Very good :) This story is going in my head-canon!
Author's Response: ha ha - this is slightly out of my canon (My fic Apparently Asleep has Remus working with Charlie, but he already knows Tonks), but this one was fun to write. Thank you~Carole~
just read both chapters. i really enjoyed hearing a snippet about remus' life before arriving at hogwarts. we hear so little about it in the series. we hear about sirius and his imprisonment or being on the run after his escape or his 2nd escape from the atrology tower. we hear about peter and snippets about his returning to voldemort and of course his years hidden with the weasleys. (frankly i could care less about hearing about that traitor.) we nevwer quite hear enough about remus i think. he seems like a genuinely sweet and tortured man. he was the most well rounded of the marauders. almost as good a wizard as his two glory seeking best friends who were known to be top of the class and very daring, he lacked their cockiness and bad judgement. he was also brave but was mistreated by society for an affliction thrust upon him at the tender age of six. i loved hearing about his first meeting with his future wife. was really hoping you were going to continue the story. it was a great plot so far and i loved how you threw in the parts about charlie's feelings because many people speculate that tonks and charlie may have had or could have a relationship being similar ages. well im still hoping you will continue if i am persuasive enough. :D
Author's Response: Thank you very much. I'm sorry, but I won't be adding to this story, but I do have a longer one called Apparently Asleep which concerns Remus and Tonks and, if not exactly compliant with this, is very similar. There are some scenes in Romania in that fic as well. I agree about Remus - we don't know enough about his life between 1981 and 1993 when he became DADA Professor. I'm very pleased you liked the Charlie/Tonks aspect to this fic as well. In my other fic, their friendship plays an important part. I appreciate the review, so thanks again. ~Carole~
Hello again, Carole! I’ve come back for more. ^_^
I must say that I quite liked this chapter. I’ll tell you something a bit funny that happened as I began reading it, though. When you first mentioned the girl in the purple bathing suit with the blonde curls, I was horrified. I thought, “Oh, no! She’s going to be this random enchantingly beautiful woman who sweeps Remus off his feet and solves all his problems! That’s not what I want!” You’ll imagine how relieved I was when I realised who she was. I then laughed at myself because of course, this being you, Remus could never be swept off his feet by anyone but dear Tonks.
I think you have the characterisation of Tonks down to a tee. Of course there is her clumsiness and her vendetta against her given name, but you also capture her determination and desire to be seen beyond her first impressions to what she really is. An example of that is this line: “I want to show Rufus Scrimgeour that a witch is every bit as capable of being an Auror as those half-witted wizards he has working for him.” I liked that line. Somehow the idea of Tonks being a bit of a feminist just fits.
“You just reminded me that the reason I’m here early is because I needed time away from work to think.” I got a bit confused here. I’m guessing that it was Remus’ saving Tonks from her clumsiness that reminded her of work, but it didn’t quite click for me at first and I think it could be made a bit clearer; perhaps Tonks could clarify.
“He followed behind, feeling rather like an unwelcome guest at a party.” I think you have a good handle on Remus’ character as well; the fact that he begins to feel like a bit of a third wheel here is an illustration of his insecurity. I also like the way he is slightly bemused by Tonks when he first meets her.
“A pricolici intent on causing death would not live amongst dragons.” Again, I’m not quite sure what Dmitri means here. I understand what he says next about Remus locking himself up each month, but it’s not clear to me why Remus would not live amongst dragons if he wanted to harm people.
“You’re very perceptive, Remus Lupin.” It just now occurred to me how true a statement that is. Remus is shown throughout the series to be quietly observant. So there’s another good job for you. :)
I like the way you use the last prompt of the challenge. Not only do you have a dragon dying, but you also use the quote for a completely different metaphor. Very nice ending!
I liked this second chapter a lot, Carole, and the story as a whole. I think you used the prompts and the setting effectively to write a plotline that allowed you to delve deeply into many different facets of Remus’ character. And Tonks made an appearance as well, for a bonus. :D
Thank you for a lovely read!
Author's Response: Heylooo, Lilu, thank-you for the lovely and very perceptive review. Okay, Q&A time. Remus had reminded her that she was in Romania early, because he said she wasn't expected for another week, I think. The remark about the werewolf not wanting to live among dragons is because dragoins (in my mind) are the only things that could effectively defeat a werewolf. If Remus wanted to kill or transform humans, then he's live far away froma dragon reserve. However, I take your point that it's a bit unclear - so thank you.
I had to have Tonks in it because I love her so much, and no, I can't have Remus bowled over by anyone else - you know me very well. (although look out for Chapter 13 in AA)
Thank you again for the great review. Lots of concrit and some praise too *beams* Carole xxx
I’ve been wanting to read this story ever since I got an e-mail about it when you first posted it. This is the first Triwizard stories I’ve read, and it’s interesting to see how you took the same prompts I had and made a completely different story from them.
I feel so sorry for poor Remus; he can’t escape. Just when he thinks he’s found someplace where he belongs, something like this happens. I think you’ve done a good job of capturing his optimistic nature—which I think he must have, to have survived all those years—but still showing us the hopelessness of his situation in life.
I was a bit surprised that Remus picked up the hatchling. What was it that made him so sure it wouldn’t harm him? He strikes me as being more cautious than that.
I really don’t have much else to say about this chapter; I’d say that’s a good sign. I’m curious as to what Remus will do or not do, and I shall read the rest shortly.
Author's Response: Hey, Lilu, thanks for the review. What I was trying to show with the hatchling was that Remus just knew instinctively that it wouldn't harm him because it had sensed that Remus was a werewolf. It is interesting to see how different our stories turned out, isn't it? I hope you like the next chapter. Watch out for another familiar face...
Not only did I enjoy the take on Remus' life before Hogwarts, but I like his introduction to a (blonde!) Tonks! I giggled when I realized the cute blonde in the purple bathing suit was her. I also think your take on how Tonks might have been accepted as an Auror with her clumsiness was quite brilliant while using the prompt as well. I liked that Remus would be the one to encourage her...a little bit of canon foreshadowing. :)
I really enjoyed reading this. It flows very well and it is just very well written.
Author's Response: Thank you so much, Amanda. I do love Remus and Tonks to an almost obsessive degree, so it is hard for me to write a tale about Remus without her - LOL. Carole xxx
Nice start. Remus seems in character, and your writing is engaging! Is this by any chance somewhat of a companion to "Apparently Asleep"?
Author's Response: Thanks for the review. It is similar to Apparently Asleep, but unfortunately in the next chapter you'll see why they aren't compliant with each other. I like to think they compliment each other. Thanks again. Carole
Great first chapter! I can't wait to read the rest of it! I particularly like that Remus has a tattoo...the images of the Mauraders was a nice little light moment amongst Remus' current indirection in his life. This is a great take on what Remus might have been doing all those years. Very creative title, as well. You are a great writer, and your work is very enjoyable to read!
Author's Response: Thank you very much. It's always a pleasure to receive lovely reviews like this and I'm glad you enjoyed my take on Remus during those lost years. Carole xxx