Reviews For The Dark Phoenix
Reviewer: nevilleherosnape
Date: 05/09/10 17:14
Chapter: Twenty-Three: An Experiment Gone Awry

ooooooo, as always I enjoyed reading this!! Can't wait for more!!

Author's Response: Glad to see you're along for the ride! New chapter to be submitted to the queue tomorrow.

Reviewer: nevilleherosnape
Date: 04/19/10 11:52
Chapter: Twenty-Two: In the Belly of the Beast

Again, another great chapter!!!

Author's Response: Glad you approve. I had lots of fun imagining the controlled chaos in the archives. Will be submitting next chapter within the next few days.

Reviewer: nevilleherosnape
Date: 04/07/10 11:16
Chapter: Twenty-One: Spectres of the Past

"His hair looks like an arm pit"? Bahahaha! I love the part about Harry's grandparents!

Author's Response: Just goes to show you that the most biting insults donít have to be profane. Humiliation cuts much more deeply than just about anything else.

Reviewer: nevilleherosnape
Date: 03/31/10 9:50
Chapter: Twenty: Aftershock

and the plot thickens.......can't wait for more!

Author's Response: Iím thrilled that youíre so caught up in the plot. Am submitting next chapter to the queue today.

Reviewer: nevilleherosnape
Date: 03/24/10 12:20
Chapter: Nineteen: Quidditch Matters

Love it! Especially the part about Ron in the beginning! Hot head to the end, but so insecure! I really like Vicktor! Great job!

Author's Response: Thanks! Viktor continues to be one of my favorite characters, too. So pleased you liked Ron as well Ė heís the one that I have the most problem writing.

Reviewer: captburke
Date: 03/19/10 21:00
Chapter: Nine: The Jaws of the Trap

We know for sure Dung is the tratior. Not that it makes anyone that much happier. Scrimgeour is still a twit. Hopefully Umbridge will soon be yesterday's news and a prisoner on trial for treason. Interesting article. Did Percy write that? I was a little confused. Will Penny and Percy get back togethe? Do I remember something shady being connected to Penny? Or someone trying to find out if she's connected? It's been a while since I read the first few chapters. I've had problems with trying to read on this site.

Author's Response: This is the first chapter where Penelope Clearwater is introduced in the story Ė or any other of my stories, for that matter. Thereís nothing to recall from other chapters. Youíll find out more about her in upcoming chapters, though.

The article in the Prophet is an uncredited news story. Unlike magazines, newspapers donít always use bylines except in special circumstances, such as when theyíre banking on Rita Skeeterís popularity Ė or notoriety, as the case may be. As the Ministerís Chief of Publicity and Protocol, Percy would have likely drafted a press release about his Departmentís new project. The Prophet would in turn have sent a reporter to get the full story, incorporating quotes from Percy in the process. A future chapter has him recalling how Penny had expertly dealt with reporters who were more intent on her past semi-celebrity status than on the issue at hand

Glad to see youíve discovered this story!

Reviewer: nevilleherosnape
Date: 03/08/10 13:58
Chapter: Eighteen: Diplomacy

FAB!! Love Krum in this! :)

Author's Response: Glad you liked my take on Viktor. I wanted to make him personable enough that Hermione would have maintained the friendship. Shyness aggravated by feelings of not being like everyone else could easily have been misread as surliness during his year at Hogwarts. Thereís more of him to come in the next chapter.

Reviewer: nevilleherosnape
Date: 02/25/10 12:55
Chapter: Seventeen: In Voldemort's Shadow

Oh how thrilled I was to find that you had updated!! I really loved this chapter! You did Olivander alot of justice here! The bit about the two brothers was inspired! Great job!!

Author's Response: So happy you liked my take on Ollivander. I wanted to make him approachable without losing the eccentricity from his first encounter with Harry. Glad to know that the threads I untangled about the Priori Incantatem spell rang true.

Am caught up on other things, so I should be able to update more often. Next chapter is already in queue.

Reviewer: MetamorphmagusLupin
Date: 02/01/10 23:31
Chapter: Sixteen: A Trail of Breadcrumbs

I never thought I'd enjoy reading from Percy's point of view before...Great chapter.

