Ah, this was great. I love the concept and you did it justice. I don't know if I'm slow and that everyone else had figured out the reason why Snape was cruel to Neville but I clicked a couple of paragraphs in. It just makes absolute sense and I can't believe I didn't realise before! Well done on a great fic. I can't wait to start working on my Untold Story Challenge now!!!
that story proves an excellent point and it was very good!
I always like reading Severus-closure stories. I feel like he deserves more closure in his life, even if he doesn’t get it until after death.
I like the way Neville is characterised in the first scene: he is happy to have James in his house, and he remembers the terror of his Sorting. These traits recall to me the Neville of the books. But we also see the way he’s matured, the teacherly way that he dreads having so many troublesome Weasleys and Potters in his house.
Nitpick alert: Just this morning, Neville had been leaving the Great Hall To me, the word “this” seems a bit awkward in past tense; I think “Just that morning” might flow better.
At first I thought that Neville was being uncharacteristically cruel to Snape in the office, but it made sense once I got here: He had never thought of him as anything other than a cruel and sadistic teacher. Neville had never thought of Snape as a human being with any feelings other than anger and hatred. This and the cruelty that Neville endured at Snape’s hands explain his lack of compassion.
Neville began to feel bad about what he was saying, but he couldn’t stop himself from continuing. Again, this confirms that your characterisation of Neville is not off: he does have compassion, but his long down-trodden feelings demand release and explanation.
“I have hated you for most of my life. I realise now, it isn’t hate I should feel, it’s pity. Pity over the fact you choose to align yourself with a murderer. But, I guess in the end, you got what you deserved, or did you? Perhaps, you should have lived; lived a long life knowing what you did and the heartbreak you caused.” I thought this was interesting because Neville, unlike Harry, does not seem to forgive Snape’s actions. He understands his motives, but he still despises him for what he did. I don’t think this is out of character for Neville, but it surprised me.
I think the last line was important to keep Snape in character: even when he does good deeds, he has a somewhat selfish motive. He is a brave man, but he’s not a Gryffindor.
Very satisfying! Your story expresses something that I’ve experienced in my own life: what hurts the most about being treated badly is not knowing why you’re being treated that way, and even if the reason is unjust, knowing what it is helps a lot. Great job!
Oh!! I really, really enjoyed this, wonderful story!
Terri, i love how you put sadistic personalities into characteristics. They give such clever anwers. It seemed like a long stretch, but I like how you connected the dots. Neville's got a backbone. Very interesting. Yes!
Why? Why did you stop there, Terri? I want to read more! Why did Severus do it for himself? What did he hope to accomplish?
Terri, hon, that is a really great story. I love it. I marvel how you came up with that reasoning why Severus Snape always hated Neville. It makes so much sense and explains everything: Why Severus targeted Neville so often at school, why he told Voldemort about the prophecy he eavesdropped on. Just brilliant. You truly have a very deep understanding of the universe.
What I also liked was Neville’s characterisation. He has come a long way from the frightened and clumsy boy he was in his first years to the man with experience in fighting against dark magic in his teenager years. I, too, believe that he would stand up to Severus and demand an answer to why he had always been bullied. The characterisation of Neville is executed marvellously.
And the one of Severus as well. He never showed emotions, only when Lily was concerned. I therefore think that the sentence Hating you would imply I have feelings one way or another for you shows brilliantly what kind of man Severus was: emotional on the inside, but never showing it, appearing as a cold and hard man. Your depiction of Severus is how I perceive him from what I know from the books.
However, I doubt the following statement of Neville: I don’t for one second think had he killed me he would have stopped. He still would have gone after Harry. And Lily Potter still would have died to save her son. In my opinion, it implies that Neville didn’t believe that his own mother would have done the same Lily had done for Harry. How would Neville know? Yes, he knows his mother, but only as what she became after Bellatrix’s tortured her and Neville’s father. Even if Neville’s relatives told him what people his parents were, I doubt that they would know if Alice would have stood in front of her son or not. With Neville thinking that his mother wouldn’t have done so – I believe he thinks this because that’s how I interpret the statement – he shows that he has a not so good impression of his own mother. But why when all he knew of Alice is what he heard of others and saw her “insane” self in St. Mungo’s?
Also, I believe that Severus would have picked up on that. Maybe not right away; after all, Neville just told Severus head on what he had done wrong in regard to Lily. But, eventually, I think Severus would question it because he is a very smart man. I would have loved to see the conversation both Neville and Severus then have. Maybe it justifies another chapter? *is hopeful*
All in all, however, like I already said, I love this story, Terri. It’s gripping, it’s canon reliant, it’s funny and at the same time heartbreakingly sad, and it’s enlightening. Let me at the end congratulate you on that story. Also, I think you should write more about Neville’s time and stress with the Weasley and Potter offspring in his position as Gryffindor’s Head of House.
Thank you for an enjoyable read.
Seeing the look of pain on Snape’s face, Neville smiled inwardly.
-No matter how much we saw Neville harden in the last book, I don't see him smiling at another's pain, no matter who it is,
I loved this story; I thought it very believable besides the one line I nit-picked above.
You're in my favorite authors, and this story is a prime example of why,
I miss y'all on the forums, and I'm dying for November to come!!!!
I saw you only had three reviews and I thought your story needed more!
I liked how Neville walked up to Snape's painting, I was like "Ahh, Nevvy's all grown up! So proud." LOL. When Snape said why, I felt really sorry for him. I could just imagine him tormenting Nev for that reason... and come to think of it, that was probably the reason.
Poor Snape... *slaps self* Can't believe you got me to say that! Damn, you are good.
Wow, Terri, awesome! I really liked it! I espicially liked the fact that Neville became confident enough to finally confront Snape. Good job!--Nadia
I think that you did an excellent job with this. It is an interesting theory as to why Snape hated Neville, and it actually seems quite realistic now that I think about it.
I agree with ProfPosky. The last line was a great ending and I thought it was something Snape would say without getting too mushy.
One thing I would like to point out: At one point you had Snape say something about Harry looking like >>James
I like it.
Obligatory nitpick - I think you meant Neville had never seen him as more than the sadistic teacher, rather than less than the sadistic teacher, or however that went...
I like the concept, I like the execution. I think it is a tiny bit stronger at the end than at the beginning, although I don't find the beginning weak.
I love the last line.
Author's Response: I am so glad you liked it since if we didn't have that convo about Snape that night, I wouldn't have gotten the idea. I will go rephrase the line in question. Thank you for pointing that out. Thanks for the review. Terri