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Name: Hermoine Jean Granger (Signed) · Date: 08/31/09 5:44 · For: Prologue - A Forward from Hermione Granger
Hello Hannah!

I should first commend you on the ingenuity of this plot. I've never read a lot of Rita Skeeter in fanfiction, but here, I see a full-blown biography of the infamous columnist being put up, and I couldn't help but gasp at first when I read this. The idea, in itself, is a brilliant one, and the fact that you are writing it all from Hermione Granger's perspective pulled me all the more towards this story.

The use of first person in the prologue is very in-character when you see it from Hermione's point of view, and though I expect the rest to be in third person(as you are writing it as a book), I would definitely say that the first person here gives a lot of insight into the style of writing. It has this sharp, official aura to it, and does not exaggerate - it just puts facts plainly on paper. This is what I imagine Hermione to be like, and I somehow have the feeling that you have a bucket full of surprises awaiting me. This line, especially, is such a hook: When reading, I do not suggest that you take it upon yourself to sympathize with the writer but to receive a better understanding what was done. I wondered why the book would elicit sympathy, that too, towards Rita Skeeter. She's loathsome in canon, and to see a sympathetic side to her done well would make my day, to be very frank. It is one of the reasons why I found the prologue to be quite intriguing.

If anything, I only found the title to be a little cliche'. I mean, I do get that you've taken it from 'The Life and Lies of Albus Dumbledore', but this is Hermione Granger writing a book, and the fact that she nearly copied that title from Skeeter does not fit in with my image of Hermione.

I liked the way you brought out the interaction that took place between Hermione and Rita Skeeter during the year in which the GoF is based. You let us know that there is more than what we see in canon there, and give us a glimpse of what her state was, during the course of that year.

However, I did question the importance given to Albus Dumbledore's biography in here. I agree that the mention of it is important, as Rita Skeeter's book did make a lot of news in the wizarding world, but I wondered why a synopsis of that was included in the prologue of this. I cannot really fathom what Albus' motto during his younger days has to with Rita Skeeter's life story, and I admit, it threw me off a little. The sudden jump from describing Skeeter's life to Albus' life was abrupt, and I do think that the transition could've been a little smoother.

Overall, however, I loved this prologue, and cannot wait for more. I do hope to read more of this story. =)


Name: TM_WandStick (Signed) · Date: 08/13/09 17:19 · For: Prologue - A Forward from Hermione Granger
Totally wicked idea. Totally something Hermione would do. And as it's written by her, I expect it to be done in like, two days. JK :)
Also, so cool that the first review is by Hermione's therapist.
~Miss Wandstick


Name: Hermiones_Therapist (Signed) · Date: 08/13/09 12:25 · For: Prologue - A Forward from Hermione Granger
SWEETNESS! This is such a cool idea!!! I love how you have Hermione turning the tables on Rita. Muahahahahaha! Ha!

Awwsome prologue, waiting for more.

One minor nitpick:

During my fourth year, I targeted due to this friendship.

Should be a "was" between I and Targeted.

Hope you update soon! Awesome job!

H_T


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