumbledore..... truly creative of yu to make a prose out of pure emotions.
Author's Response: Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! I'm glad you enjoyed.
I almost cried, really. It was heart-breakingly beautiful.
It’s not a small, tiny drop that has hit your eye. It’s a big drop, the size that makes you wonder how all of the water can stay together. Your eye stings but it is welcome. It takes your mind off of everything, just for a second. After that second is up, all of the other pain comes back to you.
I’m sure you know how I love details; this is such a sweet part. Everything, absolutely everything was detailed exceptionally.
“Because someone above us is crying for us. They’re trying to make things better for us. The least we can do is appreciate what they give everyone.” Lily finished, and you stayed there, in the rain.
It might just be me, but it seemed like that Lily’s response is – er, childish. It’s a child’s answer. Would this have been when they were in their early years in Hogwarts?
Remus asks himself a lot of questions, and I can’t imagine this fic without it. There’s just something that causes us, don’t you think, to ask questions we can’t answer but try all the same? To me, those questions shake him up. It hurts because he knows he’ll never know. It reminds me of Dr. Carl Sagan’s quote, ‘We make our world significant by the courage of our questions and by the depth of our answers.’ Simple questions that needed deep answers are very lovely details you’ve added her. :)
“At least it’s not you, Remus. You could be dead right now.”
I expected Remus to explode here, but instead you wrote him as he truly is: just Remus. The empty answer, and the pain of that realisation that they were dead; the reactions are all Remus with the added bitterness of mourning. Beautiful, beautiful.
I love the ending. It gave me goose bumps! The scene was captured so vividly, it was like I was watching a movie in my head. The last line was so moving. An incredible way to end the story! The second person added to the feeling of being surrounded by the story. I felt Remus’s pain. I felt his grief and sorrow; I felt his emptiness. I don’t get touched easily, but this – it reminded me that I don’t cry for myself, but I cry for those who had a pain that was too much a heart could hold. You encompassed the reader so well into the story that it was hard to ignore Remus’s emotions. I try, most of the time, to stay neutral and stay above stories that make me react violently, but I guess this was written so elegantly and passionately that I can’t escape the scene. I love how you didn’t waste words to plain description. You wrote intricate details that made the whole piece fit perfectly!
Thank you for writing this. Thanks so much for sharing this story. There may not be many that reviewed this and you may think that none had enjoyed this, but this story will always stick to me. I can tell – even till now, there are stories, much like this, that I’ve remembered through out this years. This fic will not go unrecognised. Thank you for writing it. I enjoyed it immensly :)
oh, Alyssa, this was so great I would squeal, if it were not completely inappropriate, giving the topic. I am really to sad at the moment to squeal... which is a good thing, I guess, because that was your aim for the story? I think this is really something Remus would think that day.
I have question. You say To you, noise makes things seem final. . Why, though? I'm just curious.
Also, I wonder what exactly Dumbledore says with his eyes?
I especially love the line Minuets later there is another wet spot of tears-you have no-where to turn to (at least I think that was it) I love this because it kind of shows his current condition. He really doesn't have anywhere to turn to.
I also have a few nit-picks.
you say the spell and one pop later... One doesn't have to say a spell to Apparate.
And here, Or in James, Peter's or Lily's case, dead Why do you have a 's on Peter and Lily's names, but not on James' ?
Again, great great job Alyssa (and ha! Weren't you saying only a few days ago that you only had a hundred words, and that you wouldn't get this finished??? Knew you could do it, hun :D)
Author's Response: In a way, I'm glad you're sad. That's wat I was going for. I'm glad that you liked line. I like it too. About the nitpicks - I'll have to change them. Thank's for pointing them out. Thanks for reading and reviewing!
That's a really good story, it makes you really see how the world would've looked to Remus after that incident. It made me sad too; I'm kinda emotional. x) Thanks for writing it!
Author's Response: Thank you so much! Thank you so much for reviewing it. I'm so happy that you like it.
This is an exceptional depiction of Remus' feelings after learning that he is, once again, completely alone. It almost made me cry, and it takes a lot to do that. The second-person writing really adds to the effects of the story. Very masterful.
Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review. What you said really means a lot to me. I'm glad that you like the second-person. Thank you so much for this review.