MuggleNet Fan Fiction
Harry Potter stories written by fans!
Reviews For I'll Pick You Up

Name: hushpuppy22 (Signed) · Date: 12/13/10 0:46 · For: I Can Be Anything
This was a fabulous first chapter. You have stayed completely faithful to what we know of canon while creating an interesting and believable backstory for James. I especially love the relationship you have given Sirius and Irene.

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you liked it :)

Name: I hate Tuney (Signed) · Date: 12/11/10 12:20 · For: I Can Be Anything
oh my god!!! It was soo strong!!!
I loved it..!!!

Author's Response: Thank you :)

Name: SaboteurVictory (Signed) · Date: 12/02/10 23:53 · For: I Can Be Anything
I just finishd reading your completed story, and I have to tell you, I'm really impressed. I really enjoy your writing style; it's easy to read, it's detailed, and its actually quite similar to JKR, which helped me to believe that this really was the same world as Harry, Ron, and Hermione. I also really enjoyed the pure "teenagerness" of the characters, which was amusing and humorous as well as part of the plot. This is easily the best Lily/James fan fic that I've read, and I don't think I'll be reading any more of Lily/James because I'll always have this story stuck in my head! You've accomplished something I've always wanted to do: you completed a novel that you can be proud of. I hope you keep this story in printed form so you don't lose it in the future!

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you liked how it was written and enjoyed my writing style--and I'm especially glad you liked how I wrote the characters, their "teenagerness," because that was one of my goals when I first started this story--to write the characters well and to write them as they are: kids.

Name: iwishicouldwrite (Signed) · Date: 12/02/10 15:38 · For: Epilogue
Wow! this was an amazing story! The romance was so sweet, you developed both of their personalities so perfectly. The commraderie between the mauraders was hysterical, and really touched on the strong bond they had with each other. I loved how this fanfic was a romance and a mystery at the same time! The scene with Lily and the imperius curse was terrifying - you really demonstrated how terrifying that curse really is. And their encounter with Voldemort showed how brave they both were! (a trait their son definitly would possess!) It made me sad they wouldn't survive to raise Harry, and when you ended the epilogue with Harry learning about them through Cassie it was perfect! (that letter nearly made me cry) Great story :)

Author's Response: Thanks so much! I'm glad you liked it and enjoyed the romance. And I'm especially glad you liked the friendship between the Marauders--I really wanted to do them all justice and I was always nervous that I didn't :) It is so sad to think that they aren't there to raise Harry--that's why I can't EVER write their death or anything too close to it. Thanks again :)

Name: Ginny Weasley 25 (Signed) · Date: 11/23/10 14:04 · For: Epilogue
That was amazing you should write another one
Love Ginny x

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you liked it.

Name: MMirA (Signed) · Date: 11/15/10 20:00 · For: You Climbed Up Here to Fall Apart
I love this story... especially how you tied things into the books! Well done.

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you liked it :)

Name: Jessabelle (Signed) · Date: 10/07/10 5:40 · For: Epilogue
i really enjoyed reading this. thank you for putting it up here!

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you like it :)

Name: LuLu94 (Signed) · Date: 09/26/10 0:56 · For: Epilogue
Awesome story! And I'm so glad you didn't include the James/Lily murder scene in the epilogue. I feel like every single story about them has it and I'm a little tired of it. There's only so much you can do with the Sam scene before you just start doing the same thing over and over again. But anyway! I love this story and surprisingly after reading this I actually don't hate peters character as much as I usually do. And I adore the epilogue (especially the way Grace turned out and Harry having family :D) Keep it up, my dear!

Name: LuLu94 (Signed) · Date: 09/25/10 20:03 · For: Epilogue
Awesome story! And I'm so glad you didn't include the James/Lily murder scene in the epilogue. I feel like every single story about them has it and I'm a little tired of it. There's only so much you can do with the Sam scene before you just start doing the same thing over and over again. But anyway! I love this story and surprisingly after reading this I actually don't hate peters character as much as I usually do. And I adore the epilogue (especially the way Grace turned out and Harry having family :D) Keep it up, my dear!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! No, I hate reading their death scene and I avoid it like the plague. I'm far too attached to fictional characters! I'm glad you liked the epilogue I wrote and that you liked what happened to Grace!

