I accidentally read this story again yesterday. (I do that.) Your writing has improved since this early story, but I still like it for things that have been strong throughout -- the characterization and attention to detail.
This morning I was scrabbling around my nightstand for my glasses and I remembered this chapter and how Harry did the same thing -- of course he did!
And, while it doesn't relate to this chapter specifically, I was on the bus yesterday and the thought came to mind, "People who don't like Ginny in the real books would not like this Ginny."
(actually, that portion of the review should probably go with A&S, which I was also accidentally reading yesterday.)
Anyway, I admire your work. I'll try to leave more reviews so that you know.
I think I know what you mean by "accidentally" reading something. I sometimes click on a story, or pick up a book, not intending to read it, but I end up getting sucked in. I keep looking at this story , spotting errors and thinking, I must fix that... Perhaps one day i will.
My Ginny is, I hope as close to canon as I can make her. I've honestly never understood the Ginny-haters, even by the end of CoS it's obvious that she's strong and self reliant.
There are a few times when it's the reviews which keep me writing, or at least, push me into writing more quickly.
I always thought that Hagrid might have been close to the Creevey brothers, I was under the impression Denis rather admired him after the ordeal before the sorting ceremony in book four. I would have guessed at his attendance to Collins funeral.
I suspect that like you said earlier inexperience or it never having occurred to you might might played a part in his absence. There really seemed to be little flaw in this and is quite good if it is your first work.
Author's Response: Ellorah
I will admit to ignoring Hagrid in all of my stories. Itâ€™s an oversight which I really must try to remedy.The fact that the first story I chose to write was novel-length probably says more about my inexperience as a writer than anything else. My many betas (especially the ones for this story) deserve a huge thank you.
Nice opening moment for Harry at the tomb I a, really enjoying your writing style.
Author's Response: Thank you.
I've read several after the battle stories where the loose ends (like THE ELDER WAND!) are forgotten or ignored. I've tried to tie as much up as I could.-N-
Oh my gosh. I am on edge. I love it so far. I can't wait to read more! Good work! ~MJ
Author's Response: Thanks for the review. This was the first story I wrote, and it remains the only one of my novel-length stories which is complete. -N-
i was skimming the review and saw that you made a spreadsheet of post-DH events. impressive! i've been rather amazed at how all your stories fit together and complement each other so perfectly - and now i have the answer =D this is an awesome story. i'm glad you didn't let george sink into boozy depression, and i find hermione's parents wrath to be highly appropriate. the characters' tendency for PDA amuses me a lot, by the way. you write brilliantly =)
Author's Response: Thanks for the review.
My spreadsheet continues to expand as I add births deaths marriages and other significant relationships to more minor characters. That way I know who Lavender is with. I try to tell the relationship stories in the background, behind the main plot. Sometimes they bring themselves to the fore. George has his boozy moments (though you haven’t seen them yet).
I really enjoyed reading this story, it made me forget that the books have officially ended by the way you started off directly after book 7.
I got tears in my eyes as well as laughing out loud - I liked "The Chosen One's Chosen One".
Harry is proving to be a great leader, and Ginny is big flirt (in a good way!) and I look forward to reading the next adventure!
Thanks for the review.
I hope to fit a lot more stories in between the end of the Battle and the epilogue.
Given that there is a lot of grief (and several funerals) in this story I tried to add a little bit of humour when I could.
Harry has always been a great leader, he seems to have his best ideas in a crisis. Ginny overdoes the flirting in the next story.-N-
I have to say that I have treated both this and the Aurors and Schoolgirls stories as the 8th Book in the HP series. I feel very disappointed in the way that J.K.R. ended Deathly Hallows. Far too much information to just let it end that way. These stories have filled the gap that was left open. Your writing is absolutely brilliant and such a enjoyment to read. I am hoping that Aurors and Schoolgirls ends as well as Grave Days. Please keep it up! Thank You!
Author's Response: Thanks for the kind words. JKR left a lot of gaps to be filled, and all of my stories are an attempt to fill them with my own personal vision of the nineteen years. I may occasionally go beyond the epilogue. Though I’m more likely to look at other events during DH (as with Summer of ’97, Fred & George’s Busy Day and Tales of the Battle). More A&S soon. -N-
Oh I know what you mean about having fun writing the future histories of the Potter characters. I have lots of stories floating around in my head, but none have come to fruition yet. :) Perhaps one day when I get some time away from teaching English, I'll be able to write my own fanfic. I would definitely be apprehensive about letting everyone read it though. My writings are a little bit like my children. It's hard for me to give them up! Anyway, I'll certainly check out all of your other fanfics. You've definitely become one of my favorite fanfic authors! :)
I have one future history, there is a spreadsheet and a lot of notes detailing births, deaths weddings and a rough timeline of everything from the end of the battle to well beyond the epilogue. Strangely, the most “far future” of my stories so far is “The Confession of Augusta Longbottom” in Tales of the Battle.
