MuggleNet Fan Fiction
Harry Potter stories written by fans!

Name: ron lover (Signed) · Date: 11/22/09 16:00 · For: Involuntary Volunteer
I love this oneshot. the characterization of the characters is amazing. The differences between Lockhart and Snape is really pronounced in this onesjot. It's cool to read about them and how many differences they have. Lockhart is bubbly and cheerful and Snape is a bit more... sarcastic. They make an interesting pair. This is just an mamzing oneshot. You did a great job with this.

Author's Response: A belated thank-you! Glad you enjoyed the story. I have always enjoyed writing Lockhart stories, and hope to get another one up in the future.

Name: Karaley Dargen (Signed) · Date: 07/13/09 9:02 · For: Involuntary Volunteer

I enjoyed your story a lot. It is very interesting to see the teachers' PoV of the events during CoS, and I've always wondered how Snape ended up in that Duelling Club with Lockhart. I imagined that he was hoping to "accidentally" put Lockhart in the Hospital Wing or something, but your Involuntary Volunteer-scene sounds more realistic. I particularily enjoyed the last two paragraphs of your story, they really made me laugh.

Before I continue with content related things, a small nitpick: Why, Professor Flitwick was just telling me about how a fourth-year Hugglepuff girl accidently dispelled him across the room during lessons.”

While I enjoy the "Hugglepuff", I don't think it is a term Snape would use. I also wondered about "dueling", because I always thought it was "duelling" with two l-s, but I guess that's one of the American/British things.

Now, on to the content of your fic. I think you did a really good job showing Snape's thoughts and feelings, especially those about Harry. I also like your characterisation of Flitwick; although we never hear him talk much (except for PoA), I can really imagine him talking like that to other teachers, and I think you characterised him quite well.

The only thing I can criticise here is your characterisation of McGonagall. While I generally like the way you wrote her, in my opinion she trusted Snape. While I agree with you that she only trusted him because Dumbledore trusted him, I think she trusted him fully because Dumbledore said he had his reasons. I don't believe she doubted Snape's allegiance or was easily angry with him. Actually, from the books I always got the impression that they got along quite well.

Now, I thought your story was quite nice, until Lockhart entered – then it really had me cracking up. You wrote him so well! I particularily liked the sentences

“Everyone! I’ve just come up with an idea! Stunningly brilliant!”


“Good man,” Lockhart remarked loudly as Severus exited the staffroom door, “but he’s rather big-headed, don’t you think?”

It shows perfectly how convinced Lockhart is of himself without actually realising that he himself is the one who keeps bragging all the time.

Also, the way he wriggles out of duelling Flitwick (because, of course, Lockhart would lose) was very in character. He pretends that he doesn't want to humiliate Flitwick, and Flitwick, who doesn't want to duel him, plays along although of course he does know better. I also really liked how you remembered and included the information about Flitwick being a duelling champion in his younger years.

Overall, a really nice and enjoyable story, and I had great fun reading it!

*toaster huggles*

Author's Response: Sorry for the belated reply! I only just remembered that I never responded! Anyway, thank you for the review and the very good things you pointed out. I had a sudden fright when I read the dueling/duelling thing, but in the American dictionary, it's just dueling (which I thought very strange). I should have thought more about McGonagall's characterization in that one part I guess I was trying to further the story more than keeping in step with the character. Anyway, Lockhart was by far the most fun to write! I hope to do more with him because he's both jolly and idiotic... a dangerous combination indeed. Thanks for reading!

Name: Charles Sinclair (Signed) · Date: 06/25/09 3:04 · For: Involuntary Volunteer
Wow, this is so good. Pithy, focused and so thoroughly believable. This could been taken as a chapter from the books. Well done.

Author's Response: Thanks! I rereading the books a few months ago and thought this would be an interesting "how did this happen?" side story. I'm trying to find more moments like that because I think there could be a lot of staffroom discussion fics that would be fun to write.

Name: ginnygirl16 (Signed) · Date: 06/24/09 18:37 · For: Involuntary Volunteer
Congratulations! I'm glad to see this up. It is very good:) --ginnygirl16

Author's Response: Thanks you again for helping! This side story was a lot of fun!

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