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wow!!! the best AU i have ever read, so complex in design its like J.K Rowling planned it herself (you sure your not her). please write more for this series, anything, what happens to Leah, Cory and Gwen, do they stay at Kootaney? move to Hogwarts? does Harry decide to teach after all? i need to know, so please continue :)
What a fantastic story! I love how you added little snippets of Voldie's, Harry's and Nagini's thoughts in the beginning of the story. I didn't really agree with Harry surviving the AK, though--it seemed a bit cheap, and Harry probably would have been happier dying right then. Still, you did a great job.
I haven't read Alternate Ending, and I agree (so far ^_^) that it isn't required to understand the premise of this story.
I like your MC, Leah, and her complicated relationship with her father. It reminds me of what Colin Creevey and his dad must have felt. You hint very nicely at a mystery concerning her absent mother, with Leah's "ups and downs throughout the years" and her hope that her dad wouldn't become a recluse without her.
The personalities of Leah, Gwen and Cory are an interesting mix for a NextGen trio. Cory saying he was born in Romania was a smiley moment. Gwen's a fiesty character, but some of her dialogue read like an info dump. I counted ten sentences (a couple of them extremely long) without an action to give the reader a pause.
I very much enjoyed your descriptions of her cat, Soot, the people and motion of the train, and the night sky when they reached the school. I didn't much like the name of the school, however. McGonagall, while practical, surely could have come up with a better name than Kootenay, which, as the name of an area, river, and national park, both gives away the location of the school (not a wise thing to do in any time, peaceful or perilous) and lacks imagination. It's like the Founders naming Hogwarts "Highlands."
I wondered how you were going to sort the students, and a magic stone is a clever way. I like the house names, and suspect Leah will be sorted into Talos, as she's protective of her father and should fit into a house named after a giant of bronze who protected Europa from invaders and pirates.
Off to chapter two. :)
What an amazing story. You really captured and made this story absolutelyblievably, Au though it may be. And the ending is great. I really liked in it when you made it really coparable to the books, like when Leah and Gwen were eating Jelly Beans, and frogs
Author's Response: Thank you :D I'm glad you liked those parts because so many readers did not, saying that it was too much like the books.
Is Masen Harry Potter???
I just read the story the whole way through, I'm still really new at this site, but I wish I could have been reading this as it was being written! You should really think about continuing on with the new trio. Maybe continue some of the Harry Potter stuff. I would definitely read every little bit of writing you did. Thank you so much for putting this story out, it was truly amazing!
Author's Response: Thank you so much!
Thanks for the previous comment and yes I continued to read and am enjoying it immensely when Cory and Gwen stat arguing I always start laughing and say Ron and Hermione with Harry in the middle. This is most defiantly getting better and I am as I said before Enjoying it.
Ok I definitely read something almost identical to this at least 5 TIMES. It sounds to much like the first Harry Potter book to me witch is ok but, I'm losing some interest and I don't want to so I would suggest perhaps adding some flare or something in the being of this chapter something that would make HP fans laugh perhaps.
Author's Response: I'm sorry you feel that way. The beginning of the story is similar to the first Harry Potter book and there are a couple reasons: first, they're 1st yrs starting at a new school, going through the same experiences every 1st yr does, so yes some things do happen similarly. The second reason will not become apparent or be explained until later, when the story does pick up. I hope you continue reading and thank you for taking the time to review.
Its a brillant fanfic, great plot! Its good that it sort of uses some of the situations from the books here. It's horrible what happened to some of the charcters in the book, but overall fantastic story :D
Author's Response: Thank you!
I must say i loved this story, i was crying my eyes out the last few chapters. What i loved most is that this could have possible happened.
I like the way you have taken parts of the original stories and played with them a bit, for example the trio, the godfather situation and the arguments between gwen and cory remind me so much of ron and hermione.
This story is truly a work of art and i would have purchased this story if it had been published. Keep up with the fantastic stories- im away to read more of your tales.
Author's Response: Thank you so much! To hear that you would have purchased it if it was a real book ... that's the most amazing compliment I could have received. Thanks for reviewing!!
Beautiful. I loved the end, but (morbid as it seems) think I might prefer it if Harry had died.I think it would have given it another dimension. But that's just my humble opinion, and I have to say I loved it the way it was. It was a treat to watch your writing progress from good to great. It's so rare to find any finished Voldemort wins stories, and many that I do find aren't as good as this one. This was a pleasure to read. And you write evil cliffies; I'm still awake and it's two in the morning! Anyway, love the story.
Author's Response: Aww thank you!!! I think it really could have gone either way for Harry: him dying or not. But I love Teddy and once the idea came to have Harry start over with him in the end, I couldn't let that go. Evil cliffies are fun to write :P.
Aww, yay! Harry is going to be okay. Though I know you said you wouldn't do it, I was worried that he'd plummet into the lake or something in despair. I never thought of him picking up as Teddy's godfather. In a way, it all came full circle, with Harry coming into Teddy's life at 13, just as Sirius had come into his. I think the effect on both of them will be positive.
Wow, what a lovely story. It really is a great read, and I hope you feel accomplished for finishing it. Just look at the number of stories that are started and never finished, and you can safely say that no, it wasn't you in there. :D
Welcome to the club!