Name: xxbabewithbrainsxx (Signed) · Date: 09/14/10 9:37 · For: Epilogue
*Sniff* That was one of the best stories I've ever read on MNFF. I lost my internet for four whole weeks so I've been deprived of much fanfiction during that time. But now, it's back.

The three epilogues were great. I guess you felt that there was so much to tie up at the end and you certainly wrote it very well. I love the way you included Cassie at the very end.

My favourite part of this story was when Lily was asking James about Remus being a werewolf. The fact that she was angry at him for risking his life...well, yeah, I guess that touched my heart. My favourite line, without a doubt, is "I kind of love you too". And my favourite characters are Lily, for her fierceness and effortless intelligence, James for his cockiness and how thoughtful he was and Remus, simply for being Remus. I think that this story would've been a brilliant prequel to Harry Potter. If I didn't know any better, I would've thought that JKR wrote it, that's how good it was.

I really hope that you don't stop writing multichapter James/Lily stories. They're so spectacularly written and engaging that I really want to read another one. But, if your life's that busy, I guess I'll just have to read the one/two-shots instead.

OK, I think this review is getting a bit long now! Before I finish, I just want to say that I really liked your characterisation of Marlie and Lenore and Grace. They were great OCs and I almost feel like they're my friends too.

And that's it. I shall stop wasting your time now. Honestly, though, you're a great crime writer and I can't wait for anything else that you write.


Author's Response: Thank you so much! That's such high praise to call it a favourite :) I definitely did feel there was a lot that had to be addressed before I could call it truly finished, hence the gigantic epilogue -- I'm glad you liked it :) And I'm so glad you liked how Lily and James were written! And, oh, the OCs -- they're always a risky business, so it's a relief to know you liked them! And, honestly, another idea for a Lily/James multi-chapter story is taking shape in the back of my head (although I'm trying to ignore it) . . . *sigh* . . .

Name: The_Dream_Team (Signed) · Date: 09/12/10 21:21 · For: Epilogue
So, so, so amazing! I absolutely adored this story! It was perfect and thought provoking and interesting and well written! I couldn't find a single flaw if I tried. My favorite chapter was probably chapter five when they were playing the drinking game. It was pretty funny and light-hearted! I also liked when James was figuring everything out and talking to Grace and Regulus. That was really cool to see everything adding up. I could tell that this whole story was REALLY well planned! As for my favorite character... well, the entire time I wanted to give James a big hug =] I love him! But I also really liked Regulus and Grace together. That part was really good. I loved the whole thing so much! I'm really sad that you aren't planning any more chaptered fics... but I'll definitely look for your one/two-shots! Thanks so much for such a great story!

Dylan =]

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I really liked writing chapter five and I'm pretty pleased with how it turned out, so I'm glad you liked it! And I'm so happy you liked James -- I love him way more than anyone should ever love a fictional character ;) Oh, and I'm glad you liked how it all came together and enjoyed everything with Regulus and Grace!

Name: Osced (Signed) · Date: 09/10/10 15:13 · For: Epilogue
A really great story! I loved the epilogue!

Author's Response: Thanks very much! :)

Name: The_Real_Hermione (Signed) · Date: 09/08/10 6:06 · For: Epilogue
Great story - nice mixture of romance, mystery and angst. I have to say that after reading the first chapter I wasn't really into this story, but things picked up pretty quickly from there so I got really into it.

To be honest, all the smoking and getting drunk annoyed me initially (with the smoking I had to remind myself that this was set in the 70's, not now!), but that is quite possibly because I'm a goody-two-shoes and quite naive and don't like to think that characters I like would do that...

James was more egotistical than I expected, but in a way it worked nicely in this fic to lighten the mood. You certainly kept everyone completely in the characters you created for them - both canon characters and OC's. I liked your portrayal of Regulus and of Grace and their story, and Sirius' actions at the end were very believable. It was a nice touch that Grace came around in the end (as in stopped saying that Jilly deserved what she got etc.). You created Jilly's presence very nicely, although she was dead for most of the story she was one of the more prominent characters.

