Wow, this was amazing. And that is a feat for any Harry/Ginny author to get me, an ardent Draco/Ginny shipper, to actually like this ship!
Janie: This OC is…well, she’s just lovely. She is a perfect foil to Harry’s past, as a lonely child. Janie is sympathetic, kind, and real. She becomes a wonderful instrument to showcase Harry and Ginny’s relationship.
Ginny: She exudes confidence. She is savvy, opinionated, and bubbly—in a bright way. The characterisation is spot-on.
Harry: I love how you show his metamorphosis through Janie and still maintain that bashful, awkward boyish charm that is Harry Potter.
2. Narration: By showing Harry and his relationship with Ginny through a stranger’s eyes makes someone like me, who avoids H/G like the plague, really appreciate the relationship. The use of the third person omniscient (limited to one character) was the best way to go.
3. Imagery: You have a gift for imagery. You paint such lovely imagery with so few words.
And I thought of a class assignment when we were eight, an assignment which required us to draw pictures of our family. Harry had gotten in trouble, because he'd drawn a picture of himself and only himself.
Gah. It’s one of those lines that chokes you up. And it’s so Harry.
4. Dialogue and Flow: You.really captured Harry’s speech and how people talk and act in real life. It added to the overall flow of the story and made it a delightful read. There were no guesses. It was simple yet beautiful. Nothing was forced; nothing was convoluted. It was pure bliss to read.
"I was just — I — " Harry seemed unable to come up with a proper response.
"Three hours, Harry," said Ginny, "three hours. I finally went looking for you and it’s a good thing I noticed you through the window of this place; finally that hair of yours comes in handy." She smiled brightly before glancing around and furrowing her brow a little. "Um, Harry, what are you doing in here?"
Needless to say, I loved this piece. The attention to detail was fantastic, including Janie’s observation of Harry’s ‘I must not tell lies’ scar on his hand. I love little things like that. The only negative thing I have to say about this piece is that it wasn’t D/G! *pouts*
Author's Response: Oh, this has got to be one of the best reviews I've ever received. Thanks for commenting on all the specific aspects you liked :) I'm glad you liked Janie and appreciated that it was written from her POV; and of course I'm glad you thought Harry and Ginny in character! And I'm happy to have made a Draco/Ginny shipper enjoy a Harry/Ginny story. One of my closest friends adores Draco/Ginny, and she's always saying I should give them a shot, but I'm too endeared to Harry/Ginny! Thanks for the review :)
awwwwww! its sooo sweet!
Author's Response: Thank you! :)
Awww. Definitely a favorite.
Author's Response: Thanks! :)
Awwwww..............thats sooooo sweeet! Good work with the story
Author's Response: Thanks! I'm glad you liked it.
This one-shot is very enjoyable, and memorable. I loved how you intertwined Harry's Muggle and Wizarding world, the seriousness (the insight into Harry;s earlier life was so sad :( ) and the love. And oh, you managed to make it funny as well. :D I loved seeing the muggle perspective of Harry, from someone who isn't a Dursely xD
Now what I was wondering about, it's only a small detail, but Janie only spares Harry's scar (the I Must Not Tell Lies one) a few seconds of thought. Now if I were to see someone with a scar like that, it would probably bother me for ages...
Here is a typo: "That's right!"I smiled. (add a space)
And here: She thinks engagement rings she be simpler Shouldn't is be 'she thinks engagement rings should be simpler'?
Again, great job. :D
Author's Response: Thank you! I fixed both the typos :) I'm glad you liked the Muggle perspective and the mix of the two worlds. I always like reading stories of that nature, and this way my first try at it. As for the scar -- I'm sure she would think on it more; I'm sure she would have a lot more to think on it, like how he apparently did not go to a school for criminal boys. There's definitely more to the story, but this was only supposed to capture one scene. :)
Wow, I love your story! It really surprised me that not many people write about stuff like this-where harry meets people he knew from when he was with the dursleys, and they wonder what happened to him after primary school. It's refreshing to finally see it.
Author's Response: Yes, I'd imagine there would be more stories of such a nature, too. There's so much to do with the idea! I'm glad you liked this :) Thanks for the review.
Very well orchistrated. I really enjoy your writing!!
Author's Response: Thanks! I'm glad!
That's soooooooooo cute!
Author's Response: Thanks! :)
one word: amazing. i remember why i used to always love to come on this site and read your fics. =)
Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you're reading my stories again :)
i don't often read stories that involve characters from outside of the series, but this is actually really believable and i really love it!
Author's Response: Thanks! I'm glad you gave it a chance and liked it :)
omg im crying!!!!! beautiful, the part tha he only drew himself...AWWW!!
Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it -- and that it could evoke some emotions! :)
wow I loved it
Author's Response: Thanks!
OMG that was such a good fic! I'm almost crying here! Harry is perfect and I love how it was told! I've read a few of your storys and they're all great...like this one!lol Keep writing!
Author's Response: Thanks you! I'm glad you liked this and some of my other stories! :)
that was likeee sooo adorable, thers to little tears on my face and its just likee the most perfectest thing i've ever read!!
Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it! It is a pretty adorable story ;) Thanks for the review!
That was so sweet! I had goosebumps at the end when Jane wished she could go back to comfort little Harry. I think we've all wanted to do that at one time or another. Great job.
Author's Response: I've certainly wanted to! I'm glad you liked it :) Thanks for the review!
Awwwwwwwwwwww! I love fluff, too! This was adorable and well-written, with just enough uncomfortable events for Harry to truly make the story about him. A-freaking-dorable. :-)
Author's Response: Thanks! I'm glad you liked it! It's always hard to make sure an OC doesn't take over a story, so it's good to know you think the story still focused on Harry, despite the alternate POV. :)
Very nice. I think you've got Harry's shyer side down, and I like the things you have Janie remembering from primary school days. She's a very good OC. And obviously she needs a husband. Have you considered marrying her off to one of the unattached wizards... Hmm...let's think... who's available? Makes a difference if you are canon-compliant with epi or not... *wanders off thinking of how you could do this...*
Author's Response: Thanks very much! I'm glad you liked Janie -- there's always a fine line when it comes to OCs. And as for who she could be married off to . . . hmm. . . . ;)
oh my god! I loved it! Especially the silver lining part!
Author's Response: Thanks! :)
What an excellent take on Harry and Ginny's proposal.
I loved the way you combined all of Harry's life. His ten year old self, his present and what he wanted for the future. In particular I loved the external voice. A new person's take on the tale.
I loved the ending, the way she wished she could tell young Harry it was all okay, and the picture of his family. Lyrics as always were excellent.
Thanks for writing this :)
Author's Response: Thanks! I feel bad for little Harry -- his childhood had to have been said -- but he did get Ginny in the end, so it all works out ;) I'm glad you thought it all worked together well and liked the ending!
cute, fluffy what more could u want?
i loved the idea behind this and how it was a totally new charactor telling the story sorounded around one of the main charactors.
i loved the description of harry as cute and dorky. it is so him.
u kept both him and ginny prefectly in charactor.
i also like the little stories janie thought of of harry in school.
Author's Response: Thanks very much! I'm glad you thought Harry and Ginny in character and I definitely can't think of a better way to describe Harry than cute and dorky ;)