I like your story a great deal. It has an excellent plot and characters. My one suggestion would be for you to proof-read a little more carefully. There are quite a few typos. It's really rather nitpicky of me, but the typos do have the effect of taking the reader out of the story and jarring the flow. Overall, however, I like this very much.
Author's Response: I'll have to go over it with another beta. I've been thinking of doing this with all my stories.
That was really good. Not really a story to read alone late at night though...
Author's Response: No, it is a story you want to read in the daylight, possibly in a church.
Meet the new boss
Same as the old boss.
- The Who, "Won't Get Fooled Again"The systematic annihilation of indigenous cultures is possibly the worst crime all of humanity has to answer for. This story not only highlights the real-world side of cultural assimilation (right from the beginning, with the title nodding at the Carlisle Indian Industrial School and the Dawes Act), but also seamlessly blends in the magical side of things. What happens when a young girl is taken from her tribe and forced to learn the ways of the white man? We know that story. But then what happens when a wizard shows up and says she'll be going to a white wizard school? It's more of the same, it's not liberation or freedom or anything like that, no matter how appealing it is as an alternative to the school we first see Annie in. Connor doesn't get it, and Corina doesn't really understand either: the way the Native Americans had things was working out pretty fine for them, and it wasn't the white man's place to force them out of it, no matter how good their intentions might have been.
Good story. Excellent application of real-life issues to the magical world. Interesting characters, too, in that we're sympathetic to a little girl who isn't especially nice, not too upset about the death of an essentially good man, and told these things from the perspective of a young girl who has trouble seeing outside the narrow scope of her culture. I liked this, thumbs up.
Author's Response: I was actually trying to write Annie unsypathetic, but given the circumstances, that's probably not possible. Thank you for the lovely review (I do enjoy our review circle!), and if you want to see Annie as an adult, she makes an apprence in my story, The Deer Woman.