Happy New Year.-N-
After re-reading this story in its entirety, I think I need to review it and say how much I like it.
Despite what some others have said, I think the Harry/Ginny relationship has been well written. In HPB they behave in a similar way, but all the other things that are happening at the same time makes people forget about it. I also like your portrayal of Ron and Hermione, and some of the other relationships that we know aren't going to work out: because people, especially after a war like this, do end up going out with people they then split up with.
The only criticism I have is that too many of the original members of the DA survive and there don't seem to be any new members mentioned. I understand you don't want to introduce unnecessary extras, but Neville mentions writing signs that the DA is 'still recruiting' and a lot of original members won't be at Hogwarts (as you explore with Colin's photos and things, which I think is excellent). But the battle itself must be mainly original DA members as I can't see huge numbers of younger students sneaking back like Colin, though maybe one or two others did, and FIFTY PEOPLE DIE FIGHTING VOLDEMORT. I just don't think it's possible all of the DA apart from Colin survived.
Other than that, I think it's a fantastic story and I'm really looking forward to reading the sequel.
Thanks for the review. I’m glad that you like the story.
The Harry/Ginny relationship is at the heart of this story (and most of my other stuff, too). I’m glad that you like it. I don’t think that I made them overly affectionate, especially not after what they’ve been through. I found Ron and Hermione more difficult to write (though I hope that I’m improving there, too). I made a conscious decision not to have Angelina and George (or Neville and Hannah) get together immediately for the reasons you give.
I know that Neville did recruit others, but I made a decided not to include any “new” DA members at Colin’s funeral because Colin wasn’t at school that year. I gave the deaths a lot of thought.
The “Free DA” outside school, consisted of: Hannah (who’d already missed most of her sixth year); Justin, Colin and Dennis (Muggle-borns and in hiding), and; Katie, Cho, Angelina, Lee, Alicia, Fred and George (and Katies friend Leanne who was their mole inside the ministry). Part of their story is explored in “Fred and George’s Busy Day”. “F&G” also provides the opportunity for me to kill off a couple of adult OC’s who respond to the ‘We’re fighting’ call.
The remaining original members (apart from Harry, Ron, Hermione and Dean) were still at school, which makes them all at least half-bloods.
As for the student deaths I reasoned that we know four (arguably five, with Snape) of the dead: Lupin, Tonks, and two DA members, Fred and Colin. We also saw Lavender Brown’s feebly twitching body. I’m of the opinion that had any other known DA member died, JKR would have told us (after all, Colin wasn’t one of the more important characters). So, while it’s possible that other students (including some of Neville’s recruits) died, I decided not to arbitrarily kill any other “known” DA member. I have plans for Lavender (that may be obvious from her appearance at Colin’s funeral. As for the other fatalities, they are teachers, Aurors, Law Officers and parents who arrived when the call came out.
That was great!!!
You are the best writer at getting the true voice of the characters.
Luna was spot on.
Looking forward to the new story.
Keep writing you have a great gift.
Author's Response: Thank you. I am so happy that you like my characterisation. :D I am trying to work on a Luna one-shot, but it’s slow going, she is so difficult to get right. I hope that you enjoy A&S Now that I’ve started writing, I simply can’t stop. -N-
I thought this was one of the best, most well-written, and truest-to-canon stories of "the day after" that I've read in fanfiction. Nice job!
Author's Response: As that’s what I was aiming for, that’s high praise to me (-: Thanks. -N-
Oh please update soon! I am living off this story just now. You paint Harry and Ginny perfectly. I think that changes in their behavior are completely acceptable given the circumstances. To address and issue brought up in another review, I feel that Harry and Ginny should be more affectionate given that they have just made it through a war! I feel that you are dealing with all of the characters perfectly, given what they have been through. I especially love your treatment of George. It is really good to see him going through the process of grieving in a very natural way feeling it in waves of great sadness and sometimes joy. I like when you include his occasional jokes and such, it is exactly how I imagine he should behave.
Although I can certainly understand Hermione's sullen mood, I hope that we soon see the old firey witch we all have come to love.
keep up the good work!