Author's Response: So very pleased you liked my Percy! Heís a bit pathetic at times, but I always felt that he was just someone who had taken a temporary detour. Thanks again!

Reviewer: captburke
Date: 12/02/09 0:07
Chapter: Eight: A Respite in the Weather

Very interesting chapter. Mad-Eye and Kingsley were the perfect set-tup for Tonks. And she handled the reporters questions very well. Hexing them into the next century would have been my first inclination. They wanted sensationalism. They got a very brave Tonks. And there is no doubt Remus was baring his teeth and claws, flattening his ears and swishing his tail thinking about what he could do to the reporter(s). Gotta love Mrs Figg. She is such a great character. Interesting conversation between the three. Lots of things left unsaid but somehow understood. Neville and Luna do make a good pair. It isn't even "opposites attract". I'm not entirely sure she wouldn't be able to somehow communicate with Alice & Frank. She would also shore up Neville's ego and confidence without him or anyone else noticing. There is much more to Luna than most people realize.

Author's Response: Glad you enjoyed the Auror Dept. cutting up. As Kingsley will say in a later chapter, there are sides of his personality that his job rarely allows him to show.

As for Luna, I've always felt that her non-judgemental approach to life was just what Neville needed as an antidote to his Gran. He strikes me as the type who would find Luna's more bizarre comments to be jsut hilarious.

Reviewer: captburke
Date: 11/23/09 0:24
Chapter: Seven: Insomnia

Nice chapter. I like the homelife angle. So Dung didn't steal anything, but we know he will without doubt report to Evil Umbridge exactly what went on at the meeting. Wonder she'll try to do with the info?
It would be nice if society could change their opinion on werewolves. They are only dangerous one nigh a month. The rest of the time you wouldn't have a clue.
And I can see Remus being very worried about his kids being outside at night. Even if it's not a fullmoon with worries about werewolves, there are other animals and/or people who might like to do damage to a small child.
The humor and wit is as good as ever.

Author's Response: Glad to know you liked the humor in this chapter, it was a lot of fun to write. The next one is a bit of a mixed bag, with Tonks featured more prominently. No doubt about it, Remus is a worrier and it will weigh heavily upon him in the chapters to come.

Canít say anything else about ĎDung without that proverbial Kneazle escaping from the bag, though.

Reviewer: captburke
Date: 11/11/09 23:33
Chapter: Six: A Call to Arms

Very, very interesting. Dung and the Toad are related? A very creative and imaginative plot twist. The set-up is inspired and I'm sure will prove an interesting exercise. LIking this story.

Author's Response: So happy you appreciated my twist with ĎDung. The sins of Peter Pettigrew cast a long shadow, donít they? More villainous surprises ahead in upcoming chapters.

Reviewer: I-luv-Hogwarts
Date: 10/31/09 12:23
Chapter: Five: The War Museum

This is amazing, please update soon!

Author's Response: So pleased you're enjoying the tale so far. I hope to have the next chapter submitted to the queue no later than tomorrow. I promise there's lots more to come -- I have the story outlined until the bitter end (not that it's going to be a downer of an ending).

Reviewer: bigtimer
Date: 10/30/09 14:34
Chapter: Five: The War Museum

love it.. great story

Author's Response: Thanks! I'm really enjoying writing this one as the characters can all loosen up without the threat of doom hanging over their heads. You'll find that the villians are actually more insidious and more like what we all encounter in the "real" world. Lots more to come.

Reviewer: captburke
Date: 10/29/09 18:03
Chapter: Five: The War Museum

#12 as a War Museum is perfect. To Sirius it was a war zone while he was growing up, and unfortunately a place to be confined in during a war. To the OOTP and Harry, Ron, and Hermione it was a place to make plans and strategize to bring about the end of war. It is easy to see Luna being the one putting everything together. And Mrs Figg would not only be comfortable with anyone who came to the museum, she suits Luna's personality and they would work perfectly with one another.
And being able to move about in the magic world pretending to be just an elderly and forgetful witch would be a piece of cake for her.
Wonder what she found in the archives? Did Umbridge not graduate? Was she a Slytherin? That probably wouldn't cause such a huge reaction. Related to known Death Eaters? A Muggleborn? That wouldn't cause a reaction. Some relation to Voldy or the Malfoys? Doubt it's any of the above. Will await the revelation with baited breath.
Again an outstanding chapter. Tantalizing you with pieces of the puzzle, but not boring with details you don't want or need to know. Giving you a view of a world you'd love to be part of.

