This has just made me rethink Regulus and his timeline. Not your story, I'm just wondering how old was he when he died? Was he still underage and at school ... no, probably not. Hmmm.
Okay, I shall get to the proper review. I know what a bloody hard challenge this was. It is incredibly hard to write just dialogue and keep two distinct voices, especially when the two characters are basically OC's. You managed to make them distinct, though and it was easy to follow who was saying what. I did have a bit of an issue with Regulus who soundedrather formal at times - 'Indeed! You are only fifteen, and you are prepared to live a double life?' But that's a minor point because it does make his speech pattern easy to follow.
That's the only crit I have. All in all, I enjoyed this story and the delving into two Death Eater's minds. ~Carole~
Author's Response: I remember working out Regulus' timeline ... Have forgotten what conclusions I reached at. Lol. Yes, I had to keep the speech patterns distinct because of the challenge, and because I always saw Regulus as the opposite of Sirius that way, compensating for his brother's misdemeanors and all that. Thanks for the review, though! Hahaha! That was such a crazy night, but I really appreciated every single one of it. <33
Very weighty stuff here…I found this to be very interesting. I think you handled it very well - I thought you did a very good job of keeping everything very clear with no dialogue tags, it was a very easy read. Regulus being more formal with his dialogue helped, too, and I would actually imagine him to be so, though I have no earthly idea why. *shrugs*
This line was fairly creepy, but in a good, Death-Eater sort of way (umm…lol): "Why so unkind to your own pawns?" I liked how you were able to inject scorn and even some bitterness into Regulus' dialogue, and enthusiasm into Barty's. I don't have a definite picture in my head of Regulus, so it was enlightening to read something that defines who he might have been to get inside Voldemort's inner circle. He was quite the scary guy, here. And nice and manipulative.
It almost sounded like Regulus was has a slightly different belief than Voldemort already; like's he's already on the path to becoming disillusioned. When he says, "We do not resort to violence just because we can.” I found myself echoing Barty when he goes "Really?" Maybe Regulus himself doesn't know what he's gotten himself into at this point.
I thought this line was brilliant: "How can it be about power? What does that have to do with us?” I think that's really where he seems older than his years, right in that moment.
Really great read here. And I am so not reading from work!
Okay, so maybe I am.
Author's Response: Hey, there!
That challenge really was a challenge. It taught me writing dialogues without tags and descriptions is a daunting task. But I'm glad I managed to at least write it with a bit credibility (and I have to thank Niki and Spires for their help).
Regulus being formal has to do with his being a typical Black. I am so happy you managed to differentiate between the two person's emotions behind their words. Yes, I presented Regulus as someone who didn;t really know what he had signed up for, but with time, he realizes it isn't all rosy. And you're right - he's older than his years.
Thank you for the review, my love. And I am so not responding from work. ;)
I really like this story. It is very good.
Author's Response: Thank you! :D