OMG, so I figured it out. Goyle raped Lily, which is why James killed him. Is that right? Hee, I love how you call him 'Diary Dad', and I like the whole idea, although the ending of this chapter bothered me. Urgh, James is gonna end up killing his dad by using the diary. OMG yes.
Is it wrong that your angst over this simultaneously warms my heart and amuses me? It probably is, but that's how I roll. I will not, of course, be confirming or denying any of your theories, as you will find out all in good time. What happened between Lily, James, and Greg will be revealed in due course in about six or so chapters, so hang in there. :)
Thanks for reading and for reviewing!
Jess! I know I said ages ago I would read "Vindication" and am only just getting round to it now, but I am reading it (just when I have two essays to write-hence breaking here). I am already hooked. The letter Harry wrote James was beautifully put and trust Harry to think of ways to communicate with James. It's so sweet that he would endure the pain in his scar in order to stay connected to his son. I am very, very intrigued and I love your characterisation. The family bond keeps on getting stressed and, as all the characters I think need to be reminded of it, it doesn't get boring. Due to the epic lengths of your chapters it might be a while before I review again, but I'm really enjoying it so far. The detail you put into your writing is amazing. I'm very intrigued/ worried about Lily and Father Gregory. This doesn't bode well, even though whatever James did should be all sorted and closed now (if that makes sense) it obviously isn't. Why haven't Lily's family found her though? That's worrying. So worrying I might have to carry on reading this now. I already love the chronology you have built up between the Epilogue and the events of this story (Arthur being Minister of law Enforcement/ Ginny's Quidditch accident/ the characterisation of Harry and his role in the Government. And Nana Weasley (I call my grandma Nana!) )
Will read the rest of this story as soon as possible and am sure I'll enjoy it as much as I have thus far.
Oh, wow! I have no idea how you could have the time to read this monstrously long story with as many stories as you're working on yourself. I'm jealous of your time management skills. :)
Strictly speaking, Harry has always treated most rules as arbitrary and not always to be followed, so showing favouritism toward his own son in prison is an extension of that. The Lily situation is far more complex, but it'll become clearer in the next few chapters or so. A lot of hidden plot points will be revealed in chapters 9 and 10, as well. There are more twists and turns in this story than a plate of spaghetti, I do have to say, hehe.
I'm actually in the process of editing this story, so next time around, there may be some things which are different. I'm glad you enjoy the original version, though, as it is my very first fan fiction and gigantic, novel-length piece. Thank you very much for the review, and I hope to have not scared you away in later chapters. XD
Is the fact that Harry did not look a day above thirty on his fiftieth birthday related to the fact that Harry's hair turned gray when James started using the diary? Does the diary make sure Harry's body doesn't age, only his soul does? Why does James writing in it have anything to do with this? Isn't all of this a bit like Lord of the Rings? So many questions... but, it's been a gripping story so far. I guess I'll just read on, then. :)
Hehe, I've never read Lord of the Rings; I couldn't get past page 6, 'cause it was kind of boring.
The magic behind the diary is that Harry was his usual self until James started using the diary. Harry linked his living soul, as he would of course never do what was encessary to make it a Horcrux, to the diary, but each time James wrote in it, part of his soul was sucked out and into the diary. The diary required magic for it to work the way James saw it work (him writing and the book answering), and it was sort of battery operated by Harry's magic/soul. That's also what caused the aging (which Harry didn't know would happen).
I hope that helps/clarifies things. Thanks for reading, and enjoy the rest of the story!
I've only read four chapters so far, and I'm dying to read the next one, so this review won't be too long. (Sorry!)
I like how you start the story off with the trial. It kept my attention because I was curious to see what would happen thought-out the chapter.
On a random sidenote, while I was reading the first chapter, I started thinking that the Potter/Weasley family is kind of like the mafia. That sounds kind of weird, but do you know what I mean?
But back to the first chapter. I really like the characterization of James, as well as Albus and Hugo.
Now that I think of it, I can see Albus as a lawyer. I think that his feelings in that situation are exactly as you described them. I know if I was in his situation, I'd feel terrible.
I have never read a story about Hugo at all, so I have nothing to base this off of, but I think you wrote Hugo amazingly well. I can see him as an Auror, now that I think of it.
James' characterization is my favorite. I really liked how he wasn't sorry for doing what he did to Goyle. I think that would fit him perfectly. And what I love even more is that he didn't do it, and his dad knows it. I think that is great with the plot and what Albus said about James and Harry being the closest. Harry would know when his son is lying about something on this level.
I love Harrys letter; it gives so, so much to the plot so far and that's what I love it. I was so surprised that he didn't kill Goyle; I'm great at guessing things, and that didn't even cross my mind.
Another thing that I like about the letter is what Harry said he did with the diary. I think that is an amazing idea and I would never have thought of it. The main this that crossed my mind was: Would Harry do it? He did take the idea from Voldemort, and some part of me thinks that he would try and stay away from something that Tom did, to Ginny no less. I don't think he would want another connection, even if it's years later. But at the same time, he's doing it to help his son, his child, his baby. (I know it's weird to call James a "baby", but you know how parents are. :P) He would do anything to help his kids, even if it was something like what Voldemort did. So I think that doing the diary like that works well for the plot. Did you have thought along the same lines as mine?
