Another good chapter!
I loved James' similarity and relationship with George! I also liked how Harry liked the prank.
The ending was funny, James really did the smart thing there!
This was a great chapter! Some advice and feedback:
Instead of, '"Ginny, what is wrong?" Harry asked as he looked from.......' I suggest you use the word 'what's' instead of 'what is' because 'what is wrong' just sounds a bit too formal, if you get what I mean.
Great suspense when James got his letter, you really got me there.
One other thing; Ginny hardly ever cries, but I suppose you could make her cry in this part, it could be extreme enough. So I suppose it comes down to how extreme you think the situation is.
I loved Lily's reaction to Albus' trick, it had the exact reaction perfect for Lily; her mother's stubornness, and how she was worried. Great job!
I really loved this two one-shots en look forward to more of these (the marauders, and lily (potter and evans) would be very nice to read!) I think the characterisation of the kids was very good. James, the prankster, Al the bit more introvert and Lily just with the temper of her mother and Harry; s mom, but also very caring and loving for her family.
I liked how good you wrote the parenting styles of Harry and Ginny. It is just like the epilogue
I did also like that you included the part about what Ginny and Harry thought about their kid going to Hogwards. I quess it does is a big thing to have your first born child going away for most of the year. But I do think that actually Harry would have more difficulty with it than Ginny. I quess Ginny would be more used to such family dynamics, because she is from a big family herself. In the epilogue in DH you can also read that in the end Harry is worrying more about Al and Ginny is consoling him. And I think maybe Ginny wouldn't cry that fast, because she wants to be strong. You can really see that in de book at Dumbledores' funeral.
But it were two really lovely and funny stories and i am looking forward to read more of them! so keep them coming;)
Author's Response: Thank you for your review. There are plenty of more letters planned and not just Next Gen ones... Make of that what you will. hehehe Muse is busy working on a couple of different stories at the moment, but she does have plans on getting more letters written to add to this.
Please, please, please update this story! :D I think it's fantastic!
Author's Response: I am currently working on updating all of my unfinished stories. So, keep an eye out for an update soon. I can't promise when, but there will be an update coming. Thanks for taking the time to leave a review!
This is a brilliant concept and you have executed it well. Can't wait for more! Please, please, please do Remus. I noticed you commented below that you might do the Marauders and I think that's a great idea especially Remus. He would be so interesting to do!
Author's Response: Thank you for your review. I am glad you enjoyed it. I do have an idea for Remus, so stay tuned. Terri
haha i really liked this chapter! how many people are you doing? i hope a lot! i cant wait for the next chapter!
Author's Response: Thank you. I don't know how many I am doing. I am at the mercy of my muse. I know there will be several more though. Thanks again, Terri
That was such a sweet chapter. I liked the way Harry knew James needed to make his own choice about divvying out blame for the prank. James reminds me so much of his grandfather, James Sr. He’s a prankster, but he has a good heart. I also liked the fact that George thought Harry knew about the prank, because even though George is also a prankster, he’s an adult, so I’m glad he seems to have been a bit more responsible than James.
Author's Response: LiLu,
Thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed Albus. I thought after everything Harry has been through, he would want to instill responsibility in his kids for their actions. Thanks again, Terri
*giggles loudly* Brilliant second chapter, Terri. Loved it!
You truly have some ideas with pranks. The first was done nicely, the second one was just as great. I absolutely loved how the children play pranks where the letters from Hogwarts – an important event in their lives – are concerned. I can’t wait to read what both Albus and James come up with when Lily is to receive her letter.
What I found also really well-mastered was how Harry sat down with James and dealt with it. I liked that Harry gave his son the chance to realise for himself that he did something wrong in hurting his brother. I believe that learning something by doing it alone, like realising something was or went wrong, has a greater effect than simply telling. A child – and adults just as much – needs to gain the experience on its own. And you showed that nicely. I also found how you described James fighting a war in his head to be perfect. It suited the situation just nicely. Great job, hon.
