Reviewer: HumanHorcrux
Date: 01/31/12 1:14
Chapter: Chapter 1: Sunday Lunch with The Malfoys

Oh, one more thing, what house is Scorpius in?

Author's Response: D: This was my earliest personal canon regarding the three kids, and honestly, I can't remember. :/ I do think I put him in Ravenclaw, though.

Reviewer: HumanHorcrux
Date: 01/31/12 1:12
Chapter: Chapter 1: Sunday Lunch with The Malfoys

This was fantastic! One thing though, your dialogue seems stiff, you should use some more contractions, but otherwise, this was one of my favourites!

Author's Response: This was my early writing D: Back then, I think I had some subconscious vendetta against contractions. Hopefully, over the years, I've improved. Thanks for reviewing, though! I am happy you liked it.

Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione
Date: 10/18/10 19:56
Chapter: Chapter 1: Sunday Lunch with The Malfoys

I really liked this fic - the balance of old Draco/new Draco was perfect, and I liked the way Astoria was changing him. It was nice to see him trying so hard, but still slipping up and feeling awkward easily.

Scorpius was also very nice - very mature for his age, especially in the way that he never asked for more than what he had, and seemed satisfied with that (eg when Teddy asked him how many people play Quidditch there, and he didn't mind that there were only 3 of them).

Astoria was portrayed very nicely as well. It was nice how you portrayed her being able to see straight through Draco's old ways/awkwardness.

Also, the setting as something so commonplace was perfect, as it was an event that would quite possibly change all their lives.

I really enjoyed it :)!

Author's Response: Hello!



This was my first one-shot. Actually, it was the first fanfic I ever wrote with 'seriousness'. I'm somewhat nervous about it. It feels so good to hear that you liked so many things about it. :D Thanks for reading and reviewing!



~Natalie

Reviewer: cmbluey98
Date: 10/14/10 21:09
Chapter: Chapter 1: Sunday Lunch with The Malfoys

very good

Author's Response: Thanks!

Reviewer: minnabird
Date: 10/05/09 2:37
Chapter: Chapter 1: Sunday Lunch with The Malfoys

The suggestion of "a few words" is probably what's going to happen here, since I'm not being very long-winded today.

This was a great fic. I think after everything that's happened the Malfoys do deserve a break, but it's good to see the old Malfoy in your Malfoy, and I love the idea of Astoria as a bringer of change in his life.
Your Scorpius is a very likeable character; he just seems to enjoy life. While Astoria seems to have been the bringer of change inside their home, Scorpius seems to have performed the same action in the outside world, befriending Al and Rose (even if the rest of their family still doesn't like the Malfoys much). It's great to see the house of Malfoy turning over a new leaf.
Teddy, too, is a likeable character with his nerves, a few traits obviously inherited from his mother, a food preference possibly inherited from his father, and his maturity and willingness to extend the hand of peace.

Something that sets this a bit apart from the usual redemption-of-the-Malfoys fic is that while the prejudice against them is mentioned, I didn't get a feeling of being oppressed by the weight of it. It was a presence, certainly, but it was easy to feel the honest enjoyment Teddy and Scorpius were feeling in hanging out with each other for the first time, and to get a feel for the dynamics of the Younger Malfoy family.

There are just two nitpicks:

-I was stopped short a few times by the lack of contractions; people said "You are" where I expected to see them say "You're." Otherwise the dialogue was great, but the contraction thing bothered me.

- I would've liked a bit of a clearer explanation of how Teddy and the Malfoys arranged the meeting.

Great fic, though, seriously!

-Minna

Author's Response: Minna,



All I can say is, you summarized the characters so well. Lol! Iím so glad that whatever I wanted to show has managed to get across to the readers. As for the contractions, *sigh* I hardly used them before. Dunno why. But then, as I worked with more betas, my writing style improved and contractions come easily to me now. : )



And the reason why I didnít go into details of how they met was because I had to save the scene for my chaptered fic. : D



Thank you for the lovely review!

