Reviews For Ignorance
Reviewer: Sapphire at Dawn
Date: 04/06/10 13:47
Chapter: Stranger

Wow, Becca! Angsty or what?

I liked your use of second person; it gave a sort of detached closeness to the story (if that makes any sense at all...) if you know what I mean. It was like I could feel his exasperation and sadness at the situation.

I also liked your use of the lyrics. I’m not a huge Paramore fan, but they fit well. I thought that in places they told her story as well as his, especially the first set, the ones that began ‘I don’t wanna hear your sad songs...’. It was very intriguing. The last line was brilliant, I love lines like that, and it brought all the sadness of what had happened home. I think that you should have perhaps left the last set of lyrics out and just had it ending on that last, wonderful line. For me, as someone who doesn’t really know the song, they don’t really fit. They seemed to be saying ‘fine, I’ll leave. It’s over’, but the end of the story didn’t say that. It seemed a bit contrasting.

I liked Charlie’s character in this and the way he’s so indecisive in the middle, not wanting to let her go when she cries, even though she’s been doing what she does. What I think would have made it even better, though, is a few thoughts back to how it used to be, how it was before she started going out all night and the relationship they once had. The contrast of what was and what is would have been great.

However, I don’t really like the spelling of Cassidee’s name. To me it’s awkward to read and jarrs the sentences when it’s mentioned. I think it would feel a lot smoother if you had spelled it ‘Cassidy’, but other than that, I really liked this story and I think you’ve done a fantastic job of it. Definitely not a waste of time!

Sarah x

Author's Response: Aww, Sarah, thank you so much! This was, as well as my first endeavor in writing D/A, my first time writing second person, and I'm glad you liked it! It was a bit tricky, keeping tenses right and all, but I feel that it was the best for the purposes of the fic. I'm glad you liked the last line too; I was a bit indecisive about that and I wasn't sure about it, but my beta didn't say anything against it and so I decided to leave it, and right now I'm glad I did! I'm happy you liked Charlie's character, too, because I wasn't too sure how he would play in this. I knew I wanted a character we didn't know a lot about, but I didn't know if he would be the best for the job. And as for Cassidee's name, there was a reason for hte spelling at the time, althought it escapes me now :) Thanks again for reading and reviewing! {BeccA}

Reviewer: ron lover
Date: 10/03/09 16:43
Chapter: Stranger

Becca, I really love this story. You did a great job for your first Dark Angsty story. I really love your character Cassadee. I love the characterization of her. She is very origional to me. It was a lot of fun reading about what she did. Charlie was very good too. He was extreemly believable. I like how he delt with everything.

Don't even get me started on your plot. It was so good! It was a very interesting story to read. It made me want to read all of it at once to see what happened next. The way wrote it was good too. It added something more to it to make it more interesting.

I love the letter at the end. I can't immigine how Charlie would feel about her liveing with Alex, and then the post script must've been terribale for him. My absolute favorite part of the story was the last sentence. It was a bit sarcastic and dark at the same time and I love it. It was a great way to end the story.

The way you use the lyrics in the story is great, too. You don't put them in every other line, but you don't not use them (does that make sense?). They really add an ephesis to the story. It was a good idea to end the story with the lyrics. It makes things final along with the sentence before the lyrics.

Just so you know, reading this didn't waste my time. : D

Author's Response: Aw, thank you so much Alyssa! I'm so happy you like it; I'm rather partial to it too. XD I'm glad you like Cassadee, she was a pretty fun character to write. Normally I don't really like girls like her, and it was shockingly fun to write about one. And Charlie...he was a doormat for a bit of this, wasn't he? I can't sympathize with people like that so I kind of liked putting myself into his shoes. I'm glad you like the plot too; it was inspired by the song, and what kind of story might be behind it, ya know? And Cassadee's letter is really what makes it a D/A fic. How much is must have hurt Charlie, and how much he probably regrets that part of his life...Yeah. :) And the lyrics were the part I was a bit concerned about. I wasn't sure whether or not they would add to the story or take away from it. I guess they added? Thanks for the comment on the last sentence, too. I liked it was well. :) I'm so glad it didn't waste your time, too! {BeccA}

Reviewer: ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor
Date: 09/27/09 4:47
Chapter: Stranger

Ah, it was fascinating, definitely not a waste of time! The concept was interesting, and while I never really pictured Charlie Weasley ending up in such a ludicrous marriage, but the way you told the story was excellent.

The changing from first to second person was a little throwing, but other than that, everything looks good!

Author's Response: Did I accidentally change from first to second person?? Whoops! I meant for it to be second person for the whole story... Heh. Thanks so much for your praise, though! It means a lot that you like the way I told this even if it wasn't how you pictured Charlie's marriage. I have to admit, I never really pictured it too, but while I was writing it, it just became more plausible to me. I wanted to pick a minor character we never really heard much about so that I could manipulate the story to fit how I needed it to...And I guess Charlie was the first one I came up with. But that made it difficult to change due to his personality that we did see in the books. It's a lot different from how I originally planned...But I think it's better this way. Thanks again so much for reading and reviewing! {BeccA}

Reviewer: sorrow_of_severus
Date: 09/26/09 21:29
Chapter: Stranger

Wow, Becca, I'm very impressed by this story! You really manage to make the reader feel Charlie's pain. The ending (Cass's death) was quite shocking, but somehow felt oddly appropriate, something not often said about a character's death. I guess I feel she kind of had it coming. However, the note, and especially the obituary, managed to make her death heart-wrenching.

Author's Response: *squees* Laura, this made my day. Thank you sooo much! I'm glad you felt that way about Cass dying; I really hated to do it, but she did sort of have it coming in her own way. I'm so happy you liked it though; I wasn't sure what kind of reaction I would get. But as it's my first foray into Dark/Angst, I think it worked. *smiles* Thanks again! *huggles* {BeccA}

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