Thanks for the review. I’m trying to write Harry and Ginny as supporting each other, that entails a certain amount of public affection. George’s moods have been varying wildly, culminating in him doing something extremely stupid. I thought I might be criticiesd for that, but it’s a natural part of his grief.
Hermione has a lot to cope with, too, but things wll get better for her before the story finishes. Only three more chapters.-N-
pros and cons aside, I'm definetely enjoying the story. why else would I have sat on the computer for hours reading it chapter by charpter? don't take the critisim too harshly..this is YOUR story. and yeah, i got home from work today and i'm hungry for more. so thanks for the epic story :)
Author's Response: I try to take criticism as it's (hopefully) meant. Advice on how I can do better. Is 15 chapters and 70,000+ words epic? :-)
I have positive and negative feedback… on the good note, Ron is well done and as is his and Hermione’s relationship. Very well written, and I like that they are taking things somewhat slowly. It seems very realistic and very jk style. The series of events is also unbelievably wonderful and when I imagine what happens after the battle It seems that you are reading my mind. You have definitely spent some time planning before you write and I can tell you have really thought this out. I definitely agree that harry would spend a few days hiding at grimm place, afraid to see the Weasleys when really he is just being dumb and they love him more than ever. That is so very harry. Another positive is luna and the comment about George being lopsided. Honesty, It seems like you understand her character more than anyone else, and you should continue to use that “bond”.
On the downside, harry and ginnys relationship does not line up with their past one…harry and ginny never seemed like the couple who would make themselves appear so obviously in a relationship by constantly kissing, sitting on each others lap etc…I actually think one of the most romantic moments in the book is when they first start dating and they spend a lot of time just walking and talking, holding hands and enjoying each others company. That scene when harry in on the couch and ginny is sitting on the floor rested upon his legs seems very classy and I can’t imagine jk writing them to be running around like they are in your story. Harry is too classy to act like that in front of her parents (and yet they did make out in hiding once). Of course, if you are trying to create your own character traits and are not trying to build on the original novels…go ahead and disregard what I’m saying…you can do whatever you want to your own characters…including make then sex objects .
Overall appeal of the story 8/10. Good grammer, punt, and spelling. Good job builing suspense into upcoming chapters..and please don’t make things too hard for harry…like he said…he has been though enough. Time for a nice quiet life…oh, and more time with harry and teddy so they can start to bond please…maybe at tonks/lupin funeral?? THANK YOU!!
Author's Response: Wow, what a long review, I’ll try to respond point by point. Ron and Hermione: I’ve piled the problems onto Hermione deliberately. I tried to make her less certain than she usually is. This gives Ron a chance to be concerned about her and to fuss over her, which he often does in the novels. Planning: I’m extremely grateful that my first (unbeta’ed) attempt at this story was instantly rejected. It forced me to start again. The original first chapter opened with Harry on his way to The Burrow and told the tale of what became chapters 1-3 in flashback. It was a mess. The whole tale was re-thought and planned from start to finish before I began my rewrite. Sending Ron and Hermione to Australia that gave a lonely Harry plenty of opportunity to do the stupid things he does when he’s alone. Luna scares me. She hovers around the edge of my story but sometimes takes over. I’m glad that you think that I have an understanding for her. I find her ephemeral. If I look at her too long she becomes impossible to write. She will continue to pop up with inappropriate comments whenever she wants to, but I really don’t think that I could sustain a Luna story. Harry and Ginny. Their reunion in the orchard was certainly public. But it was the culmination of nine months separation and much pent up emotion. Ginny’s decision to sit on Harry’s lap was for the benefit of her family, to get them used to the idea. Most of their subsequent snogs were discrete and out of sight from the family, certainly out of sight of the parents. Ginny (who is still only sixteen) is the one who instigates the public kisses (which take place in front of her brothers but not her parents). If you ask her, she’ll tell you that she’s getting them used to the idea, though she has been experimenting to see what sort of reactions she can get from Harry. Without giving much away, this will backfire on her in my already started sequel. I’m disappointed if you think I’m making Harry and/or Ginny sex objects. I’ll look very carefully at the last few chapters to try to correct that error. Credit for correcting my frequently eccentric punctuation goes to my marvellous, insightful and thought-provoking beta’s. Andrea in particular deserved credit for asking “why?”, or saying “I don’t understand,” making me to rewrite some poorly written sections. Harry/Teddy at the Tonks/Lupin funeral! Has someone sent you a copy of chapter 13? This story is called Grave Days, it ends (Chapter 15 is the last) not long after the last of the funerals. If Harry has a quiet life then there isn’t much of a story, but I hope that the last chapter provides that calm. Andrea has already seen the first seven chapters of a sequel “Aurors and Schoolgirls,” which is an H/G&R/H romance. At least, as close to a romance as I can manage. 8/10 – I will try harder. Thanks for the review.