Author's Response: Thanks for the glowing review. Somehow, I never could see Harry making a home at Grimmauld Place, but it seemed a waste to just let it get seedier and seedier. There is a certain irony in it becoming a monument to the Order that helps to vindicate Sirius and Regulus both.

You will definitely find out what Mrs. Figg discovered in the next chapter. Without giving anything away, Iíll just say that it clarifies events from the fifth book as well. Hope to have Chapter Six submitted on Monday.

Reviewer: fuelledbyali
Date: 10/17/09 17:39
Chapter: One: Prologue

I wasn't sure which chapter to review on, but I love both this fic and it's prequel, though I don't think I've ever reviewed :).
Thank you for writing!

Author's Response: Thanks! I am really enjoying writing these stories as well. More to come, too. Can you believe I just barely started posting this one and I already have an idea for another?

Reviewer: ahattab33
Date: 10/16/09 8:12
Chapter: Four: Rude Awakening

Oh, an update that I see! And get to read!

I was sort of sad you skipped Harry and Ginny's wedding, but you know I like the fluff. :)

I think your characterization of Umbridge was fantastic - your adjectives to describe her voice, her ambition overall, the way she interrupted the reporter. She's still the awful, slimy Umbridge we all came to love to hate - and I think actually agree with Remus' assessment that she's simply in it for herself. If Voldemort offered her opportunities to get ahead, she might have taken them, but she's still hanging around, getting whatever she can offer.

What's sad about this whole chapter is that it that it is a reflection of media and political reality - depending on who's telling the story (and where you hear it from), you get a different idea of what's happening. I feel like Tonks sometimes, yelling, "But that's insane!" to Remus' grim analysis of the reality of the public's sometimes astonishing acceptance of some things. But I think you wrote a very realistic situation here.

I really liked this chapter…how you set up the conversations, how you had them analyze the current situation. It let us see everyone's thought pattern - Tonks' optimism, everyone's trust in Remus, Harry's determination that Umbridge is evil, etc. And it allowed the reader to be involved - does that make sense? Even though I couldn't participate, I still felt like I was sitting right there in the room with them, participating in the conversation. It's something you're very good at, and did frequently in A Hero's Lament, and I don't know if I ever commented on it.

The scene with Fleur was adorable, as well as the one later with Remus (though that was was a little on the bittersweet side, too). I just love Teddy's personality. He's so…I'm having trouble finding the right word. He's got that way of saying things only children can say because they don't know better, like when he smelled his father's drink and interrupted his their conversation, but at the same time, he's definitely Remus' child - he's intelligent and witty, with the dry humor. And he giggled at his father, very cute, still a child. Sometimes he uses rather large words though, and Remus doesn't really talk different to him than he does to the adults (using words like "veritable" seems to be a word his son might not understand).

Very interesting conversation with Remus and Teddy concerning the fact that he's a werewolf. I've seen different takes on this idea, because - how open would you be with your children about something like this? Poor Remus, Teddy was pretty relentless, as children could be, and I thought you made this scene very…I don't know if realistic was the right word, but once again I must comment on Teddy's characterization as a child - he brought up questions in a way that only a child would, and it was kind of like a "But why?" over and over again. I don't know if it makes sense to say that I think you kept your version of Teddy "in character" from what we've seen so far, but he took it in stride and just accepted it and probably made Remus very proud.

Great chapter once again!

~Amanda

Author's Response: Somehow, I knew you would make that comment about the wedding, Amanda. Doing things chronologically here just seemed so boring. But donít despair, we revisit those scenes in flashback by other characters which reveal so much more. You also get to see some of the back-stage action that would not be visible to a guest who was seated for the ceremony itself. Admittedly, you donít get to see Ginny walk down the aisle, but her dress is described enough to see that itís a formal wedding. Itís pretty easy to imagine the rest.

Just to show Iím not anti-wedding though, I did include the ceremony between Remus and Tonks in the prequel Ė although that was a rather unconventional event as well befitted the participants.

