MuggleNet Fan Fiction
Harry Potter stories written by fans!

Name: The_Dream_Team (Signed) · Date: 12/03/09 18:06 · For: Magic is Might
this was a very good chapter! i feel so bad for all these dead people who are so oblivious to the fact that theyr ghosts or whatever it is that they are. i hope you update soon because im dying to see what happens next!

Name: Essence of Potter (Signed) · Date: 12/03/09 15:37 · For: Magic is Might
Hello! I've been meaning to read this for ages but just haven't gotten the chance! The summary is really good. Any way, I'm really enjoying this story so far, but, the only thing I don't like is that it's moving really slowly. I know you're probably busy with RL and stuff but I think it would really help move the story on quicker if the chapters were a bit longer. Otherwise I can't wait to read more!
Fi X

Name: lobo_blanco1986 (Signed) · Date: 11/26/09 21:05 · For: Yaxley and Thicknesse
I love, hurry and finish I want to know what happens....

Author's Response: Thanks for the review, I'm glad you like the story. Next chapter is in the queue, so it shouldn't be long!

Author's Response: Thanks for the review, I'm glad you like the story. Next chapter is in the queue, so it shouldn't be long!

Name: sophiewalpole (Signed) · Date: 11/16/09 9:08 · For: Yaxley and Thicknesse
this is really good so far, hope youll update soon im really getting into it. ive added it as a favourite so i should get an email when you update. cant wait to read the rest.

Author's Response: Thanks for the review and I'm glad you're liking it. The story's all written so it's just a case of getting it sent to my betas and getting it validated. There's five more chapters to go. Thanks for reviewing!

Name: The_Dream_Team (Signed) · Date: 11/15/09 13:20 · For: Yaxley and Thicknesse
ooo intersting! ok. so is this when harry had the reserection stone and sirius was called out of the vail and now he has to get there? so he is like a ghost? is this what happened to James and Lily too? that makes sense! great chapter! please update soon!

Author's Response: Thanks so much for all your reviews! Your guesses are good ;)

Name: Karaley Dargen (Signed) · Date: 10/31/09 15:47 · For: Dolorous Place
Oh god and they still don't realise it... it's crushing my poor old heart, Sarah!

But at least I know now that the war has been over for a while... but for how long? And when are they going to meet Sirius? And WHERE/what exactly are they? So many questions... so much for you to answer... in your next chapter? *wink wink, nudge nudge*

Overall to your story... it's a great, and very original idea. I think you're doing really really well so far. The rather short chapters work really well for the style and pace of your story. I feel a lot with your characters, and while you're not throwing them in our faces, I think your subtle characterisation works great too. Your description just rocks, I don't have other words for it. Also, the progress you show James and Lily making in trying to figure things out seems very... well, realistic. I really can't wait for more now!

Name: Karaley Dargen (Signed) · Date: 10/31/09 15:43 · For: Desperate, Deciding
ARGH, this is so sad... How they don't realise that they're dead... I wonder how long they've been dead for – you know, since the paper is peeling off the walls... has Hagrid just left with Harry, or have their souls been around for years and years?

And they still think Peter hasn't betrayed them... this is insanely sad.

Name: Karaley Dargen (Signed) · Date: 10/31/09 15:40 · For: Through the Veil

Your characterisation is flawless here. Ooh I can't wait to see where you're taking him.. (to me, no doubt. hee hee. sorry, couldn't resist. Never can resist Sirius!)

The way you show his confusion at his situation, and what he experiences after he fell through the veil... great.

Name: Karaley Dargen (Signed) · Date: 10/31/09 15:36 · For: Beneath the Rubble
Oh oh oh. The description here is GREAT. Wow. I'm half lost for words. This is amazing – the way James wakes up and is all confused... and that little ray of hope as Lily wakes up... and then (again) it all goes down to the end. I love your chapters. They are short, yet they show so much, and cause so many emotions. I feel so sorry for the two of them.... I mean, sure, I always have, but this puts their situation in a whole new light. I hardly ever thought about James and Lily in that light – how they would feel after that night.

Only one minor thing though... "..., but Lily didn't look so happy."

This sounds a bit.. odd. I don't know, It doesn't seem to fit the rest of your amazing description... But maybe it's just me :D

Author's Response: Again, thanks so much! I'll have a look at the line you mean. Thanks for pointing it out.

Name: Karaley Dargen (Signed) · Date: 10/31/09 15:32 · For: Prologue - The Last Moment of Normality
I can't believe I haven't left you a review yet. Actually I really can't so if I've written this before, forgive me... I actually added this story to my favourites, but forgot that it was YOU who wrote it! Now, now, now. This is lovely. I absolutely love (in a bitter-sweet way) how you show those last moments of James' and Lily's lives. I'm completely convinced that this is exactly how it happened... with such few words, you manage to create such a great atmosphere... you actually make this little happy bubble of normality (even in the war) grow and grow... and then it bursts again, reminding me that this is a canon story and everything *sad sigh* But that's not speaking against your story of course! It's lovely and great... I didn't know you knew your way around with James and Lily so well!

Author's Response: Oh wow. Thanks so much, Kara! Can't really think of much more to say than that!

Name: IckleRonnieX (Signed) · Date: 10/26/09 19:08 · For: Prologue - The Last Moment of Normality
Ooh, this story is great and very original!

Sorry about my lack of constructive criticism but I am not good at it, really... :p

I like this story muchly! I hope you update soon!