You're very good at finding a balance between humour and darkness, I've found this in your other stories too, and it definitely made me want to keep reading.

Rosier using the Imperius Curse on Lily was very effective - quite different to the usual Cruciatus Curse - and also a very painful scene to read.

The way the chapter titles fitted together was also very creative.

All in all, it probably wasn't my favourite of your fics (I can't exactly pinpoint the reason) but it was still very nicely written and a great story!

Author's Response: Thank you! I absolutely detest smoking, but I honestly think they would have in the 1970s. I'm glad you liked the story despite that and the drinking and that. And I'm glad you liked the characters, even if James was a little egotistical. I really wanted to do right by all the characters in this story. And I'm so happy you liked Jilly's character -- I wanted to give readers an idea of her characters and give her a presence in the story, but I wasn't sure that could be very well accomplished if she were dead for the whole story! I'm glad you liked her :)

Name: lily_death_flower (Signed) · Date: 09/07/10 15:26 · For: Epilogue
Wow I can't believe its done. This was by far my favourite of your fics and honestly my favourite fan fiction that I have read on this site or any other site

I love Lily and James they are my favourite couple in Harry Potter and honestly my favourite characters (
after Sirius of course) and I think you write them exactly as I envisioned them.

You OC's as well are so well written to its like they really were characters in the book. They are all so perfectly balanced and believable.

Grace especially in this was an amazing character and Jilly to though we only saw her through memories.

Your minor characters also had so much dynamics towards them from Regulus, Irena, Katrina, Marly, and Avery.

This was definitely a darker fic them most lily and James you have written but it also had a perfect combination of fluff, humour and angst.

I love the epilogue how you added Lily and James, Grace and Peter and even Cassie. I loved how you had Lily propose and James reading off the piece of parchment so James and so adorable. I liked how you had James fantasy from the first chapter come true "take me I'm yours". Perfect.

Peter  is a character that authors usually try to skip over but I like how you gave him a larger part in your fic.  And Cassie as well meeting Harry and Ginny was a very touching scene that had me in tears.

The mystery itself had me going I had no idea who it would be until the very end at the big reveal.  And the suspense and evil as the cliff-hangers were they made the story that much better.

I had a few chapters I liked or parts of chapter. Like Lily and James' first date in chapter 5 and their first kiss in chapter 9 and the aftermath of the kiss in chapter 10 with their actual first date. I liked the beginning of chapter 12, the chapter with the dance and James' birthday.

But I think my favourite chapter was chapter 21 because of Sirius mostly. You wrote him so well and him emotions were so strong. Both when he asked Lily not to turn his brother in and at the end when he is crying in the bathroom.

It's kind of sad to think of this as your last chaptered fic because you are my favourite author on fan fiction and  though the waits are at times long it makes the chapter even better when they are posted. But as long as you keep writing I'll keep reading. :D

Author's Response: Oh, thank you so much! This is such a wonderful, detailed review! It's sad to think of never writing another long fic, but I do have to finish Don't Mind the Puddles, so there's that, at least! I think Lily and James are my favourite characters in the HP universe, too, so I'm glad you think I did them justice. And I'm glad you liked all of the minor characters! I don't much like it when Lily/James stories get too involved with minor characters or the romances of other Marauders (that should be labelled a Marauder Era fic, imo), but I still want to include other characters. Ooh, and stories that simply ignore Peter or make him out to be a complete wimp is a pet peeve of mine. And I'm glad you liked Jilly and could get a feel for her even though she was only ever in memories -- I was hoping such would be the case! Okay, I think I'll try to stop gushing over this review :) Thanks again!

Name: Evora (Signed) · Date: 09/07/10 13:55 · For: Epilogue
So here’s the thing: I’ve been reading your stories ever since I discovered fanfiction last May. I haven’t reviewed any of your chapters so I’ll start in the very beginning. :)

All throughout the story, every Marauder has stayed incredibly well-tuned and in-character. Their responses and their reactions – all of it was so much like them. Your OC’s – you gave them such a strong foundation that it seemed like you’ve imagined what their whole life was like. Regulus – I just really wish that I could have read more about him. Even if he was the culprit in the murder, there wasn’t so much that I knew about him. Grace – for me, she was such a complex character that I just have to congratulate you that you’ve written her excellently (I even checked out if she was a canon character; silly me). Tate Donovan – he was like a pawn in the story, but come to think of it, every character was a pawn. Cassie – my first impression was that I frowned because of the name. It was very muggle-ish, and a bit modern, too, but I grew used to it as you incorporate the memories from that fateful day in Diagon Alley. You used your OCs so effectively that I could see it was downright necessary for them to be in the story; their roles had such great importance that I could not imagine a better way to progress the fic.