My favorite thing in the fourth chapter is what it does to Harry. It was unexpected and it had a ':O' moment. That is an amazing twist to the story. The way it's written just adds to the suspense. It was very hard to stop reading and start this review. I love the final sentence to this chapter.
Another part I like about the chapter is how it was revealed that the secret compartments were there. There is a good reason that it's there, and Harry never really did anything wrong. ;) It's a great idea. I know that Harry would never let his son go through that, even if he did kill someone, and this is a great way for Harry to do it without getting in trouble. Well, he might get in trouble, but that’s irrelevant right now.
The beginning to this chapter was very interesting. I'm just going to take a wild guess that the person who forgets who she is is going to end up with Albus. I could be wrong, I could be right, but I know that I'm excited to see which way this turns. :P
Now on to the kinda crit. :D
At the beginning of this chapter (and on other parts in the first three chapters) right after the part about the unknown girl, it goes back to James. There was only one or two extra spaces to show that it was a different scene. It took me a moment to realize that it was a different scene and not a flashback. This might already be changed, but it would be easier to understand if you had something separating the part instead of spaces. In the example I mentioned above, personally, I think that it was easy to mistake that for a flash back because James was a Healer. Wait. It said 'doctor', not 'healer'. Sorry! But in other parts, I still think it would be easier to separate it with something other than spaces.
Also, is it just me, or does what people say (except the doctors) say sound too proper? I forget an example. But the adults I've been around are never that proper, including my teachers. But then again Albus is a lawyer. Other people a very proper, and it just seems off. But we don’t know the characters very well, do I could be very wrong about this! This is probably just me being very nit-picky, but I thought I would mention it. Is there a reason why they're so proper when they talk, or did it just come out like that?
There might've been something else I wanted to say, but I forget now. I want to read the rest of the story! Great job with the twists! This is the best story (fanfiction and real, published stories) I've read with twists in it so far! I always can figure out the plot, and with this one so far I've be surprised! Again, great job, Jess!
Ah, I knew you were reading this story, and I was excited to see what you thought of it. It started off rocky (very rocky), but after I got over the initial shock of 'yes, i'm writing a novel', I started to develop my own personal style. I didn't really have one yet. Usually, only an idiot would undertake a novel-length piece for their first ever fic, but yeah...that's me. :D
I fully acknowledge that my dialogue is stilted and kind of weird. Each time I go back to read something from the beginning of the story, I cringe a little bit because of it, but I'm going to leave it as is, since it does create a path to where I am now as a writer, and where I was in October when I started it. I will say, though that James's speech in court, his 'any last words', was supposed to sound rehearsed, because it was. He always knew that he was going up the river, and soon, you'll see why. If you thik you've got a handle on the convolution that is this story, holy shit, you're in for a shock. The insanity has only begun.
I have a slirght feeling Harry lied just a little bit about how that diary really works. I'm glad James can have all these things, I'm not sure if you intended it this way but to me it's like a sign that he deserves these things. As for Lily, i'm starting to think that Goyle did somethign really bad to her to keep her quiet. Could father Gregory be Goyle Sr.? or is that jsut a coincidence of names? I like this story more and more :)
Ah, well, as much as I'd love to answer these questions, the answers to all of them will be revewaled in the next few chapters. The majority of the circumstances under which James was sent to prison will be clarified up through Chapter 9. The events will definitely either come as a surprise or they won't but either way, you'll probably mainline the next few chapters furiously. :D
Have fun, and I'm happy to see that you're still reading. I shall see you again soon, then.
This was great! All chapters have been, though the family-stick-together theme stood a bit still for my tastes. This chapters brings the story in motion again, with Lily and the diary. Good work!
It's funny that you should say that the first few chapters drag a bit, because it's where you meet Albus as he was at that time. You might long for those chapters once you hit the craziness that is on the way. So many things are set to happen, I almost envy you not knowing what happens.
Happy reading, and thanks for reviewing!
Three cheers for Harry, for being there for James!
I'm glad you appreciate this part. Harry may do some categorically stupid things in this story, but he did them all because he loves his family. Just remember that as you get into later chapters, and don't hate him as much as some of the other readers.
You have my complete attention. Please, please continue writing, I love it. Unlike quite a few of the fanfics I've read on here this one is actually well conceived and plotted. Once again, please continue writing and I will continue to read and review.
Author's Response: [p]Wow, you have MY complete attention! You totally made my day. :D[/p] [p]Not to worry, you will most definitely find out what happens, because I'm pushing this story through as fast they'll put it up, and there's much, much more to come from my beloved characters. I chose Harry's children around which to center my story because it's nearly a blank slate with which to work. I can do things like send one of them to prison, because while we know none of the Trio would never kill anyone, we don't know James, Albus and Lily as well as them.[/p] [p]Well, again, thank you for reading and keep an eye out, because I have no intention of stopping this story. I think of it as my brain child, since I formulated the entire story around the first line, and it was all good things from there.[/p]