Reviewer: MagicMandy
Date: 11/14/10 12:58
Chapter: Happy Brithday... To You

That was a little sad, but it was beautiful, too.

Reviewer: Russia Snow
Date: 10/30/09 8:37
Chapter: Happy Brithday... To You

BB! Carolee stole my place as your first reviewer... *pouts* But I'mma go ahead and review anyway! :-D

I really liked this story, it was so realistic. War can affect people, and you showd the emotion in this story SO convincingly! It was really good.

Any way to make me cry! That ending was SO touching. I swear I was welling up! I loved how you encorporated the language and the translations and having the conductor deaf was such a nice touch.

Before I leave, one tiny Brit Pick: "You had thrown them in the trash Trash is American darling, I think you mean "Bin" or "Rubbish" :-p

And a teensy nit pick: "you had finally found hm" I think you mean "Him" (I told you it was TEENSY :-p)

Other than that I really liked this story! The emotion was spot on, one thing I might say though was as this is HP fanfiction, there wasn't much mention of the wizarding world I appreciate that maybe you were showing that she was trying to leave the wizarding world behind her because of the war, do I have that right? You might want to make that a tad clearer. But, really BB, Well done! For your first Dark/Angst, it was awesome!

Russia xxxxx

Reviewer: Equinox Chick
Date: 10/29/09 14:11
Chapter: Happy Brithday... To You

Ahh, BB, good story. I have to confess I saw the second person and mny heart dropped a bit, because I'm not keen on it for oneshots. And initially I was struggling to overcome my prejudice because it did start to feel a bit preachy as in you're telling me what I should be thinking ... that said, once I got onto the main part of the story, I was really interested and I forgot it was second person. (Sorry, I'm being fussy today). The interraction between the conductor, Kamatchi and Parvati was wonderful. They were both warm-hearted and I think she needed a bit of companionship.

I think what I would have liked at the beginning, is a bit more story. So some scenes why she left everyone behind, and there was no mention of Padma - would she have forgotten her twin so quickly ... or Lavender, her best friend?

I did like the story, and would love to read some more in a similar vein, because it is such a different world from the Potterverse (and UK). Write More - NOW!

Carole

You must login (register) to review.
Information
Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.


We have stories and authors in this archive.

:

RSS
Choose Theme:
SOCIAL MEDIA
     
MOST RECENT
Research and Development by Northumbrian 3rd-5th Years
The Mirrorphone, the latest advance in Wizarding communications. Now, of course...
The Weird Sisters - B-Sides and Rarities, Vol. 2 by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor 1st-2nd Years
The Weird Sisters are back for an encore. Ten more tracks from your MNFF authors.
on this side of heaven by Nagini Riddle 1st-2nd Years
Ariana Dumbledore is struck by a stray curse, and she suddenly finds herself...
FEATURED
Oread, Walking by Seren
Cedric was just as odd as Hermione, because he liked to walk. Cedric/Hermione
The Effect of Gamma Rays on Two Terrifically Trapped Gryffindors. by Fenixaze 3rd-5th Years
From the "Stuck where for the weekend?" Challenge on Portkey.org ... Our two...
Drunk on Him by armagod679 Professors
For me, he was an obsession, a burning obsession, one that I could never let...
A Broken Hallelujah by epiphany212 Professors
You have always loved the chase. The pursuit of Quaffles and dragons have carried...
In the Hufflepuff Way by 1000timesingoldenink 3rd-5th Years
Did anybody really appreciate Hannah's mum?Because Mrs. Abbott was a heroine...
And Now... by Oregonian 3rd-5th Years
Moments after the death of Voldemort, Harry gazes at the corpse of the Dark...
The Weird Sisters - B-Sides and Rarities, Vol. 1 by minnabird 1st-2nd Years
Welcome back to another rousing round of rambunctious rock!However, a new act...
CATEGORIES