Author's Response: Thanks Ronnie! Chapter six is being sent to my betas today. Thanks for reviewing :)

Name: The_Dream_Team (Signed) · Date: 10/26/09 18:22 · For: Dolorous Place
ahhhh! this was really good but kinda short... i still want to know what is going on! eek! i hope that you can update soon cuz this is a really excellent story! i cant wait to see what happens next!

Name: Equinox Chick (Signed) · Date: 10/10/09 5:05 · For: Desperate, Deciding
OOh, heartrending. This is very sad, especially when Lily says she can't face losing James too.

Hmm, I have a small quibble - or query really. This is reading as if they've been dead for several years and are only waking now that Harry needs them (same with Sirius, I presume), so are you thinking it was another form of them that came out of Voldemort's wand in GOF? Are they going to remember that? Damn! I need to know now, but I'll have to wait for the updates.

*rushes off to your duelling thread*

Very good story.


Author's Response: I really want to tell you, but I want the reader to be in the same sort of situation as the characters who have no idea until the end what it going on. Oh what the hell, I doubt it'll ruin the story. Yes, they do remember in the end, when they realise what is happening. Thanks for the review *goes to check drabble thread*

Name: Equinox Chick (Signed) · Date: 10/10/09 4:52 · For: Beneath the Rubble
Oh My Word! I love this story. This is a very original idea. I love the fact that James and Lily are 'waking up' in their old house. You eye for detail is superb - the ivy trailing over the house, the rotting toy broomstick. Very atmospheric.

I adored the first chapter. Your James and Lily are very natural with Harry, and it doesn't come over at all forced the way they speak to him, play with him etc. Too often authors don't quite get the baby/parent interraction correct but you pulled that off very well.

I've just seen the next chapter's about Sirius, I so I must go and read his story.

Sorry, not ultra constructive, but it's a lovely story. ~Carole~

Author's Response: Thanks, Carole, I'm glad it came off all right. I was slightly worried about their interactions with Harry; I have no idea how a one year old behaves, so I'm glad it's realistic. Thanks for reviewing.

Name: Miss Spelt (Signed) · Date: 10/10/09 4:21 · For: Desperate, Deciding
Wow.... really interesting concept, and really well written. Bravo :)

Author's Response: Thank you very much, and thanks for the review :)

Name: The_Dream_Team (Signed) · Date: 10/10/09 1:16 · For: Desperate, Deciding
yay! that was amazing! thank you for updating! this is such a good story and i am going 2 add it to my favorites as soon as possible! this was a reLly good chapter and lily and james were just perfect together. great characterization there. im still cunfused about if they are dead or not because it seems like they can touch objects so the rnt ghosts but the house is all dusty and rotting so it must be years after the attack... please update soon cuz im dying to see what happens next!

Author's Response: Thanks for reading and reviewing again. *cackles in an evil fashion* I'm so glad you're confused, you're meant to be! I don't want you finding out until the charaters do!

Name: Prongsy lover (Signed) · Date: 10/05/09 21:36 · For: Through the Veil
I'm concerned because the moderators haven't accepted my story yet *or denied it* and it has been waiting 2 1/2 days, I mean, I'm new at this so maybe this isn't such a long wait... sincerely, wait you don't need to know who it's from 'cause it says but I'm to lazy to erase it, oh maybe I should have because it is quicker to just click backspace, I will stop annoying you and stop writing now, from your favorite psycho, crazy, *questioneer. {*not a word}

Author's Response: Two and a half days is fine. This chapter was in the que longer than that. The mods are busy people who have real lives too, and they have a lot of stories to look over. Be patient. This chapter was in the que for about two weeks.

Name: The_Dream_Team (Signed) · Date: 09/23/09 16:09 · For: Through the Veil
no lily and james!? o well i like sirius 2! but i am still confused about why james and lily are alive! but poor sirius. is he sorta alive too? do they just wander around even tho theyr dead? hmmmm... i hope you update soon because this sory has really grabbed my attention and its really good and i want 2 read more! good job!! =D

Author's Response: Thanks very much for reviewing again, the next chapter is in the que so *hopefully* should be up soon. I'm glad it's having the desired effect aka making you really confused! It's meant to! Thanks again for reviewing :)

Name: The_Dream_Team (Signed) · Date: 09/23/09 15:58 · For: Beneath the Rubble
whoa! wait! why didnt i see this chapter up?? okay then... wow that was really good, but im oober cunfuzzed! rnt they dead? are they dead? wouldn't some1 notice they wer alive? or r they ghosts? ghosts would have pulses tho! well im off to read the next chapter so maybe some things will be explained!

Name: welshdevondragon (Signed) · Date: 09/20/09 15:58 · For: Beneath the Rubble
I really enjoyed this chapter- though I have to say stick a collapsing buliding covered in plants into a story and you've got me happy.
I love the complete contrast in tone from the beginning of the first chapter to thebeginning of the second.
I also like the way James' first thought was anger and Peter, but his second was looking for his wife and child. I think that shows how much he's matured- I also thought it was very realisitc that he was so bent on searching for them that he did not really think about the state the house was in.
I think the most powerful thing however was James remembering he did not like having the curtains closed because he liked the night sky, and the promise of freedom, and then the fact that once he gains freedom it is to find daylight and rubble.
One thing is that the ending of this chapter seems very rushed. I'm sorry I can't really give any more constructive criticism than that, but the shift from joy at finding Lily alive and realising Harry is not with her could possiblky have been emphasised further by a bit more of a build up to finding Lily in the rubble. I don't know- but I really did enjoy this chapter in particular and really think the concept is an interesting one- looking forward to reading the next chapter!

Author's Response: Thanks very much for reviewing! I'll have another look at the ending when I've got the time. Thanks again :)

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