(Signed) · Date:
07/31/09 21:05 · For:
Can't Fight the Moonlight
Okay, I really loved this fic. However, before I go and celebrate this fic’s goodness, I’m going to point out the one HUGE canon error that jumped into my face. From what I gather, this is set during CoS. If this is during CoS, Cedric is going to be in his 5th year and Cho will be in her 3rd year. In his fifth year, Cedric WOULD be a prefect. At first, I thought this line "I'm not a prefect," he told her. was sarcastic, but then you said this:
He was one of eleven fourth-year Hufflepuffs, only three of whom came from more than a few generations of wizards.
Sorry, but the time line inaccuracy drove me a bit nuts. Other than that, I loved your description. There were, once again, so many great lines in this fic, and I can’t quite figure out which one is my favorite. I have to say that I liked the fact that you made both Cho and Cedric funny. Most authors seem to miss those points, but you kept them in character and made their (early) relationship seem easy and effortless. I liked the little joke about the Giant Squid, too. I think my favorite part was your portrayal of Cho. She doesn’t ever get cast in a good light, does she? However, you manage to portray her in the way Cedric might have seen her, and if you write again about Cho/Cedric, I’ll be sure to read it because you keep this pair very in canon. I really liked the moment when Cho is about to cry but doesn’t. And here is probably my favorite line (if I had to pick one) because it sort of sums up all the lovely Other Pairing elements in this fic, and it is a very subtle romantic point, too.
Halfway through the last word, she seemed struck by some fantastic humor. She broke out laughing, tried to stop herself, and of course wound up laughing at herself even harder.