The part about accio-ing the damn tissues made me crack up.
I love this story. It's so simple, but written in a unique way that makes everything sweeter. I really enjoyed reading it. :)
Author's Response: Thank you so much! :)
Very well done, you certainly hit the emotional chords. BUT you need to either drop a couple of words or re-rate the story higher than 1st-2nd years.
Author's Response: Thank you! And I had totally forgotten about those swear words! I will absolutely put this up a rating : ) Thanks for the heads up.
Cool! I loved how you did All Those Words With the Capitals thingie.... Sorta like the Winnie the Pooh books! :) Heading over to your profile to check out your other stories.
Author's Response: Thanks SO much! : )
That was so heart-wrenchingly beautiful. I’ve never seen Astoria and Draco characterised quite like that, as two people alone and cut off from the world rather than the usual almost-arranged-marriage thing. I can see Draco doing something like that – retreating to a cottage in the middle of nowhere so he doesn’t have to care.
The summary confused me a little, and then I thought it was funny, and then I clicked it out of curiosity. It wasn’t what I was expecting – this is so full of emotion and love that it’s almost overpowering, and I didn’t really get that from the summary. I’m not saying that the summary wasn’t good - I still liked it enough to read the fic – but it was just different, tis all. It doesn’t really capture the essence of your fic.
The random capitalisation threw me a bit in the beginning. At first I thought it was an error, but then I realised it was supposed to be like that. After I got used to it, I quite liked it – it puts an interesting twist on your writing and makes the whole thing seem a bit dreamlike, if you know what I mean. In fact, this whole fic is a bit like a fairytale, with the cottage where Draco lives alone and the strawberry incident and everything. It just has this beautiful far-away quality to it which I love.
The style you’ve written this in is really lovely. The sentences are extremely long-winded and you often repeat things, but that just makes it even better to read. It’s like a long train of thoughts from your characters, and that makes much more impact than dialogue or any action does in this fic. It really adds to the whole romantic, wistful tone of the fic.
A little problem I have is Astoria’s idea of going to university. I can’t recall one ever being mentioned in canon, and although you could add it in, it just seems a little pointless. I mean, most of the high-standing jobs that would need training in the Wizarding World would be at the Ministry, or St Mungos, both of which I’ve always assumed do their training themselves. I know Auror training is mentioned as being with the Ministry. So even though having Astoria go to university works well with your fic, I don’t think it fits. Also, it seems too real and plain for your dreamy, wistful fic. Perhaps she could be having a year off because she doesn’t know what she wants to do? Just my suggestion. ;)
I love the dynamics between Draco and Astoria. It’s so typical of Draco to just go and hide away from the world so he won’t have to care about anything. And then this girl comes along who is so full of life and cares so much that she draws him out of his hiding place. Astoria is an intriguing character, because she seems so shy, yet at the same time she has this big personality that can’t wait to get out. You’ve written her wonderfully, and it’s so easy to see Draco falling for her.
The ending was my favourite part. Astoria’s breakdown is something I’m sure most of your readers can relate to - being upset because everything finally seems to get on top of you and you don’t know if you can do it anymore. The tissue thing made me laugh, because it was just such a Draco thing to do to see finding the tissues as the best way to comfort her. Then the final section was just so beautiful. The things that go unsaid just make this. Astoria knows he loves her. That’s underlined throughout the whole fic – Draco doesn’t always say things, but they both know it’s there and that makes it even more special.
This was a really lovely read, so thank you for that. :)
Author's Response: Thank you SO much for taking the time to write such a wonderful, long review! I'm super grateful : ) I think you're right about the university thing, though - I suppose it is a bit too "muggle". Thank you thank you thank you! : )