I like it a lot. You write beutifully. Keep it up and you should definately write more about Ginny during Deathly Hallows !
Author's Response: Thank you! :)
Oooh! Please continue. Although, it is a nice one-shot.
Author's Response: Thank you. Though, my muse is currently not considering to continue with that story. But maybe one day. Thanks again for reading and reviewing.
I like this story; it's very melancholy, but in keeping with everything that's going on at Hogwarts at this moment in time. I love the way they decided to start up the DA again, and Neville's characterisation is perfect. I'm not quite as keen on Ginny's characterisation as I'm unsure she'd be crying quite so much. I know she'd be very upset and concerned about Harry, but he does say one of the things he loves about Ginny is that she doesn't cry. Perhaps a line saying that at last she could release the tears she'd never been able to shed in front of him - or something - would be in place here.
Apart from that, there were a few minor nitpicks that I noticed:
I already asked Luna; she’s deliberated starting it of her own already. This doesn't quite make sense, and I think it should be. I already asked Luna; she's deliberated starting it up again of her own accord.
But only because this Edgecombe girl sold us to her. I think it would be better if you put 'the' Edgecombe girl, or 'that' etc etc.
Anyway, that was just me being ultra picky. Small slips in no way detract from the overall feel of the piece and it is a beautiful story about finding strength in difficult times.
Well done. ~Carole~
Author's Response: Thanks a lot for your comments, hon. I appreciate them and will take such things into account in future stories. :)
Firstly, you should know that Hogwarts during the year of DH is my absolute favourite thing to read about, and so I was incredibly excited to stumble across this on your author page. And you did not disappoint with the story!
I love being grabbed by opening lines, but in this case, it was the second line/paragraph that really drew me in. I felt the opening line you chose was a little stiff, but the second paragraph, and in fact the remainder of the whole of the first section was completely gripping, and in my opinion, the story would have been just as effective starting with that part. The atmosphere you created was amazing and I was feeling tense and nervous just reading it.
The opening contrasted greatly with the ending, which I also thought was very effective. The line And it had shown me that together you’re strong. Standing alone, you’re nothing. seems filled with so much hope and optimism, making the reader feel that perhaps everything is not going to be as bad as first thought from the opening of the story. I loved the change in mood from the despair to the promise that things would get better.
The tone and the mood you created throughout the whole of this story was incredibly powerful and I think the use of the first person was really important in helping to create this. There were so many ‘wow’ moments in this story that really made me shiver, such as here Have you ever felt it? When nothing was there – although you were surrounded by hundreds of people? when I felt as if I could really feel Ginny’s pain and the misery she was experiencing without Harry. And even though her feelings are very extreme, they are believable. Strong as she is, I can imagine Ginny would struggle at first with the idea of Hogwarts during her sixth year.
I found that this moment - Squinting my eyes to see in the swirling misty smoke, I saw feeble shadows moving around. - was particularly powerful as it seemed to mirror what happens in the DH epilogue, only the contrast in the mood and the tone is about as extreme as it could be. In the epilogue the characters are happy and even with the train’s smoke, there is a positive atmosphere. Here, the smoke seems somehow ominous and the description of the figures emerging from the smoke is very sinister.
The transition in mood between the opening and the ending was done very well and I liked how you used Neville to show Ginny that everything could be okay. We can guess from canon that the pair became close during the year and his conversation with her at this point is a strong start to that friendship. Here - He cared; his eyes told me he wanted everything to be all right. And he was determined to make it right – the glitter in his eyes told me this much. you showed just how strong Neville was prepared to be for Ginny and how determined he was to fight against the Carrows and Snape. However, I also thought it was good that even though Ginny allowed herself to be comforted by him, she couldn’t help but wish she were with Harry instead, showing that Neville could never quite be a substitute for Harry’s love.
The one-shot was everything I could have wanted and I would love to see more of your interpretation of Hogwarts during that year. ~Hannah
Author's Response: Oh, what a lovely review, hon. Thank you so much. I'm really glad you liked the story and enjoyed reading it. And I'm also glad that I decided to write Ginny here, instead of Crabbe how I envisioned it before. But that somehow didn't work like I thought, so the switch to Ginny. And who knows, maybe I'll make it a chaptered. Right now, my muse is engaged in other projects.
Anywho, thanks a lot for that brilliant review, Hannah. *hugs*
This was really impressive. I always wondered about Ginny while Harry was searching for the Horcruxes, and how hard it must have been for her. This story did a great job in exploring that. Well done.
Author's Response: Thank you, for reviewing and the nice comment. :)
I really like this story. I like how it goes from her being sad about Hary not being there and then it's like she's going to make the best of it. You did a good job on writiing it. It's really good. I would love to read this story with chapters and stuff like that.
Author's Response: Thank you for the lovely review. :) I'll see what my muse comes up with.