James and Lily’s dynamic – I have to admit, his courting days to her was so much fun to read. It was very entertaining and very much like James to make a fool of himself in front of Lily. His haiku is still stuck in my head after all these months. . . Anyway, how you brought them together in I think, Chapter 13, was such a typical teenager way. Not that I’m insulting or criticizing that, only that I think the normalcy of the situation was a great air to the scene. I was waiting for the point that James would just give up, because let’s face it, he would give up at some point, and Lily’s reaction to it was just marvelous! Again, they were both so much in-character that the thought of you actually having a James/Lily-like-romance crossed my mind. Sirius’s banter with Lily was entertaining to read, too. His whining and jealous attitude when James finally got Lily reminded me of a child – a baby girl, in fact. I’m just a bit sad (again) that there wasn’t much romance for him. Sure there was Marley, but that barely counts since Marley didn’t take him seriously. Though now that I think about it, did you think that it would be hard to insert a Sirius/OC romance? Or did you think you would just end up writing a cliché?

The memories – Godric, I love the memories. It may seem like I’m the only one who enjoyed those, lol. It’s very obvious that you’ve put many a fantastic detail and emotion to it. How you wrote it, it makes me think that I was seeing James’s memory right at that second. The description of fear, anxiousness, and debris everywhere was so vivid and so felt. I really admire your writing skill and style – but that, too, was obvious, wasn’t it? Jill – just like Regulus, I was sad that I didn’t know what her life was like, but I got a clear idea who she was and how she acted through Lily’s and Marley’s, and the Marauders’ eyes. It’s sad to see that she was the victim of the murder, but then again, I’m very much thankful it wasn’t Lily, else the whole point of James/Lily was useless :P The name, ‘Jill’, was really adorable, and I thought, if James and Lily had lived and gave birth to a daughter, they would have named her after Jill.

There’s a pattern that I could see in your Lily; her determination is what James had fallen in love with. I can justify that because I’ve read every single one of your fics. Her determination to find out who Jill’s murderer is and her determination to kiss James in the 13th chapter gave so much depth to Lily more than you know. It made her wise; to think about the future and the benefits and consequences of her actions in the present. Remus – again, I wish he had a romance, too, but knowing you, Maggie, you dislike non-canon pairings so therefore, Remus must only be with Tonks, right? Peter – I really do hate Peter. He may have retracted his steps after 17 years, but I still hate him. In this story, you gave him the foundations of his betrayal – insecurity, feelings of inadequateness, and jealousy. Excellent, excellent job.

The plot – you really had me going. At the back of my mind, Regulus must have been the one, but then I thought why it would be him when he wasn’t used much in the story as a whole. So during the first steps, I strongly suspected it was Tate and Grace. Heck, I even considered Peter! Then you got all mysterious and evasive that I lost my trail of suspicions, and now that it revealed that Regulus was the one, well, let’s just say that I was partiallysurprised. You must know that I love every chapter of this story, and that I think everything was so much in order and so necessary and important that it was almost perfect. The only scene I was disappointed in was the confrontation with Voldemort. The chapter before that – the one where Lily was imperiused, which I think was brilliant and at the same time, creepy and highly disgusting (a good thing, don’t worry) and very evil, by the way – was signaling a big, legendary chapter to come next. You had Voldemort underestimate them, and thereby, losing the grip of his wand (which was pretty embarrassing, if you ask me).

