Oh, Terri... Words cannot express how touching this is. How realistic everything is. I felt so immersed in the story all the time, and there's no higher praise I can give.
Wow, what an ending. And what a twist. But what a powerful, amazing, saddening, heart-felt story. Perhaps it was obvious to some and maybe I'm being silly but at first I thought it was George, especially after reading your other story 'A Mother Remembers'. However, it captured Snape perfectly as well.
Once his salvation, now his prison.
This ending sent shivers down my spine. It is perfect. It is so right. I thought about it on a number of levels. First, Snape must go as he promised Dumbledore to protect Harry. But second, Hogwarts is where he probably remembers Lily most. Everywhere he turns there will be another memory, another ghost from the past. But he would be reminded of James too, reminded of the man who married the woman he loved. Tragic...
Wow... This was just wow. At first I thought it was about Remus, but it does actually capture Severus' feelings in the situation perfectly. The emotions of anger and grief mix so well, reinforced by the image of shattering glass and general destruction.
It made no noise as it tipped and he felt oddly unsatisfied. Drawing his wand, he murmured a spell and the sofa exploded with a satisfying noise. Smiling grimly, he walked up the stairs and into his bedroom. This room had yet to see any destruction.
This part, to me, shows that he wants to systematically destroy the remains of his life that is now worthless for him. And, yes, when angry you want things to make a noise as they get destroyed.
His anger evaporated under the weight of his grief.
This sentence is perfect. I can quite see him crumbling with grief at this part.
A very good and powerful work of art, with perfect characterization of Snape, and also of Dumbledore, who came across as compassionate and caring.
Author's Response: Nez,
Thank you for your review. I cannot believe, or maybe I can with what and whom I normally write, that no one has yet said they thought it was about George. That is who it started out as. Thanks again.
Wow, Terri, this was a powerful story. It was short and sweet and said everything it needed to say. At first I was thinking this was either Remus or Sirius, and I really liked how you delayed the name being said until the next part. I also liked how Dumbledore was the one to see to Snape, as I imagine him understanding how Snape feels. Overall, really nicely done.
He didn’t hear the click of the lock on the door, didn’t hear the gasp of shock from the visitor. He didn’t hear the house being searched for him, nor his name being called through each room.
I happen to love repetition when used in the right sense and I think you did it well here. The fact that Snape was in a blur, not really understanding what he is doing and yet, not being able to contain his fury was well executed in this part and the parts before. This quote accentuated that fact.
If he opened his eyes, he would have to face the pain again.
Here and a little while afterwards, I liked the reference to how opening the eyes would be realizing the pain of loosing Lily. It’s a commonly overlooked feeling as to how closing the eyes can be a sense of relief to someone. Nicely put.
“There is years before I need to...”
This was slightly awkwardly written. I’m not sure whether you were trying to say “There are years…” or “There is time…”. Perhaps a mix of both? You may or may not want to fix that.
I think you did a wonderful job characterizing Snape in this fic. You gave him all the emotions that would have been expected from him after realizing Lily’s death. You didn’t need to say it outright that she died, and that’s the beauty of this. As mentioned before, I loved Snape’s shocked state, where he was destroying things without realizing what he was doing. I could easily have seen him doing all of that. Dumbledore was also well done, with how he addressed Snape during his rampage and having him start work immediately. Although I’m curious as to why Slughorn retired in the middle of the year. Or did he retire early and there was a substitute? No matter, each part of this was done phenomenally.
The idea of this was very original, seeing as most of the time we see the Marauder’s reaction to the Potters’ death or we don’t even consider Snape’s side of the story. Again, I really liked how Snape’s name was not mentioned until the second part as it left the reader wondering who this was talking about. The language in this was also well done as I liked the simplicity and vagueness. This allowed the reader to feel just as Snape was feeling, rather than giving a detailed narrative of where he was or what he was doing.
I really loved this. It was well written, well executed, and a story I truly enjoyed reading. I’ll have to read some of your other stories soon.
Author's Response: Mercy,
Thank you for your review. You are right, the sentence is phrased wrong. I will go in and fix it. Thank you for pointing it out. This did not start out as Snape. It actually started as George, but my muse took over and did what she wanted with it. Thanks again for taking the time to review.
Well, what a surprise this was. I was convinced the story was about Sirius Black after James' death - or perhaps Regulus' disappearence, but then you pulled the magic carpet from under my feet and revealed who Mr Angry actually was. This is so good, becayse we rarely see Snape lose it, but when he does it's spectacular. Perhaps if the man hadn't repressed his emotions so much - believeing it to be mastery - he'd have had more success as a human being. /end Snape rant.
Seriously, Terri, this oneshot is amazing. You can feel his grief and anger through every shattered glass and every broken room. No wonder he hated Sirius so much - I wonder how he managed to control himself when he had to work with Pettigrew. *shudders*
Albus was lovely. I go a very real sense that he cared - ye we know that he was manipulative, but I think in your piece he was genuinely concerned for the barely-a-man in front of him.
Extremely good job of showing the shattered dreams of a barely stable man.
Author's Response: Carole,
Thank you hon for your review. It started out as a very different man in my mind, but my muse had another idea. I am glad you were surprised by who it was. That was my intention to surprise the reader.