I really like this story, Minna. The "break-up" with Snape is something I've wondered about so many times... how did Lily get from trusting him as she did when they were younger to that moment when he can't be a part of her life any longer. I like your imagining of that transition here. It works very well, that the "Mudblood" comment wasn't what started it, but what was essentially the proverbial "last straw." And for him to go so far as to call her that, it confirms all the doubts that had been forming over the months (years?) prior. I liked the friendship between Lily and Mary. Most girls I know occasionally need to "dump" on another girlfriend, whether its information or just help processing something that's happened. I thought this was very real. Wonderful ending, too, having her tell him to call her Lily. Just pitch-perfect, and full of hope for their relationship. Love him looking guilty too. I do enjoy James/Lily! :D This was lovely, and I'm glad I found it. I wanted to review something as a little birthday gift for you, and the summary caught my attention. Sorry it's nearly a week late though! Hope it was a happy one!
Minna that was beautiful. I love the fact that you don't look at the moment when she actually "breaks up" with Severus, but at her getting ready for that moment instead. I also like the way you describe Mary and Lily's friendship- I think it's very realistic and not over the top.
I also love the way Lily logically and sensibly thinks about her relations with James and Severus. It's not over the top, but the way it is set out to lead to her conclusions is very clever.
I also love the ending. It's the right balance of implying what will happen later and not taking things too quickly.
I also love the image of James being "like a dog that knew it had done something wrong." As well as being quite cute I think it highlights the difference between him and Severus.
Anyway great story- thank you!
Author's Response: Thanks for reading and reviewing - and for liking the story! It makes me happy that you guys think my reasoning makes sense.
And when he called me 'Mudblood' today, that's what made me start thinking. If, even for a moment, he was able to think me as worthless as the dirt beneath his feet...well, that's the last straw, really. The last little puzzle piece. Some combination of his family, his nature and his friends has turned him from a dear friend whose flaws I can overlook to a person I just can't see myself being able to keep in my life.
Minna, what a great set of lines, here. I love the way she's sitting, unable to concentrate, trying to work all of this out in her head. It wasn't just that one insult - it was a step too far, and why the heck should she forgive him - yet again? You give a very good insight into their friendship, the reasons they stuck by each other, and finally the reasons it all went wrong. Great job.
I'm not so sure about the parts when she's describing her about turn in regard to the Marauders. I truly like the bits where she's describing James and his ego, but I felt that maybe we didn't need the references to Remus and the others being like brothers. It seems a bit too explanatory to me (not sure if that makes sense), but it in no way detracts from a rather good fic about a moment in time. Wow! I can feel Lily squaring her shoulders to deal with Severus.
The ending is terrific. James looking like a dog who has done something wrong, is a lovely image, and Lily's nervouseness for what is a momentous shift in their relationship is well-written.
Good story, Minna.
Author's Response: I'm glad you liked the story and thought it was reasonable. Thanks for reading and reviewing. -hugs-
Hey!! GREAT one shot!!
I was just as readable and enjoyable and cannon compilant that you might have snuck it out of JKR's scrapbook!! You didn't, did you??
Abs lovely! Hehehe... Lily was rambling for a bit there, totally exhasperated by the situation. I REALLY liked it!! Awesome piece of work.
Author's Response: No, I did not steal it out of JKR's scrapbook...but I'm flattered that you would suggest it. :P (If I had access to JKR's scrapbook I think I would die of awesome. Just think how much info...-drools-).
Aww. Short, sweet, and very cliché-free. xD
I'm torn between liking and disliking the way you used dialog to tell the story. While it did get the job done in a way that's more to-the-point than third-person narrations, I also feel that a part of the story was missing; like there was just a bit of the story that didn't get told because the main lump of it was through dialog. I've read the first chapter of Curiosity Killed The Cat though, so I know you know what you're doing, and I won't drone on. xD
I just love how you've explained Lily's feelings toward the Marauders and their pranks; that they were only—of late—'picking on' people who deserved it is not only a very believable theory, but a perfectly clichéless reason behind why Lily might've warmed up to James. Personally, I like to believe it was a moment when the world shifted into place and little hearts started fluttering everywhere, and they looked into each others eyes and… *cough* But the way you've explained works too. XD Moreover does Lily's feelings behind it all work well; I think you did a great job tackling the most difficult MWPP scenarios (Lily/Severus, Lily and James' friendships, the Marauder's pranks, AND SNW) and the wonderful writing didn't hurt either. ;]
Very enjoyable story, my dear. :]
Author's Response: I'm glad this scenario seemed both reasonable and non-cliched to you. =) And I definitely blushed at the line "I think you did a great job tackling the most difficult MWPP scenarios (Lily/Severus, Lily and James' friendships, the Marauder's pranks, AND SNW) and the wonderful writing didn't hurt either." You're a flatterer, Ari, that's what you are. :P Thanks for the awesome review. -hugs-
Uhh, Minna, it was soo good! I really liked it! especially the end. :P * J/L shipper* I'mma go congradulate ya over AIM now... but it was grea, especially how you wrote the part abbout lily and her friend-Mary talking, not lily and Severus.... interesting, andd very good............. great job!
Author's Response: Thanks. =D Glad you liked it.
that was good and i really liked it! it definitely seemed exactly like what Lily would be thinking(sry weird wording but u get wut i mean?). well i really enjoyed it!
Author's Response: I'm glad you enjoyed it. =) Thanks for reviewing!
I like this story. I like hoe you ade Lily 'Break up' with Severus. It was good.
Author's Response: Thanks, and I'm glad you liked it.
Great one-shot! So often, I read stories where people blame or criticize Lily for not sticking with Severus through thick and thin. However, I'm in agreement with your take on the situation. It's always seemed to me that the "OWL Lake Incident" was merely the straw that broke the camel's back. I don't think that her friendship with Severus is something that Lily would throw away lightly, and I'm glad you showed her thought process.
Author's Response: I'm glad my idea of how it went makes sense to you. Thank you so much for leaving a review. =)