It's been a great ride, and I'm glad I picked your story out of so many to read, because it's extraordinary. Take care and happy writing,
Author's Response: Aww ... thanks!! :D I do feel accomplished, although I CAN actually call myself a member of the Abandoned Stories club. My first attempt at a chapter fan fiction got to chapter 10 and no further, and has been steadily collecting dust on my Author's page. I don't think I'll ever take it down 'cuz it shows a lot of my development as a writer ... but I doubt it'll ever get finished either. :P
Oh, I heart heart heart your CAPSLOCK!Harry. I never really thought about it, but he would end up being empty and hollow like Sirius. After that much time in Azkaban, there would be no way of him properly adjusting to anything resembling normalcy. In fact, I think that Harry's position would be even worse. It was said that wizards lose their magic after years in Azkaban, and I sort of think that it would happen to Harry, as well. He would basically be one pissed off Muggle/Squib with nowhere to go and no one to turn to.
I cant wait for the epilogue, because I sort of think Harry's gonna end up killing himself, and I want to know if I'm right.
Happy writing, and very well done!
Author's Response: Oooh, I don't want Harry to kill himself! *shudders* In my universe, Harry doesn't lose his magic (Sirius didn't either, so maybe it happens if the prisoner loses his mind? Maybe he's cut off from his magic when the prisoner's no longer themselves?) But you're right, Harry can never be the same as he was. He still has friends though, and a place to go; McGonagall n the Weasleys especially make sure of that. I also think Harry is very resilient - he's always dealt with a lot - and I love writing and reading angsty Harry, but I love happy endings more :P
P.S. The epilogue will be in the queue very soon! I'm ready to put this story to rest.
So, um...WOW. To think that Voldie's soul could even give a dementor indigestion is interesting, but I would like to ask how it was that Voldemort's body just, you know, reappeared. Last time, it required that ritual in GoF, but this time, a body just appeared out of thinair. I woldn't mind knowing what your thought process is behind it.
Yay, Harry's alive!!! The idea that he was dead dead made me sad inside, but he's alive, thank merlin. That does beg the question of where Harry's mind whas during all of this. In DH, it was in King's Cross with Dumbledore. It would be interesting to know where you have him during the time between 'death' and when he started breathing again. I suppose I have to keep reading to find out, eh?
One more chapter plus an epilogue? Well, there's one chapter, so I suppose I can't wait for the epilogue. :D
Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing!! About Voldemort reappearing ... it probably doesn't make much sense .... but my idea was that he didn't HAVE his own body, and he didn't just regain it when he reappeared here. That body was destroyed during the first Hogwarts battle when Harry walked to his death, and so essentially, Harry was a Horcrux whose conscious mind had been pushed back by Voldie overload. Like in CoS, young Voldie could materialize out of his diary, but he wasn't 100% solid person either. Same idea. In this case however, the Dementor drew out the soul but Voldie didn't have enough happy memories for the Dementor to contain him, so he spit Voldie's soul back out. Voldie probably could've gone back in Harry - nothing was stopping him - he just decided to vent his anger instead.
Hope that makes sense LOL!
Hmm, old Moldy Shorts is playing his hand now. This is very intriguing, and the idea for the dementor is great. How better to suck out a soul than to use one of them?
I'd leave a more substantial review, but I'm eager to get to teh next chapter. Wondeful, as usual.
Hi! I have to tell you to keep up the good work with this story. I don't usually like fics like this, but yours has managed to keep my attention well and grab me. Great job.
This chapter answers alot of my questions and is very well writen. I love the classic Luna moment. I think I understand the fanon, like what if?.
Author's Response: thank you!
Yay, an update!
Oh, man, the beginning of this chapter is so sick, so wrong, and oh-so-awesome! The detail in which you describe Harry's torture as he had to watch Voldemort do unspeakable acts while stealing his identity... I mean, wow. I knew this was coming, but I just never expected this level or awfulness.
The idea about the Dementor sucking out Voldemort's soul from Harry's body is a brilliant idea. Even if it got Harry's, too, I don't think he would care - just so long as Voldie went, too. The part where Pottermort (I shall call him that for the moment, lol) killed Ginny, it was heartbreaking. Now, I'm not what you'd call a Harry/Ginny fan, but my heart melted there for a minute at the sheer hurt and horror that emanated from the screen as I read this.
Poor Leah. She had to have been terrified when Pottermort changed from Voldie to Harry. She had an idea that he wasn't all bad all the time, but she also couldn't know if it wasn't some dirty trick.
And of course it took drastic measures for anyone to even come close to believing her. Sure, Gwen and Cory believed her right away, since they know her well enough that she couldn't possibly make it up, but that didn't stop me from feeling awful for all three of them, desperate to warn the 'adults'.
Very lovely chapter, and it's just so very compelling to read. You've taken so many minor canon details and crafted a fantastic AU story. Shame on people for not reading this more, because it's such an awesome fic.
Cheers to you, and I'll see you next time!
Author's Response: Haha ... 'Pottermort' ... now that is awesome :D
The beginning part was so heartbreaking for me to write, too .... especially because I am a Harry/Ginny fan. They're my favourite pairing in this fandom, so it hurt me to do that, but when this was still just a one-shot the idea was purely for shock-value and I killed a lot of characters that I love.
Thanks for reviewing as always!
Oh! what are dementors doing there?
It was Masen who conjoured the Patronum, wasn't it? ...
Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing :P I'm glad you're enjoying it so far.