MuggleNet Fan Fiction
Harry Potter stories written by fans!
(Signed) · Date:
08/31/17 12:23 · For:
That was great. Of course that's what Draco was doing near the girls' lavatory. I'd forgotten about his "affair" with Moaning Myrtle.
(Signed) · Date:
04/01/12 2:01 · For:
And now you have found the answer to your quest.
Name: Equinox Chick
Merry April Fools Day!
(Let the others find their way here.)
Author's Response: Uhm. What. The. Ever. Loving. Fruck?
(Signed) · Date:
11/29/09 7:54 · For:
OOOH, I'm glad I found this story, Natalie because I thought it was wonderful. I do like the Daphne you've given us, here. Still Slytherin enough to be coldly calculating, but not totally evil. The twist at the end with Draco wanting to talk to Myrtle was fantastic. I did not see that coming.
I have two nit-picks. The first is more of a Brit-pick. Astoria would not refer to Orla as being a 'junior' at the school. That's an American term for younger pupils. We don't really have an equivalent term, so I'd just refer to her as a fourth year, or something.
My other nit-pick concerns Blaise and Daphne. Whilst I'm pleased he's a good Slytherin too, you do know that he belongs to Lavender, don't you. *frowns*. Although... this could be before they get together. *ponders*
You have some very good details in here that could be canon. The Slytherins' letters being the only ones unopened, for instance. And Crabbe inflicting the Cruciatus curse on a first year - for fun. Since writing my own seventh year at Hogwarts fic, I have become interested in this genre. You should write more about these sisters. They are really intriguing. Well done, Natalie. ~Carole~
Author's Response: EEP!
I was supposed to edit that part about “junior.” Spires had already pointed it out to me. *headdesk*
Ahem! About Blaise and Lavender, yes, this was way before they got together. :D Although I get a huge kick out of Daphne kissing Blaise just because he’s attractive, and Blaise being that kind of a buddy for her, I don’t see them as getting together. My version of Daphne is like that – no ties with a guy, thank you very much. ; )
And, yes, I don’t think Blaise was stupid enough to join the Death Eaters. I’ve never imagined him as such. *shrugs* It’s funny how often people forget that “self-preservation” is a dominant Slytherin trait.
Thank you for your review, Carole. I must say that it came as a complete surprise.
(Signed) · Date:
11/25/09 22:46 · For:
So, as I opened it up, the story notes tell me that this is more like a companion piece to a story I adore, AND that it's to expand on Astoria/Daphne. Which is also fangirl. WHY HAVEN'T I READ THIS YET?!
Anyhoo. Oooh you made Astoria a Ravenclaw Prefect…interesting. Veeeery interesting. If someone else was going to be with Draco, I would make it a Ravenclaw, I think. But we've discussed why before…and then I went back and reread that chapter in A Marriage Made in Hogwarts, where you completely mention it there, lol. *Sigh* Oh well. I think diving headfirst myself into their world has made me analyze her character deeper. But I'm glad I did that, because now I see the tie in better.
Oh, the dialogue was so good between them. I can imagine having so many conversations with my sisters with such a similar tone - pushing buttons subtlety, using that ability to make each other annoyed and even angry quicker than any one else on the planet, but they are family - loving and protecting each other no matter what. The part that struck me the most was when Daphne asked if she wanted to "break Ma's heart?" and Astoria went "You didn't tell her!" Daphne goes, "Oh yes I did!" Reminded me a lot of my sisters and siblings in general. Very easy to read, it just flows through your mind rapidly, like it's happening without any delay or miscue.
I think Daphne would have intimated me in real life; cool, aloof, always seems to have an answer…she seems to almost be baiting Astoria to where she wants her to go, answering ambivalently to Astoria's questions and letting her come to her own conclusions.
“Zabini,” cut in Daphne, “may hang around with them, but he has not joined their league.”
“So you and he are alike, then!” cried Astoria nastily.
“Yes, we are.”
Astoria also seems to have more passion, more emotion - she wouldn't have made a good Slytherin in this version, as she seems too conflicted over what to do - she's not thinking about herself as much, but about others. At the same time, though, she still thinks about herself in terms of her reputation, for example - she doesn't want to be associated with her Slytherin sister, so she avoids her all year. I found her characterization in this period in her life very neat - she's got conflicting views, from her home life and upbringing to what she feels is right and sees her classmates doing and talking about. Would she feel the same way if she had been sorted into Slytherin - how much is because of the fact that she is in Ravenclaw with people discussing it everyday from the "good" POV?