Reviewer: ahattab33
Date: 08/14/09 22:43
Chapter: Chapter 1: Sunday Lunch with The Malfoys

Hey Natalie! I have come to review as promised, and I'm glad you promoted your story, because somehow I missed it in the updates. Is this the first story you've ever written? Because it was a joy and a delight to read - can I have more please? :D I am mega-impressed!

I think there can be many characterizations of Astoria, as we know so little about her, but any take that is well written is believable. Your take on the Malfoys' Post-Hogwarts life is refreshing. It doesn't feel overdone, and it is explained. The motivations behind their somewhat secluded life brings us a version of Scorpius that is accepted and well-balanced and prejudiced free - again, tastefully and refreshingly done so as not to be overwhelming.

Your characterization - spot on. Well, in my humble opinion. There have been 12309827 different versions of Scorpius and Astoria, and I really like yours. Astoria seems like she is a good fit for the Draco you've molded as well…willing to play into his ego a little bit, but all aboard the "Let's Forget the Past" train.

My favorite…impression?...of your work is how you intermingled the history and the aforementioned motivations and beliefs of the Malfoy's into the dialogue and into the story as it unfolded, rather than giving us several paragraphs in the beginning. It felt like I was peeking into their life for a day, shadowing first Draco, and then Teddy, and finally Astoria as something trivial like Sunday lunch is actually a very pivotal moment in their lives. It made the flow of the story smooth and easy to read, breaking up the dialogue and the prose.

I also liked the time stamp and place - it helped to juxtapose the differences and similarities between the two families…does that make sense? At least, it did for me, lol. Teddy and Draco had a VERY different background, but at the same time were both willing to cross bridges and change tradition. And they both were cute being nervous. :) I also thought the comparisons between the Weasley children and Scorpius were initially a tad overdone, but now that I think about it, that's probably what I would have been doing the entire time myself - making comparisons in this nervewracking situation to the one think I'm most familiar with.

I also thought that you sprinkled it ever so nicely with glimpses into how the Wizarding world has changed, and just with little fun tidbits here and there to make the reader really feel immersed in a magical world. I think as writers of this fiction we sometimes forget to do that subtly here and there: playing Auror and Wizard Baddie, Astoria's thought about stunning two birds with one spell, Teddy's household spells worth a "T" grade, Archiwizards…etc.

So, this review is monstrous, and probably the longest one I've ever written! I think there were a few nitpicks in there somewhere - one of your codings is off, something was supposed to be italicized, I think, and I have to mention that I did have a little, "Hmm" moment when Draco got the owl from Xanadu - but I wasn't joking when I asked for another. Something with lots of Astoria in it.

~Amanda

Author's Response: wow, Amanda! That was an awesome review. Thanks! Thanks! Thanks! Astoria is a character I love playing around it. I know Rowling said in one of her interviews that Astoria/Asteria was a Slytherin at school, but I needed someone who is not only clever, but also selfless. I think generosity and the willingness to open one's life to other people are some two that Draco's wife would badly need. And since I am a sucker for the 'bad boy turned good' variety, I really, really wanted Draco to have that kind of wife so that he could improve as a person. And more of my version of Astoria is coming soon. I am currently working on a chaptered fic where she will feature quite prominently. :D As for the comparison between the Weasley children and Scorpius - I knew that it could sound a bit overdone, but I kept it like it is because Teddy is someone who could not avoid doing it. The thought that Teddy grew up around those kids kept playing in my mind, so I let him do it. :) Did you feel that you were peeking into the Malfoys' life? Yay! I wanted my readers to feel that way. And, yes, one must never forget that she is writing about a wizarding world. :D In my fics, I try to include magic as much as possible. I confess I am not really creative, but I do try to show that this world is as magical as ever. And thank you so much for the nitpicks! I should go and edit the draft rightaway. Xanadu...lol, I confess that even I didn't like the part so much. I tried so very hard to come up with an original name but...couldn't. However, Draco got the owl from the Ministry. :D

Reviewer: TheBlackSister
Date: 08/13/09 10:10
Chapter: Chapter 1: Sunday Lunch with The Malfoys

Very Good, especially for a first! A tiny nitpick; it's all riight, not alright. Congratulations on your first validation!

Author's Response: oh...i never knew that! thanks! :D

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