Like in the first chapter, the humour in the second chapter was expertly executed. My favourite part was James’ Mum told me not to move. *chuckles* It shows that he is afraid of when his mother starts giving out crisp orders, for a reason I believe; I can imagine Ginny to be a strict mother from time to time. I therefore like that with this simple sentence you majorly characterised two people at once: Ginny with her temper but at the same time concern about her children’s well-beings, as well as James being a pranker, like his uncles and namesakes. It’s true to what we know from canon, and still something of your own. Marvellously done.
What I wondered was why you divide sentences into different paragraphs when they actually belong to the same unit of sense, or if they are spoken by the same person and could be united into one paragraph, like here:
Ginny looked from the letter to James. “James, do not move a muscle,” she said as she turned her attention to her youngest son.
“Albus, I am sure this is not your real letter-”
I think there’s no need to separate them. It’s a bit confusing as it is.
Also, the last thing Harry said – while funny, foreshadowing and totally valid – is sounding a bit too American for him, in my opinion. I haven’t seen a Brit say “Oh boy”, but I know that you as an American do it rather often. While Harry lives in a modern Great Britain where American expressions have probably found their way into the everyday language, I still doubt Harry would say something like that. I see him more saying something like “Oh my” instead.
Overall, however, this was another great chapter. I’m now totally waiting to see what is going to happen when Lily receives her letter. Besides, you should write about the prank Albus and James are going to play on Uncle George. ;)
Author's Response: Bine,
Thank you for your review. I fixed my mess-ups, thanks for pointing them out. I think you may have sparked my muse about the prank on Uncle George. I'll let her stew on it for a while though. Thanks again, Terri
Terri, first thing - I love love love Harry as dad. He is too cute. Him and Ginny as parents are sometimes hard to pull off, and these are superbly done.
Sorry, had to get that out of the way. :D This was very believeable and yet a unique take on this...The way it was written made us feel like we were simply watching the scene unfold rather than reading a scene presented to us.
Overall, this was sweet and cute, but still allowed for some development of both Albus and James, while letting us get more of a glimpse into their relationship as brothers. It still felt realistic, as it was hinted that James might have said the things his parents wanted to hear rather than what he really believed. He was conflicted about getting a favorite Uncle in trouble...probably thinking about potentially harming future pranks, lol.
I greatly enjoy this series of letters, can't wait for more in the future!
Author's Response: Amanda,
Thank you. I am glad you enjoyed it. There are many more to come. Thanks again, Terri
I really love this one. It's my favorite. It was so much fun to read.
Author's Response: Thank you. I hope you aren't set on this being your favourite as there are more to come. Terri
*chuckles* This was lovely, my dear. For a moment, I really thought he had done something horrible, especially when Albus said Uh oh, she used your whole name. But as soon as the letter came forward, I knew what it was. Nonetheless, it was funny that Ginny and Harry kept playing this game. I had a giggling attack when James said But, I didn’t do anything. This time, I really didn’t. *giggles uncontrollably*
Terri, I found this to be a sweet little moment between the five Potters. The characterisation of all five is executed marvellously. Especially Lily shows signs of the hotheadedness that were her namesake and mother. It’s a nice touch, to know that she is just as tough as her brothers. I also liked the dynamics between them as a family. Albus kept to James, although I can imagine James played the one or other trick on his younger siblings. The above quoted statement of his suggests as much, at least. But I think it’s lovely that they keep together in the moment of “danger”. *chuckles* The joke of Harry and Ginny in surprise for their oldest son is just great. I love the idea. :)
I had some trouble keeping up with Harry and Ginny and their standing positions. I got as far as that Ginny received a – supposedly – soothing hug, and the next I noticed was that Harry was taking her into his arms once again. When did she step away? The sentence She walked over to him; wrapped her arms around him and buried her face in his chest once more. indicates that there were at least a couple of steps distance between them. (Besides, the semi-colon should be a comma.) It made me wonder…
What let me take a double take, too, was this passage:
Harry chuckled. “Looks like Albus decided to run with our little joke,” he said, “just follow my lead.”