Remus is one of those people who just doesnít talk down to children. Consequently, his children learn to understand things beyond their tender years, yet he doesnít overburden Teddy with the word werewolf yet. Knowing him, it will probably be loup-garou that falls from his lips instead. Since Teddy and Phoebe live in a house among four other adults, it is likely that they see themselves as miniature adults more than anything else.

I think part of Remusí obvious popularity with his students is a by product of this as well. At one point, I actually have him suggest to Snape that if he treated his students more like adults they might surprise him. Needless to say, this doesnít sit well with Snape. (That particular conversation is not part of this tale, but there are quite a few Remus/Snape confrontations coming up; they are particular favorites of mine.)

Thanks for the glowing compliments about the conversations. Perhaps itís just a theatrical technique, but moving the action via dialogue does seem to give you insights into the characters much more than simple narration would. I find I really enjoy searching out just the right words that Remus, Snape, or Hermione would use.

Iíve tried to make Fleur seem a lot less vacuous than other versions, allowing her a rather wry sense of humor that is so very, very Gallic. Many will scratch their heads about her friendship with Remus; but it has a lot to do with the kind letter he wrote to her in her native language after Bill was attacked at the end of HBP. Another missing moment that I supply in my previous stories. After all, this is labeled as a sequel so it builds upon the previous foundations.

Reviewer: captburke
Date: 10/15/09 17:36
Chapter: Four: Rude Awakening

Umbridge really needs her mind and mouth washed out with lye soap. She is an evil, evil b....! I'm sure someone will find a way to shut her up. Fudge is just a total moron. I can see there is still a little darkness to be fought.
Teddy is a great kid. Such a perfect mixture of Remus and Tonks. Wonder if he's even heard of werewolves yet? Bet there will be a few interesting conversations regarding that. Both kids are extremely intelligent and it will be very interesting to see how they'll interact with Harry and Ginny's kids. Another well written and enjoyable chapter.

Author's Response: So nice to know that youíre enjoying the story so far. This chapter certainly takes a turn into darker territory as the first face of evil is revealed. Fudge may be a moron, but he will demonstrate his manipulative nature in the upcoming chapter Ė no wonder he was attracted to political office!

Umbridge reminds me so much of Ursula in the Little Mermaid, itís uncanny. But I donít portray her in that manner. If I had to wager a guess, I would say JKR intended her to represent those who continued to deride the Harry Potter tales as being satanic and anti-Christian in nature. No amount of logic or truth would get them to back down until the seventh book was published and the Christian metaphors were so overwhelming that they finally desisted.

Next chapter will introduce Umbridgeís counterpart in the form of kindly Mrs. Figg. Not to mention taking you to a new and unplumbed (original) location.

Reviewer: ahattab33
Date: 10/03/09 13:08
Chapter: Three: Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

I missed the 2nd chapter but I finally caught up this Saturday afternoon.

Your stories are just such lovely, engrossing reads. I'm assuming based on the extensive back story and the other reviews that Sera is part of Remus/Tonks story (*that I still haven't read yet but am planning to...*)?

I love the children's personalities as well. The attitude and the humor and the intelligence and boldness is something I'd expect from Tonks and Remus children, especially with Harry and Ginny as their godparents.

Great chapters, and I hopefully will be checking more often for updates!

~Amanda

Author's Response: Nice that you're caught up for now. Another chapter is in queue. I was really worried that I had made the children too precocious, but I wanted them to contribute to the plot and the dialogue as well. Your comments eased my worries.

Sera is from the prequel tale that traces Remus' undercover work with the werewolves that takes place during a major portion of HBP. Will Overstreet is the alias that the Order prepares for him to assume. After all, you know what happens to spies who are discovered...

Reviewer: captburke
Date: 10/02/09 22:42
Chapter: Three: Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

Wonderful. This is such a fun story to read. Adding Sera from the werewolf camp and giving her a loving family makes it even better. The kids and Dobby are priceless. This is great therapy for me, let alone for Harry.

Author's Response: Thanks for the glowing compliments. More fun with all the characters coming up in the next chapter. And evil arrives in chapter four which is already in queue.

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