wow i really like this concept and these first 2 chapters were awesome!! i look forward to more :)
Hello, Andi. Well, as you always review my stories and chapters, I thought I should return the favour. Have to say, I really like the idea for this fic, and I do hope you continue with it. I'd love a chapter featuring a listener. Lee and Kingsley come through very nicely and despite the fact that there are no dialogue tags, I managed to follow the different voices very well.
I have a few nitpicks (sorry)
We anguish this calamity Hmm, I'm not sure you can 'anguish' something. I get what you're saying, but I think anguish is a noun, and using it as a verb just strikes me as a bit odd.
We advise you from saying it. I think this would read better as 'We advise you not to say it. It's a clearer instruction, then.
Other kinds of magical creatures such as centaurs or the werewolves, who are not supporting the winner of the Big Bully Award, are also having great difficulties with ‘the New World’. Right, because of the phrasing it sounds as if all the werewolves and centaurs are against Voldemort. We know that the majority of werewolves are on Voldy's side. I think you should change it to 'some werewolves' or 'those werewolves.'
However, they're minor points, and didn't detract from the story or the flow. Update - Please! ~Carole~
Author's Response: Thank you for the review, and the nitpicks! - how I love them. :P I'll change them right now. Hm. I guess I should work on the next chapter some more... it'll be up soon. I hope. Thanks again!
I really loved that story, it was really interesting! It made me feel like I was reading DH again, but there was things I didn't know :D *sigh* *wishes dh could go on forever, or at least the hp series* < but that's what fanfiction is for, right! :D
Well, that was amazing, anyway, and I think... you need to write the next chapter, miss :D
~ Annalise x :)
Author's Response: Lol, yeah. Everytime I read an hp book I think about that and then go on MN :D *guilty* Erm. Maybe I should work on the next chapter... it's about half way done ... :S Thank you for the review, Annalise. I didn't really expect another one for this chapter, so you really made my day :D (You do a lot. hehe) <3 Andi
Hi Andi! I have to say, I really liked this story. I think it's probably very close to what actually happened, and I love that you slip little things in like Neville's Gran's birthday, and the invention of the name 'Chief Death Eater', which I had forgotten about. I also really liked Lee Jordans dialogue and the humour you managed to fit in there; it was incredibly close to how JKR writes him. Fantastic!
There were a couple of places where certian words were in the wrong context, like 'anguish' in 'we anguish this calamity' and from' in 'we advise you from saying it'. Other than that, I couldn't see many mistkaes.
Author's Response: Thanks, Sarah! Ah, there is a positive side to only having two fic up... more reviews for them! (well, with the review crew) I will fix that now, and thank you -again :D Andi
eep. Andi! I loved this! I could totally hear Lee Jordan saying all that. It seemed just like the one that Harry, Ron, Hermione listened to! Well not like it, I meant that it looks so reeeeeeal! It's wonderful!
Author's Response: Thank you Ronnie! As that is what I was aiming for, I am glad you think I accomplished it.
Wow you paid really good attention to detail. Even the password at the end! And a birthday too. Nice! Very well done. Was River Lee Jordan? Obviously Royal was Kingsley Shacklebolt. Question here, wouldn't him saying he's been a bodyguard for the Muggle ninister kind of give him away if a death eater had been listening? Just wondering. Maybe he regretted saying it afterward. :P
Anyhow it was wonderful -good writing- so so fun to read!!!
Author's Response: lol, thank you so much Hannah! I wasn't really sure about this fic... I should work on it more often, lol. And you're right, it would sorta give him away a bit. I'll make it more general! Thank you again. I hope reading my sad fics doesn't make you wonder about my beta capability, lol. Andrea
Hello, Andi. I'm here to review this lovely story that you made.
I'm glad that you made this story. I've always wanted to read what happend in Potterwatch besides what we heard and now I can. I like everything that you cover in this chapter. I think that the characterization is good. It was easy to tell which person was which, which is always a good thing. I can't wait to find out what happens next in the later chapters.
You're doing a great job on this so far, Andi!
Author's Response: Thank you, Alyssa! I guess i should go and work on the next chapter, then, huh? :P Thanks again!