I really enjoyed this story... I think mostly because your characterisation of the trio and Ginny was fantastic. I liked the sort of tonge-in-cheek style you wrote in, which started off in the first paragraph - It was nearly Christmas and Ron still hadn’t gotten a present for Hermione. Naturally, this made him very anxious, but instead of getting up and actually doing something about it, he instead chose to vent his feelings of frustration by pacing nervously back and forth across Harry and Ginny’s sitting room... Great start! I loved the idea of the story - it was typical of Ron, but also very sweet and really showed the relationships between the trio.
I wonder how Hermione managed to get approval for the car... I suppose defeating the evillest (I'm pretty surethat's not a word...) wizard of all time gives you some influence.
Just a few things - it's Armando Dippet, not Dippit, and Hugo is two years younger than Rose, so if she's in her first year, he wouldn't be going to Hogwarts for another year and a half. They're just small things though, they didn't detract from the story.
Your writing flowed well and your dialoge was excellent - you could tell immediately which character had spoken.
Wowies! I absolutely loved your story.
I confess I was a little unsure at first, but as I read on, I started enjoying it. By the end of the story, I even felt all teary. Lol!
Seriously. The best part about your story was that your characterization was spot-on. Ron, especially. His jabs was very much IC, as also his nervousness and irritability. I also loved Harry and Hermione. I knew Harry would solve the puzzle, and he rose to the occasion. ;) Hermione was great, too. Wow! She actually got Ron a flying car? I wonder how she managed to convince the Ministry, though.
Here are the parts which I loved:
“It was Christmas time and that was a good of a time as any to show some neighborly affection. Harry and Ron waved back, but when the Muggle turned to do a double take, they were gone.
“Damn eggnog,” muttered the Muggle and he continued to walk down the street.”
“But I don’t know which ones she’s read and which ones she hasn’t! You should see how many books she has, Harry – well you have seen…”
“But I can’t ask her stuff like that!” complained Ron angrily. “She would just say – ” he changed his voice at this point, giving an uncannily good impression of Hermione, “Ron, you’re not being a supportive enough husband. I searched and put in a lot of time and effort to get you your present and you can’t even try to get me a decent gift?”
“Wow, that was good,” complimented Harry.
“Yeah.” Ron shrugged. “That’s what she said to me last year.”
“So you bought a license for it and registered it and everything?” asked Ron.
“Of course,” said Hermione brightly.
“What’d you go ahead and do that for?” Ron asked in mock horror.
“We’re naming the owl Modwen,” Ron told Hugo, his tone borderline threatening, “and you’re right, she isn’t your owl. When you get an owl next year, you can name it whatever you want to. Just make sure your sister doesn’t call it something stupid until that’s all it will answer to.”
Classic Ron! Great job for a first fic.
Author's Response: Wow! Thank you for your very detailed response! Iím glad that you thought everyone was in character. Though I love humor in stories, Iím not that great at writing it myself and since Ronís character is based largely upon his humor and jabs as you so aptly put it, I was nervous that he hadnít come out quite right. So I am very pleased that you thought he was spot-on! Eventually I want to do a more detailed next generation fic with the kids, but first I have to get familiar with their parentsí traits (and quirks!) so that it will sound more realistic. Hopefully this helped me out a little! I donít know when Iíll get around to writing that with school just starting and everything, but Iíll try to get working on that soon. In answer to how Hermione was able to legally give Ron the flying car, as I had said in the Authorís Note, JKR mentioned in an interview that Hermione had worked in Magical Law, so Iím sure she found some sort of loophole! *grins* Thanks again!!
Great story!! really like it!
Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you liked it!
awww!!what a great idea!! :)
Author's Response: Thank you!