Now, I have to tell you my ultimate favourite: The Epilogue. I was expecting a Lily/James scene, but goodness, it was oh so different. That’s why I love it so much. Instead of the usual Lily and James having a normal day then suddenly realize they’re going to die, you wrote the other characters’ ending after how many years. With all my heart, I love that scene so, so, so much. I love how Harry met Cassie, and how Cassie came to tell him that he was family and the excellent detail – the one pertaining to her childhood (i.e. “I don’t have the kind of family that people usually took advantage of”) – really touched me. It was what Harry felt all throughout the years, and it was just a touching scene that I thought I was going to cry. Grace’s talk with Peter about Regulus gave all the more solidness to your OC. For her to be asking what happened to him, why he died, it just said so much that was unsaid. They were really in love, and it ended as a disaster, too.

All in all, your story had a very bright beginning, and you progressed with it darkly, including grief and sorrow in all the characters’ part. I love how your Epilogue gave a brilliant spark of hope and an ending for others. I love how you gave each character in which they would both shine positively and negatively. I love how every chapter gave so much meaning and underlying truth to it. I love how you never seem to fail your readers and you always give them the best of chapters and responses. You’ve written such an incredible, fantastic, excellent, and very-detailed story, and it saddens me that it has ended. You have a great and covetable talent for writing that I really do wish that you don’t waste it. Share with us, with the rest of the world. Continue writing stories, fanfiction or perhaps in the near future, original fiction, and you will make us very happy and giddy with delight. I hope, with all my heart, that you will get better and better as you write, and that you never stop writing stories.

I love this story, everything about it was plain exceptional and outstanding. Please don’t leave mnff :(

Author's Response: Oh, my -- this might be the best and most detailed review I have ever received! I'm so happy you've enjoyed all of my stories, including this one. When I started this story, I really wanted it to focus on having everyone in character -- I wanted a Lily who wasn't too much like Hermione, a Peter who had a backbone, a James who was silly and immature and not always confident. I'm glad you liked the characters and came to feel the OCs necessary. OCs are always a risk, and it's such a relief to know you think these worked, and you liked Grace. Oh, and Jill -- I'm glad you liked Jill! I tried to show as much of her character in the memories as I could, but I didn't want to overdo it. As for James and Lily's dynamics -- getting that "right" so to speak was another big goal of mine in writing this story; I have read a hundred long, epic Lily/James seventh-year-fics, and I think a lot of them simply have James miraculously grown up and Lily finding herself falling head-over-heels for no reason, and I wanted to show actual growth to their relationship while still showing that they are, in fact, just kids! I'm glad you liked how their relationship was portrayed.

I'm also so happy you liked the memories! I was afraid people would find them boring and be more interested in what was happening in the present plotline, so it's a relief to know they were appreciated and that you can really find yourself in the moment alongside James. As for the murder mystery -- this was my first attempt at writing something like that. Before I started writing, all I knew was who I wanted the murderer to be, and I can still remembering sitting myself down and attempting to write out the main turning points in the murder using the seven steps to writing a good mystery that my ninth grade English teacher told me years and years ago! I'm glad you think it all worked out and, despite how small a role Regulus had throughout, you still weren't entirely surprised that he was the killer.

I spent ages rewriting the epilogue again and again in an attempt to do justice the story and finish off well, so I'm so happy that you enjoyed it so much! It was easy for me to write the fluffy scene between James and Lily, but I had a lot more trouble with Peter and Grace. Peter is such a hard character to write, imo. As for ending it on a happy note -- I couldn't help but give Harry that kind of family :) There's also the fact that I just can't bring myself to write the last day of James and Lily's life. I can't go near their deaths with a ten foot pole -- I'm far too attached to imaginary characters, it seems.

I certainly won't be leaving mugglenet anytime soon! But it may be a while (if ever) before I start in on another epic Lily/James story. (Although, knowing myself, I probably won't be able to resist. *sigh*) Oh, I almost forgot -- as for giving romances to Remus and to Sirius: I do think Remus would have had romances before Tonks, but nothing epic, you're right, because I'm too much of a canon Tonks/Remus sucker. And as for Sirius -- way too often his romances are Mary Sues, and they never much seem to enhance the plot in any way, so I simply wasn't interested in attempting that in this story. Also, there's the sad fact that JKR told us Sirius never has a serious romance. Well, anyway, thanks for such a FABULOUS review!

