Whoa. I just read this and I was left in awe. It was so beautifully written and, oh my God, I just loved it. It was very original and I loved the fact that Morticia ended up being Audrey :p This was very good! I'm adding it to my favourites!
Author's Response: Thanks!
Oh, I adore this story! It's very Poe, minus the ending. I could totally see this as a short story in an old dusty book saved for a good thunderstorm.
I'm not sure I followed the meaning of the part where Cassandra burst into flames and took the young Healer with her to the grave, but just the same, I loved the imagery in my head.
Your use of onomatopoeia i the first couple chapters to add to the atmosphere of the storms and the eerie sounds one would hear in a virtually abandoned ward.
All in all, I really do like this story, and I hope tales in its style can be anticipated in the future.
Author's Response: Comparison to Poe is flattering. I wrote the onomatopoeia in intentionally. To be honest, it was supposed to be one chapter longer. The extra chapter was supposed to go between chapters 2 and 3, and it was supposed to be about the ward during voldemort's first rise (in which chapter two would make more sense), but I ran out of time, and in context, it just wasn't working.
Ahhh, Heather, this is fantastic. I'm ashamed to say I haven't reviewed before and this won't be wildly comprehensive now, but I love how Percy comes into this story and how Morticia is Audrey!
The passages I liked the best were him struggling not to kiss her ... I mean it is kind of degenerate ... and he was really fighting the spell ... but oh, wow, you wrote that superbly. And the mention of Amortentia - BRILLIANT!.
Incredibly original story, and I do hope it wins the QSQ.
Author's Response: Thanks! Glad to be nominated for the QSQ. :)
Heather, I was really intrigued by the title, and was going to read this anyway, but when you won overall, I knew I had to read it. And this didn’t disappoint me – it was SO good. Just... I was going to review chapter by chapter, but I didn’t want to stop reading!
First thing that struck me about this was the sounds that you’ve inserted throughout, like the rain on the window. That was a very atmospheric touch, and it added to the story well -- especially the rain in Abigail’s death scene – you built up the tension so well, even before Trelawney had her vision. I liked how the rain was there in that scene at all, as it rained at the beginning of the story, when the girl was cursed. So having that detail later on, it kind of inserted a sense of foreboding, as such. It was quite creepy and haunting, and I felt as if I was there.
I liked how you inserted familiar names into the story, and eventually it ended with Percy. He was an excellent choice of character to awake her. In fact, I like how you kept this wholly fairytale all the way through.
I love the way this gives a back-story to Percy’s relationship/wife. The whole thing is rather mystical, and I find myself suddenly seeing Percy in a new light. I mean, the way Percy’s portrayed in the books just doesn’t touch a lot on the romantic side of him. But you’ve shown a perfectly in character Percy’s more romantic side. I love his embarrassment at how he woke her up – so good, it reminds me of his mortification at Ginny catching him and Penelope. XD
In addition to seeing Percy differently, I thought the inner-dialogue you wrote for him was perfect. I could really imagine it – the inner-denial, the Come on, Perce. Just... I think you captured his tone well, and it was a lovely touch.
A line that stood out to me in this story was Professor Viridian’s last. It was so final, and it instantly made me hurry on. Somehow, I figured that the girl HAD to wake up.
I would’ve liked to know how she was cursed – something to do with the rain? I wasn’t sure. However, I also like the ambiguity, the fact that you don’t tell us, that it’s not clear how it happened. It just happened, and I think I like it better that way. /yeah.
I do question Morticia, though, after she wakes up. All of the people she knew are dead – you show this gets to her [like, not wanting to go back to school], but I’d imagine a little more devastation. Bitterness at her parents abandoning her to the hospital? Sadness that her old life is gone, and she has to build a new one? Does she block it out because she doesn’t want to think about it? I know I wouldn’t want to dwell on it. But even so, it must be quite awkward for her to live with Molly at first. I just would’ve liked a little more in that area of the story.
Overall, I absolutely LOVE this fic. Seriously. Also, it’s quite original which I like. Really good. –squishes-
Author's Response: Thanks! I was afraid I wasn't going to finish this fic, actually, because the ending was not sticking. I was going to write a third chapter, but then I went with the less is more method and trimmed out extra scenes and ideas to just jump it to the ending. To answer your questions about Morticia's feelings: I know there's not a lot of them in the fic, but that's because Morticia does want to tune things out. I didn't have a lot of space to show case her personality, but I tried to convey that she isn't the most open person by how she treats the Healer when she wakes up. She also tends to talk a lot about business and logicstics with Percy, but that does eventually lead into her telling him how she feels. I wanted to convey Morticia as a very observant woman because I think Percy might generally be attracted to someone like that. In addition, your comments on Percy are really appriciated. I've never written him before, but I decided to go out on a limb and do it because he just fit what I wanted to write SO well. As soon as I added Percy into the ending, it just worked, and I really liked writing those scenes.
I really like this story. The idea is amazing.
Author's Response: Thanks. Glad you liked the concept.
Author's Response: Glad you liked the ending.
i like it :)
Author's Response: Thanks
Duuuuuuuuude! Where was I when the second chapter of this was updated? Oh well. :-)
Abigail drops her quill, and an ink line darts across the page like a swift, jagged wound.
That sounds cool.
although the bone chilling shrieks still seems to linger in the air like ghostly finger prints.
You rock at similes.
Like bullets, the droplets of water slam against the window pane of the room where Morticia Gregel rests.
Its mouth opens to reveal a mauling pit of darkness before it flings itself down on the helpless Healer.
AAAAAWWW! Poor Abigail! And where did that firey demon thingy come from?
Great chapter. :-)
Author's Response: "You rock at similies" is the best line I think I've ever gotten in a review. :)
This chapter gave me quite the creeps. You nailed the setting. I liked Abigail, she was a cool character. And I didn't expect that to happen with Trelawney and all! I only have one little nitpick; I suppose Abigail's last name is spelled Resnik, because it was most of the time - once you spelled it Resnick though.
Another good chapter! Keep it up :)
Author's Response: Thanks! I'm glad you liked this chapter better.
i like this story, not much action but still a good read, keep up the great writing
Author's Response: Thanks! I think there's a bit more action later in the fic, but chapter two was all about the horror.
Wow, this set a chilly tone! It's a truly cool and original plot. Keep up the great work!
Author's Response: Thanks! I'm glad you liked it.
Um. Woooooooooooooooow...I don't know what else to say. This is awesome. And completely and utterly original. Update soon!
Author's Response: There are three more chapters in the works. Chapter two is proving difficult, so we'll see what comes of it. I'm glad you liked it.