I liked the use of the Daily Profit front page as your summary, definately attracted my attenion to the story, it was quite a clever idea.
The Weasley family response to Ginny/Harry was very true to character, as well as male family members in general (been there, done that lol).
Luna fits perfectly into the story, her unusual (ususal for her) behaviour, as well as her deep insight into George.
All in all a great story that i can't wait to read more of! :)
Author's Response: The reaction of your girlfriends parents and brothers can be frightening, in my experience. Luna's "deep insight," if it's the line I'm thinking of, is one of my own favourites (if I'm allowed favourites in my own story). You're the first to comment on it. Thanks. -N-
Wow, that was an amazing chapter. Very touching and moving. At last, the Elder Wand is with it's rightful owner once again.
I admire Harry's determination to return the wand to Dumbledor. It is a shame, it could'nt be done in the Canon series.
Thanks for a great story!
Author's Response: Thank you. As even Ron's reaction to the wand was covetous I assumed that Harry would want to get rid of it without his friends. -N-
Oh, my, I loved it! It was great! I am looking forward to betaing this, and I'm glad I get to read the next chapter soon (:
I loved the detail you put into it.
When Harry was in thge dormitory, feeling for his glases? Brilliant. JKR never put stuff like that in, and you did it quite nicely. (:
I loved your characteriztion. Kreacher was great-as were Harry-it was very good- Kingsley and Minerva. Nice (:
I don't quite get how Kingsley knew Harry was there. you might want to explain that, although it was a nice toch (:
I have a few nit-picks, though. for the most part they are not all that importat, but....
So I noticed when you are describing the scene at the lake, you wrote lakeshore together and apart (so 'lake shore') One can write both, but I would stick with one.
Also, you normally capitalized Elder Wand, then when Harry is talking to Dumbledore's corps, you didn't.
And when Harry is telling Dumbledore how his plan failed but still worked, you forgot the ' at the end of his little speech.
Once again, I liked this a lot and am looking forward to working with you and betaing this story!!!
Author's Response: Thanks Andrea :-) I hope that you continue to enjoy this story. And thanks again for being a great beta!
I have been waiting for so long for a story about what happened after the battle. Not simply a one-shot, but a real story that explores what happens, how they deal with the logistical issues, relationship issues, and all the loose ends, to tie up their lives, move on with it, get the Wizarding community slowly rebuilt.
I am starting to get excited about your story. The summary pulled me in with it's uniqueness and its ambiquity. The first chapter seems to have picked up right where JKR left off. It doesn't have Harry being overwhelmed and moaning with grief, or proposing marriage to Ginny, or getting drunk, or any of those other cliches that don't feel as if they are a part of canon...he's just taking one step at a time, dealing with what is most important to him - making sure no one else can misuse the power of the elder wand that caused him so much trouble.
I don't know how realistic I thought it was that he made so many important decisions about his future while walking down to the tomb to do it, but I do like that you've made the subtle change in Harry, not the "I'M ALL POWERFUL!" Harry that we also see. I think my favorite part of this chapter was:
"He halted in front of the white tomb and pulled the Elder Wand from within the folds of his invisibility cloak. He turned to face the acting Minister and the acting Headmistress. Suddenly, he felt very young and very foolish. I’m about to give orders to the most important wizard, and probably the most influential witch, in the country, he thought.
And they’re going to do what I ask without questioning me, he realised."
It felt like...Harry. Like, he knew what he had to do, but he didn't know how to explain it, but he did it anyway because he knew it was right. If that makes sense.
I also liked that he didn't dwell on Ginny, but she was on his mind. :)
Soo...as you can see, I'll be anxiously awaiting the next chapter! Great chapter 1!
Author's Response: Amanda Thanks for the kind words; I’m not certain that the journey I’m taking is, exactly, the one you’re looking for, though really I hope that it is. Relationships, and families, are at the core of the story. My own (personal) pet hate is Ron and Hermione in bed together the morning after the battle. Why? Because it is less than 24 hours since their first kiss; and this is Hermione! (and Ron!). I hope that in my story, Harry is simply being Harry; so he’s still misunderstanding other people and their emotions. N
Wow. It is absolutely amazing. I had goose bumps the whole time I was reading it. I can't wait to read more.
Author's Response: Thank you! :) I've just submitted chapter 2, so hopefully the wait won't be long.