I thought it was really neat (hrmph) again that you choose a very cool moment from the books to place this moment in. As a plot device, I think it helped them discuss Draco subtly.
I'm totally falling asleep now xp but I thought this was really well written and a wonderful piece of characterization from what we can derive of Draco and his relationship after the war.
Author's Response: I know Rowling said somewhere that Astoria was a Slytherin Prefect, and in my mind, a younger, warmer version of Narcissa sprang up for some reason. Lol! But I wanted it to be tougher for Draco to get the girl. Someone who didn’t understand his values, someone who found him an abhorrent creature – yes, I wanted a girl like that so that he would come around. And in came Astoria. : D For some reason, I couldn’t picture her as a Gryffindor – the recklessness was absent, or a Hufflepuff – she would have to be friendly and hard-working – again, a no-no. I wanted a clever, non-nonsense, hard-to-please girl who, if you really tried to understand and get close to, would be the perfect lover for you.
I’m so glad you two found the sisterly banter realistic. Lol! Although I’m the only girl, I have plenty of aunts who converse like that. So much politics, yet so much harmless fun.
And the sisters set them off each other rather well, don’t they? Daphne is one of those characters who I’m most satisfied with – yes, she would come first, followed by the horrible Margaret Thornton. ; ) And there is that little bit of Slytherin-ness in Astoria, but ultimately, she is too bookish, and a bit more righteous. But, of course, the ambivalence is still there.
Thank you so much for the “dman” review, my lovely Twin!
(Signed) · Date:
11/14/09 12:48 · For:
Well, I’m not sure why I’m the first review for this story. Honestly, I don’t read many [well, any :p] Astoria or Daphne fics, but this one seems quite different, fresh, to me – there’s not that many fics set during the year the trio should be seventh years.
The characterisation is great. I love your Daphne! She’s so witty, so Slytherin-esque, but she has this unexpected caring quality for her sister, which makes her seem much more... real, and rounded in a way. I’m not sure how to explain, but I do think you wrote her really well. I always imagined the wife of Draco Malfoy to be Slytherin, too, but there’s no doubt that you made Astoria’s character work. I especially liked how good a prefect she is. Quite the opposite to Draco there! LOL.
As far as characterisation goes, my favourite bit about it is how you’ve shown Daphne and Astoria together. They’re not that alike, but they blend so well – as sisters do. I thought the banter between them [particularly on Daphne’s part] was nicely done, because it demonstrated who they are and where they stand [with each other] well.
It was Orla Quirke, a junior at her house. -- this is a tiny quibble, but in Britain you wouldn’t call people ‘junior’ or ‘senior’, etc. So, with the Hogwarts years, I’d stick to ‘first’, ‘second’, etc., for authenticity’s sake.
“No need to get so insecure, Ria. I’m sure she didn’t mean Draco Malfoy.”
Oh, my, that was THE perfect ending. It’s light-hearted [after a conversation that’s not so light-hearted] and really displays that sisterly banter. Also, to the reader it has a serious undertone because of course it IS Draco she’s waiting for, and that Draco’s still seeing Myrtle in his seventh year says a lot about how he’s coping – which reflects on the whole situation in the wizarding world. I know this story isn’t about Draco, at all, but I really like how you’ve incorporated him. You’ve shown there’s strain on him, and of course, because Astoria goes on to marry him, he’s a good character to include.
Overall, this was a nice little one-shot, and I quite enjoyed it. I may have to look in to your A Marriage Made at Hogwarts sometime. :) xox
Author's Response: Hello Spires! *huggles*
Wow! Your review came as a complete surprise. I was beginning to think that no one liked this fic. Lol!
Daphne is probably my favorite Slytherin. *grins* Seriously, though, I think she was different from the Bulstrode/Pansy variety. We don’t hear much about her bullying or hexing people. She could have been a part of “Pansy’s gang of Slytherin girls,” but her silence speaks volumes to me. And I don’t believe that all the Slytherins came to fight alongside Voldemort. Zabini also seems far too cunning for that.
Astoria was the first person about whom I’d drawn a coherent image – Daphne came later as a foil. Yes, they have different values and beliefs, but they do love each other. : )
As for the ending, I so wanted to bring in Draco. I’d started writing this Draco/Astoria fic, where she actually hates him at first, and this one-shot came later. So, yes, I wanted to include the irony of Astoria being repulsive of her future husband.
And thank you for pointing the part about the “junior” part. Briticism will be the death of me .Thanks for such a wonderful review. : D