Name: littlewolf (Signed) · Date: 09/05/10 23:54 · For: Epilogue
maybe because i've been reading this chapter by chapter and organic chem has been invading my mind in the meantime (or maybe i'm just too lazy to go reread this story now after the epilogue), but my fav would come from this chapter.

"how do you live with that, peter?"

honestly, i wonder too. how did peter live through all the betrayal.

and i really enjoy the part where lily proposed to james too, and he pulled the ring out and started reading from a parchment *laughs* before lily cuts him short. that was sheer genius.

i'll find time to come back and reread this someday. really love your story =)

Author's Response: Thank you so much! Organic chem, huh? That's the devil, isn't it? I'm glad you liked this and enjoyed the final chapter and how Lily proposed! I've been picturing that in my mind for a while, so I'm happy it worked out and was enjoyed! :)

Name: GinnyPotterFan26 (Signed) · Date: 09/05/10 23:23 · For: Epilogue
Definitely a rather lengthy epilogue...but so, SO worth it.
I can't honestly pick a favorite part out of this story. The genuine and bared emotions were great, and I really enjoyed your take on James and Lily's final year at Hogwarts. It's one of my absolute favorite time periods in this universe and I am very thankful that there are people (like you) with more prodigious writing ability than I to explore these people and places. Thank you for another wonderful story.

While I am no stranger to real life getting in the way, it does sadden me that you won't be writing longer stories. I don't mind waiting for a while for updates. Even though it's frustrating at times, it's such an excited frustration. Not to mention the unexpected excitement when it does get updated. I look forward to reading more of your writing, regardless of format.

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it so much! This is such a fun period to write and to read about in the HP universe because JKR has given us clear "guidelines" so to speak, but there's still so much left open for exploration! As for no more long stories, I have to finish Don't Mind the Puddles, at least, so there's that :)

Name: Daughter of the Light (Signed) · Date: 09/05/10 21:42 · For: Epilogue
That was certainly my most favorite James&Lily fic that I've ever read. I can't even put into words what I'm feeling right now. I've been shocked by your story, put to tears by it far more than once, waiting and waiting, always, on the edge of my seat, to find out what happens next. And now that it's finally over, after all this time, I can't even express myself properly! It was just so beautiful... and the dialogue between Grace and Peter in this chapter was excellently done. I can just see it playing out. I love the way Grace turned out, and how she knew to put Peter in his place. But most of all, I love how James and Lily's relationship gradually developed through crisis and sorrow. It was beautiful. Well done!

Author's Response: Thank you so much -- that's such high praise! I'm glad you liked how Lily and James's relationship developed and also that you were kept on the edge of your seat . . . I was a little nervous at how my attempts at making for suspense would work :) Oh, and I'm especially glad you liked this chapter's conversation between Peter and Grace -- I rewrote that scene at least three or four times! Thanks again!

Name: hgprincess92 (Signed) · Date: 09/05/10 16:20 · For: Epilogue
Another beautiful and incredible tale! You made us laugh, cry, rejoice; you name it and you made us feel it in this story. It held an amazing plot line with intricate details. All of the characters were, i felt well depicted. My favorite as always was Sirius. I do believe you did him incredible justice, even if it wasn't centered on him. Lily n James' relationship was also very believable. One of my favorite parts was in th elast chapter; where Sirius demands that Lily not tell Dumbledore of Regulus' part in the murders. it showed not only the attachment but the utter love that both Lily and Sirius feel for two peopl that at this point seem lost to the dark. it also showed the hope and faith they both had that one day that will change. You have given us all an honor with the production of this fic. I am saddened by the idea that you may no longer write multichaptered fics, but it does arise one question: will you finish your fic "Don't Mind the Puddles?"

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm so glad you thought I did Sirius justice -- I know a lot of people love him, so I was always nervous when I wrote him; I really didn't want to disappoint! Ooh, and I'm happy you liked the scene with Sirius asking Lily not to tell Dumbledore of Regulus's part in the murders -- you describe exactly what I hoped to show in all of that :) I do hope to finish Don't Mind the Puddles, but it's slow going. Thanks again!

Name: fairy_lights27 (Signed) · Date: 09/05/10 12:54 · For: Epilogue
Sniff sniff.....
So SAD........
But I love this story!

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you like it :)

You must login (register) to review.