“Ginny, you know it is for the best,” he said, pretending he didn’t hear the two children approaching.
To me it looks like there is a part missing. If not, I find it strange that you would divide Harry’s speech onto two lines. Like it is now, it reads a bit awkward, however. It just feels like there is missing something.
All criticisms aside, I found this to be a lovely and sweet little one-shot. Is this supposed to become a series of one-shots like “Visits From Fred”? Can’t wait to read the other instalments.
Author's Response: Bine,
Thank you for your review. I will read through this again and fix Harry and Ginny's movements. Hmm, I didn't even notice that. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Thanks again, Terri
Make of this what you will: A little voice (I think it was God, but maybe you just think I’m schizophrenic) told me that while you’re gone, I can help by dropping you a review or two. Don’t ask me how that helps, but reviews always brighten my day, so, here I am. :)
I like the fact that although this story is full of humour, it also looks at the bittersweet emotions of Harry and Ginny. I think you’ve done a wonderful job of characterising the children, embellishing the little that we see of them in canon.
I thought Albus in particular was portrayed well the way he went along with his parents’ trick, and carried it farther by using it on Lily. I also liked the guilt and confusion of the mischief-prone James.
“Uh oh, she used your whole name,” teased Albus, a worried but gleeful look crossing his face. It’s not really a critique, but after reading this line, I spent a good thirty seconds trying to put on a worried but gleeful expression, and I’m not quite sure it’s possible. >.>
“NO!” shouted Lily. “He didn’t do it, I did. You can’t send him away. You just can’t.” I like this line a lot. It seems to me like it says a lot about Lily. She has a temper and is outspoken about her opinions, but she is compassionate and loves her brothers. She is even willing to take the blame upon herself falsely rather than lose James. (Unless there really is an “it” that she did…)
Good job, Terri! This was very sweet and funny. I’d be happy to read more “letters” stories whenever you feel inspired. :)
Author's Response: Lilu,
Thank you for your review. I can see your point about Albus' look. I will see what I can come up with to make it clearer what I meant. Thanks again. Terri
So hilarious hurry up with the next one
Author's Response: Thank you. Albus is now posted and I am working on the next one. Terri
I can't wait for more. Maybe you should invent your own characters too, not just from the books. I'd love to see what you come up with.
adding you to favourites...
Author's Response: Thank you. You may have a good idea there. I have a few OC's from my stories I could add to the list. Terri
xD This is hilarious! Harry and Ginny WOULD do that to James.
Author's Response: Thank you. There are more pranks to come. Terri
That was totally brilliant!
Author's Response: Thank you. I hope you enjoy the letters to come. Terri
That was very very funny. I had a good laugh reading that. I like how you did the characters. It was good.
Author's Response: Thank you for your review. I am glad you enjoyed it. There are more letters coming soon. Thanks again, Terri
I really like this idea and I can't wait to see who gets their letter next! But I think the end of this chap is gone because all the last sentance says is: "Can I go tell G
I hpoe you can fix it 'cause I really want to know what it was ment to say! :D
Author's Response: Thanks for your review. The whole story is posted when I check and I had a couple others check also. Try again. I will post the next letter soon. Thanks again, Terri
This was very enjoyable to read. Poor James, he's forever going to be labeled as the troublemaker...excellent trick Harry and Ginny played on him though. And, Lily, what a little firecracker. No need to worry about her. Excellent.
Author's Response: Thank you for your review. Don't feel too bad for James, yet. He is after all, half Weasley. There are more to come, so stay tuned. Thanks again, Terri
Brilliant, you should do that for everyone including Scorpius
Author's Response: Thank you for your review. I do have others planned and in the works. I will be covering not only next gen kids but may even do the Marauders. Stay tuned for more. Thanks again. Terri